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We broke up a few months ago, he tried to make things work again but I just pushed him away and that was that. I was in school and working, I thought I was fine and over it but during this Thanksgiving break, it hit me hard that the relationship is really over. I miss him like crazy. I cried a lot last night thinking about him, my heart literally feels empty and it's such a crappy feeling. I want him back. I miss his voice, his face, his touch, just everything. I feel like it won't work out and I don't wanna go through the drama and long-distance anymore, but I honestly feel like he's "the one". Of the guys I've dated in the past, never have I thought about a future with them, but with this guy, we discussed the whole nine yards. I never thought I was fit to have kids, but it was a real possibility when I thought about my future with him, seeing how close he was to his family and how much he wanted to start his own family made me want to make it happen. I've never been so invested in a relationship and I'm scared that I won't ever meet someone that will make me feel that way again. I loved this guy, both his good qualities and flaws. I adore him, and I've never felt that way with any other guys I've dated. Should I try to contact him? Part of me is scared that he's happy and with someone else right now. If that's the case, I rather not know. I'm going back to school again so maybe I'll be occupied again and won't hurt as much, but once winter break rolls around, I'm afraid that this crappy feeling is gonna come back.
Firstly, why did you break up? I understand that you're attending school and working, but were those the reason?
Secondly, you said he wanted to make it work, but you rebuffed him. Kudos to him for trying; you made the decision to end the relationship, not him!
Thirdly, you ask if you should contact him. Now think about it a minute: either you want to get back with him or you don't! He may be seeing someone else now; he may be alone and missing you as much. All I can say is go ahead and contact him if you want, but don't be too devastated if he tells you he's moved on. He may, or may not, still be available. It's a risk you'll have to take.
I always find it weird that people talk about loving a person yet they walk away from it. If you love someone enough, you stay. You didn't stay so obviously, you didn't love him enough to stay. Action speaks quite loud in your case.
I have never left someone that I love and wanted to stay. If I left, its because I didn't love her enough to stay.
I'm scared that I won't ever meet someone that will make me feel that way again.
This ^^^ is NOT a good reason to date someone.
No, you should NOT contact him.
You're feeling nostalgic since it's a holiday, and it's making it harder on you. But you have to keep moving forward, not backward. That guy had flaws, yes, but he also had someone else in the wings, if you recall.
Go back and read your other threads if you have to. My advice there still stands.
If there are two lessons I've learned over the years...
There is no such thing as "the one", "true love"....
and
Love is not enough...
My previous GF and I ended our relationship amicably and from that a long friendship was established. We loved each other and very passionate. We'd be throwing things at each other in anger and the next minute sharing a wonderful dinner gazing each other yearning for some personal time in the bed room. It was a wonderful time in my life.
But in the long term... all the drama... the bipolar manic like relationship simply drains the life out of a person.
Whatever you do, don't string this guy along like you did.... that is not something you do to a person you still care/concern for. He tried to make things work... you rejected his efforts. You will need to live with your decision. If you do pursue him once again, you will need to be prepared for the rejection and acceptance that it is your fault. If he has moved on, Leave him be.
I recommend leaving him be... do not reach out to him. Focus on getting yourself moving forward again.
No matter how painful it is now, it does get better and with time you too will accept and move on. This type of heartbreak only has one cure.... working through it and giving yourself time. A few month may not be long enough considering this was all your doing and there exists a bit of guilt and regret.
If he was "the one" you never would have broken up with him in the first place and rebuffed him when he tried to reconcile. You are just feeling melancholy during the holidays which is perfectly normal but no reason to go running back to him. I have broken up with people, and at times I entertained the thought of reuniting, but then I remembered why we broke up in the first place. With my wife I knew she was "the one" and I treasure every moment we are together. There was an instance where I had to make the choice of being with her or moving on. Even though it was miles outside my comfort zone I decided to be with her and it was the best decision of my life. When its "the one" you will know and you will do everything to stay together and you won't let it break up.
I'm scared that I won't ever meet someone that will make me feel that way again.
Everyone who has been through a breakup has said the exact same thing. I mean literally word for word. And yet people still end up meeting someone 100 times better afterward who really IS the one they marry.
So, if your statement were true for every person who ever said that (which, as I said is everyone who has ever broken up), then there would be nobody getting married and nobody ever dating anybody again. Clearly people are still falling in love and getting married all the time despite having said those exact same words, word for word, after their last breakup.
You miss him because he is gone. Just like you were into the relationship with him because it was long distance and he wasn't readily available. More than likely, you're really not had available to have a relationship, which is why you chose the long distance and are now missing him after he's gone
The holidays can do that, depending on how long ago the break-up was.
But you could also be in the rose-colored stage of a break-up, where you only think of the good things about the person, and not the reasons you broke up. So focus on why you broke up and all the things he said or did that annoyed or hurt you.
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