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What's up to whom ever may take the time to read my dilemma.
I have no clue where to start with this thread. I absolutely need to vent and get some kind of feedback. I know I need to see a therapist, waiting for my insurance to kick on.
Me and my girl have been together for 2 1/2 years. A lot of amazing ups, a lot of crazy downs. I'm 26 and divorced, she is 23.
I was raised around heavy psychology so understand a lot of that nature of things. I watched my parents be each other's best friend/lovers for years. Never argued in front of us, honestly looking back they were a damn good relationship(outside looking in anyway, we all have our issues)
I am just overly obsessed with my girl. Would rather be with her than anyone, including friends, family, my own hobbies.
My philosophy on this is what is so wrong about being a "relationship person". I can't be the only one. Why is it bad/wrong to want to be with one person all the time? I understand if the feeling isn't mutual then you have to respect that.
We have got to that point where we realize I am much more condependant (in negative terms, lol). And I tell her I feel we are from two different books, you want this highschool/college type relationship where we just do random cute things together, ****, buy each other things and otherwise we do our own thing. Whereas I want to grow together, build our own family (mind you she is on board for marriage and wants my kid and calls me her soul mate I am just on another level I guess, obsessed).
I've considered the break on a serious note because as much as I have to respect her wants/desires. I am a person too, and I deserve what I am seeking as well. The break doesnt work because she has legal issues being dealt with and without me she can't really guarantee she will catch all her dates/classes. So she would want the break but still take my car. And I'm over here like naa **** that if I'm gone then all of me is gone you don't get your cake and eat it too. So then we argue, we both apologize and move on like nothing happened.
Tbh, I'm so tired of arguing, so tired of the same nonsense coming up, tired of wanting so much more and I have been ready for so much more. Love is truly what is holding us together. We both know it, both have said it. Trying to find a way around my emotional ass. Some days I feel I'm the problem and other days I'm like well **** that I am who I am and if you can't love me and give me what I'm looking for then I guess we are not meant to be.
Don't get me wrong, we have a lot of good, a lot of greats. I feel if I left her, her entire life would really **** up. I don't want to put her info out there but her supports are very few and far between. I love this woman to death and would do anything for her and have proven that. I've been patient and I'm just ready for that "married lifestyle"(as people call it).
Anyone been in a similar situation or have some words of encouragement/advice?
What's up to whom ever may take the time to read my dilemma.
I have no clue where to start with this thread. I absolutely need to vent and get some kind of feedback. I know I need to see a therapist, waiting for my insurance to kick on.
Me and my girl have been together for 2 1/2 years. A lot of amazing ups, a lot of crazy downs. I'm 26 and divorced, she is 23.
I was raised around heavy psychology so understand a lot of that nature of things. I watched my parents be each other's best friend/lovers for years. Never argued in front of us, honestly looking back they were a damn good relationship(outside looking in anyway, we all have our issues)
I am just overly obsessed with my girl. Would rather be with her than anyone, including friends, family, my own hobbies.
My philosophy on this is what is so wrong about being a "relationship person". I can't be the only one. Why is it bad/wrong to want to be with one person all the time? I understand if the feeling isn't mutual then you have to respect that.
We have got to that point where we realize I am much more condependant (in negative terms, lol). And I tell her I feel we are from two different books, you want this highschool/college type relationship where we just do random cute things together, ****, buy each other things and otherwise we do our own thing. Whereas I want to grow together, build our own family (mind you she is on board for marriage and wants my kid and calls me her soul mate I am just on another level I guess, obsessed).
I've considered the break on a serious note because as much as I have to respect her wants/desires. I am a person too, and I deserve what I am seeking as well. The break doesnt work because she has legal issues being dealt with and without me she can't really guarantee she will catch all her dates/classes. So she would want the break but still take my car. And I'm over here like naa **** that if I'm gone then all of me is gone you don't get your cake and eat it too. So then we argue, we both apologize and move on like nothing happened.
Tbh, I'm so tired of arguing, so tired of the same nonsense coming up, tired of wanting so much more and I have been ready for so much more. Love is truly what is holding us together. We both know it, both have said it. Trying to find a way around my emotional ass. Some days I feel I'm the problem and other days I'm like well **** that I am who I am and if you can't love me and give me what I'm looking for then I guess we are not meant to be.
Don't get me wrong, we have a lot of good, a lot of greats. I feel if I left her, her entire life would really **** up. I don't want to put her info out there but her supports are very few and far between. I love this woman to death and would do anything for her and have proven that. I've been patient and I'm just ready for that "married lifestyle"(as people call it).
Anyone been in a similar situation or have some words of encouragement/advice?
I really don't know what the bold ^^^ means, but it doesn't sound good.
So ... even with all the "heavy psych" background you supposedly have, how did you get yourself in this position?
Sounds like your a smothering individual and at some point it will take its toll on your relationship. As individuals each has their own hopes,desires,dreams,goals and they don't always meld with what the other persons are. You seem more dependent on her making you feel important and she is less so. You need to have more self worth without another persons approval. You already know you have issues so gotake care of them. There shouldn't be any major expense involved so check to see about support groups with those who are co dependent and trying to break the habit.
More self worth, yes I need that. (Which is ironic because I'm quite the confident person) Making me feel more important, ouch but I can see how that works. That makes sense, wow never would have seen it that way. I figure doing everything for her and "smothering" is making her important.
Btw I'm no super psych lol just familiar
And she is Extremely beautiful I was just being sarcastic (I know, over a forum...what am I thinking)
More self worth, yes I need that. (Which is ironic because I'm quite the confident person) Making me feel more important, ouch but I can see how that works. That makes sense, wow never would have seen it that way. I figure doing everything for her and "smothering" is making her important.
Btw I'm no super psych lol just familiar
And she is Extremely beautiful I was just being sarcastic (I know, over a forum...what am I thinking)
I know you're just kidding around, but it will help if you drop all the asides, self-deprecation and navel-gazing and just straight up tell us what's up.
At minimum, you do sound like you're at a different place emotionally than she is.
Ahh yea because I strongly feel she would blame me for not giving her my car and get violated, miss court dates. Get locked up and **** on me until some dude throws her a pitty party. (One day I did keep my car and she bailed on work) She is very cute and always says I was the first man who actually questioned her and challenged her. Everyone else kinda just did what she said. I see a lot in her and push her to reach it but you can't change anyone. And people won't do anything unless they want to themselves.
Ahh yea because I strongly feel she would blame me for not giving her my car and get violated, miss court dates.
I would never stay with someone who would actually do that.
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