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After a certain point following a break-up, you start to feel that "regret"...partially because by then you've forgotten the immediate sting of the things that were bothering you and are now looking back on history a bit more rosily than it actually happened.
But the reality is that you two broke up for a reason (reasons). Those don't just go away.
You're feeling nostalgic since it's a holiday, and it's making it harder on you. But you have to keep moving forward, not backward. That guy had flaws, yes, but he also had someone else in the wings, if you recall.
Go back and read your other threads if you have to. My advice there still stands.
I keep on going back to this discussion board to talk about my relationship lol. I miss him so much, it's driving me crazy. Not sure why, but I was fine for the first few months of the break-up. It just hit me really hard last week as I thought about how much time I spent with him the last time I went back home. He told me he never saw that girl when he wanted to get back together. Being sick doesn't help either, just makes me want to cry and call him. I feel so pathetic.
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Originally Posted by Just A Guy
You miss him because he is gone. Just like you were into the relationship with him because it was long distance and he wasn't readily available. More than likely, you're really not had available to have a relationship, which is why you chose the long distance and are now missing him after he's gone
I would never choose to have a long-distance relationship unless I was already in love with that person, which was the case here.
OP, I personally would send him a message, text, letter....whatever, saying everything your feeling, put it all out there. Whats the worst that could happen? Hes already with someone else, so what if it stays that way? Do you want to look back and know you took that chance or just let it go?
I keep on going back to this discussion board to talk about my relationship lol. I miss him so much, it's driving me crazy. Not sure why, but I was fine for the first few months of the break-up. It just hit me really hard last week as I thought about how much time I spent with him the last time I went back home. He told me he never saw that girl when he wanted to get back together. Being sick doesn't help either, just makes me want to cry and call him. I feel so pathetic.
He's 12 years older than you, and you said before you felt suffocated by him, that you knew he wanted to settle down and live a more domesticated life that you, frankly, were not ready for.
Have you tried to immerse yourself in grad school? Have you met any new people? Do you not have any family you can call when you are sick?
The holidays can do that, depending on how long ago the break-up was.
But you could also be in the rose-colored stage of a break-up, where you only think of the good things about the person, and not the reasons you broke up. So focus on why you broke up and all the things he said or did that annoyed or hurt you.
This! Why don't you start making plans for the winter break, OP, so you're not spending too much time alone? Sometimes our minds deceive us & lead us to believe things were a lot better than they actually were.
OP I am sorry you are feeling so rough right now. I don't know how long you were together but trust this will take some time. Right now is a bit more challenging what with the holidays and all. It will likely get worse before it starts to get better. Please be strong and wait it out, the storm will pass.
Do not contact him. Call your mom, your dad, your siblings, your friends, your neighbors, your pastor, even throw out some posts on CD, BUT DO NOT contact him. This is a path that WILL lead to heartbreak (Ask me how I know.)
The kindest and most loving thing you can do for you both (yes, him too) is let go.
He's 12 years older than you, and you said before you felt suffocated by him, that you knew he wanted to settle down and live a more domesticated life that you, frankly, were not ready for.
Have you tried to immerse yourself in grad school? Have you met any new people? Do you not have any family you can call when you are sick?
Yes, I've met some great people and do have family/friends I can contact. I just feel really crappy right now without his presence in my life. Being on break only made it worse, and I feel like with winter break coming up, I'm just gonna drive myself crazy thinking about him and not want to do anything I want to settle down with him. I'm not sure if I'm feeling like this because I miss him but I can honestly see myself marrying this guy. I haven't tried to contact him yet.
We broke up a few months ago, he tried to make things work again but I just pushed him away and that was that. I was in school and working, I thought I was fine and over it but during this Thanksgiving break, it hit me hard that the relationship is really over. I miss him like crazy. I cried a lot last night thinking about him, my heart literally feels empty and it's such a crappy feeling. I want him back. I miss his voice, his face, his touch, just everything. I feel like it won't work out and I don't wanna go through the drama and long-distance anymore, but I honestly feel like he's "the one". Of the guys I've dated in the past, never have I thought about a future with them, but with this guy, we discussed the whole nine yards. I never thought I was fit to have kids, but it was a real possibility when I thought about my future with him, seeing how close he was to his family and how much he wanted to start his own family made me want to make it happen. I've never been so invested in a relationship and I'm scared that I won't ever meet someone that will make me feel that way again. I loved this guy, both his good qualities and flaws. I adore him, and I've never felt that way with any other guys I've dated. Should I try to contact him? Part of me is scared that he's happy and with someone else right now. If that's the case, I rather not know. I'm going back to school again so maybe I'll be occupied again and won't hurt as much, but once winter break rolls around, I'm afraid that this crappy feeling is gonna come back.
If you feel so strongly about him, try contacting him, you really have nothing to lose at this point.
Another question - is it weird to feel so strongly about someone? I almost feel like I like him TOO much. He's ALWAYS in my head now and I can't get him out. I was fine for almost 2 months after the break-up.. sure I missed him, but not to this extent. I don't know what's going on, I really don't want to like/think about someone that much. I've known him for over a year now, so the honeymoon phase should be over, shouldn't it? He's so perfect in my mind
If you feel so strongly about him, try contacting him, you really have nothing to lose at this point.
Ouch...I have to disagree with this...she contacts him out of momentary sentimentality, he gets re-attached, she realizes "oh yeah...now I remember all the reasons I broke up with him" and disappears again, he's there heartbroken for the second time and on the fast track to some serious bitterness. Meanwhile she's walked away from all that.
Not saying it would definitely be this way but the possibility would certainly seem to be there.
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I keep on going back to this discussion board to talk about my relationship lol. I miss him so much, it's driving me crazy. Not sure why, but I was fine for the first few months of the break-up. It just hit me really hard last week as I thought about how much time I spent with him the last time I went back home. He told me he never saw that girl when he wanted to get back together. Being sick doesn't help either, just makes me want to cry and call him. I feel so pathetic.
