I would like to adopt a child - OLD advice needed

[RJ312]

Originally Posted by timberline742

There were several times in my mid 30s where it sounded like the woman had everything planned, and was just looking for the groom figuring to stick on her wedding cake. I couldn't help wondering why I was there. I felt like a filler and the only reason they were out with me was because I was single, well educated, and employed. Not because they thought I was someone they really were interested in.

That is seriously messed up.

Originally Posted by JasperJade

Bad advice all around. ^^^^

There is absolutely no point in "building something" with someone only to find that you do not agree on this important. The default is "kids someday," but if one is in the minority (no kids, would rather adopt, etc.) it is best to mention this in the first few dates.

I give good advice. I presented a scenario about indifferent towards kids men and men who outright do not want kids. As far as I can tell, these two groups represent a sizable chunk of men.

The default assumption is that women want children. I believe women want kids more than men.

If a woman has a non-mainstream view on kids, it does not hamper her dating prospects. Women who do not want kids and make it known early on do not face consequences. Guys who say that may face consequences. Women who only want to adopt may get some strange stares, but no real damage. Having a kid is having a kid.

[lilyflower3191981]

Originally Posted by Flavia84

One of the things that I would love to do is adopting a child some day. Not sure about having biological kids (leaning towards not).

Should I mention this in my dating profile or is it better to save it for a face-to-face conversation?

why not just open to date single parents.

I wouldn't mention this if I were you. But it is just me. I think this type of topic can be discussed after the relationship becomes more serious. Plus, there is always a slight possibility you change your mind in the future.

[JerZ]

Although wanting or not wanting children is a critical factor in a long-term relationship, I would never have dreamed of bringing up "I want children" on a first, second, third, etc. date.

That's something for after you're exclusive with one another. I mean obviously I wouldn't have waited a year or two to bring it up either. But within the first couple of dates? That's personal information about my own, specific life choices that the person hasn't earned yet.

[Mikala43]

Plus, she is on OLD. They all have the "want children" "have children" selection. She can put "want" and discuss the specifics later.