Okay with girls approaching me; why do I never have interest in those who do approach? (dating, women)
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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Yes CD, I am making another thread trying to make sense of my poor dating life. Sigh.
Now I've been one of the biggest talkers on this forum about how unfairly slanted the dating game is towards the men having to make most of the effort. One area I've discussed at length is about how the man typically ends up having to show interest to get anything going. I've always thought it would be nice to have a woman show interest in me and I thought I'd be turned on by someone who went after what they want.
Well in the last couple of years, I've had 4-5 girls show and initiate considerable interest in me and have even asked me out. All of them have been either straight up rejections from me or I've gone out on one date and wished I didn't waste my time. They have not been women I've had a concrete physical attraction to. So that plays into it. Maybe it is the fact that I've not been the one to put in the work to chase.
Can anyone give their opinion of why I've had this hangup about being asked out?
Maybe it's not a hang-up. Maybe they just didn't appeal to you. It happens. For example, if you walked into a roomful of women, how many do you think would appeal to you? Probably not all of them. Maybe half or maybe not even half. Maybe 1 in 10. Now, if a bunch from the ones who didn't appeal to you enough for you to start a conversation with were to walk up to you one by one throughout the night, and you weren't interested, it wouldn't be because of a hang-up about women approaching you. It would be because you simply didn't find them appealing, right?
Yes CD, I am making another thread trying to make sense of my poor dating life. Sigh.
Now I've been one of the biggest talkers on this forum about how unfairly slanted the dating game is towards the men having to make most of the effort. One area I've discussed at length is about how the man typically ends up having to show interest to get anything going. I've always thought it would be nice to have a woman show interest in me and I thought I'd be turned on by someone who went after what they want.
Well in the last couple of years, I've had 4-5 girls show and initiate considerable interest in me and have even asked me out. All of them have been either straight up rejections from me or I've gone out on one date and wished I didn't waste my time. They have not been women I've had a concrete physical attraction to. So that plays into it. Maybe it is the fact that I've not been the one to put in the work to chase.
Can anyone give their opinion of why I've had this hangup about being asked out?
The same reason that good investment opportunities are not advertised on TV or in the mail. The same reason that playoff tickets sell out - demand > supply.
Get off your AXX and go seek what you like - you appreciate it more when you have to work for it.
I don't know Diss, but you have this idea that women who do the asking have something inherently wrong with them, or else they wouldn't "have to" do the asking. It fascinates me because, living in DC and all, confident go-getters aren't exactly rare; the only way around that is head them off at the pass and ask first. Only you know for sure, but would you feel differently about those same women if you had approached them, or is it just because they aren't the type you would even approach? Is there something about assertive women that bothers you, like maybe you're afraid they'll boss you around and be all dominant?
Yes CD, I am making another thread trying to make sense of my poor dating life. Sigh.
Now I've been one of the biggest talkers on this forum about how unfairly slanted the dating game is towards the men having to make most of the effort. One area I've discussed at length is about how the man typically ends up having to show interest to get anything going. I've always thought it would be nice to have a woman show interest in me and I thought I'd be turned on by someone who went after what they want.
Well in the last couple of years, I've had 4-5 girls show and initiate considerable interest in me and have even asked me out. All of them have been either straight up rejections from me or I've gone out on one date and wished I didn't waste my time. They have not been women I've had a concrete physical attraction to. So that plays into it. Maybe it is the fact that I've not been the one to put in the work to chase.
Can anyone give their opinion of why I've had this hangup about being asked out?
Move to Latin America or Southeast Asia. Your problems will be solved.
If he is under 60 that is an easily avoidable issue.
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