Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I agree and the argument about well you'd have to pay a landlord anyway, to me that's not the same thing...I am not emotionally or romantically involved with my landlord....I don't care about them (it's a company) and they don't care about me...it's strictly a business arrangement, I pay rent on time, they allow me to keep living there, and respond to my maintenance requests within a timely manner in accordance of the lease...I would have a hard time applying such businesslike arrangements with a significant other because of the emotions involved.
Yep and it makes it all business like and I think if things went south I would feel like Tabula Rasa, kind of used and annoyed that I invested all of this emotionally AND financially and had nothing to show for it. It seems like it'd add insult to injury if that makes sense.
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
Ok....I will do that. My SO is very willing to please. I didn't know you could do that without putting money down. He is concerned about how I will inherit his military pension without us being married so I guess this is a good thing to do then. We are filling out living wills and medical stuff together on the military base.
OP, what is it exactly you're not able to agree on when it comes to choosing a home?
The normal stuff I guess. He would like more of a fixer upper and I wouldn't. He also tends to like those icky sub divisions and I don't. I like character. We both agree a fenced in yard for our dogs, big bathroom and closet space, three bedrooms and two bathrooms. Maybe a garage. I also want him to be close to his job and I want to be able to continue to get some pet sitting gigs which means I need some well to do people in the area willing to spend money on pets so out in the sticks isn't going to work.
However, I personally would in no way consider sharing the title to a home with someone else unless they have "skin in the game". That's just asking for financial trouble. All the risk shifts towards the person who is more invested in the property.
However, I personally would in no way consider sharing the title to a home with someone else unless they have "skin in the game". That's just asking for financial trouble. All the risk shifts towards the person who is more invested in the property.
LOL....direct opposite of other posters though. I guess we will just have to find our own way as we usually do and that is why we have such a great relationship.
LOL....direct opposite of other posters though. I guess we will just have to find our own way as we usually do and that is why we have such a great relationship.
Agreed.. it is why I prefaced with the fact that I don't have the details of the relationship (how long for example)
From this link... just an FYI.. not trying to change your mind.
"Property owners may need to add or remove individuals as titleholders over time. An example of this might be due to a marriage or divorce. This is accomplished by using a quitclaim deed. This type of deed is generally used when property is not actually being purchased but to just make changes. Granting someone else ownership to the property via a deed does not make them financially responsible for the mortgage loan. Conversely, removing an owner who is also listed on the mortgage does not remove their financial responsibility. The only way to edit mortgage responsibility is to refinance the loan."
By adding your name to the title (but not being on the mortgage due to you previous bankruptcy), your SO assumes all responsibility for the entire amount of the loan while you still retain a claim on the property. You may feel like it is establishing equality in terms of say so in the property, but in reality it does not. He assumes the majority of the risk. I don't know your SO but for some people that may make them feel uncomfortable/trapped financially and that can lead to some level of resentment.
One compromise is to pay into the mortgage for an agreed amount of time. At that time, consider both a changing the title AND refinancing the property with both names. I did that with my wife.. not because she didn't have skin in the game but it was the most convenient time to do so.
I have been told that is no longer allowed since the most recent reform in the mortgage industry. If there is a mortgage, then everyone on the title goes on the mortgage.
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I guess we will just have to find our own way as we usually do and that is why we have such a great relationship.
