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oh oh I was just explaining further about my feelings. I don't really enjoy talking to him as he's not the same person anymore, so it's weird. The things he tries to tell me is just confusing and messes with my mind.
oh oh I was just explaining further about my feelings. I don't really enjoy talking to him as he's not the same person anymore, so it's weird. The things he tries to tell me is just confusing and messes with my mind.
Yet still you haven't blocked him from contacting you, even though you know it's not good for you.
I was with my boyfriend for 3 years, and our relationship ended about 3 months ago.
The reason our relationship ended is well...he started becoming more 'close' with another woman who was a mutual friend of ours. Within about a month of this, he ultimately ended our relationship in order to be with her. I knew about their friendship and had no issues with it, but I did not know they were falling in love. They started their relationship only a week after we broke up.
I was so crushed, and felt so betrayed by both of them. My boyfriend gave me multiple excuses as to why he did not want to be with me, and the whole situation was very heart wrenching, and very confusing. It all happened so fast I didn't really understand anything, so I just let them go live their new life together and that was that. I was of course very mad and hurt, but did not speak to them ever again.
I have been trying to heal and work on myself, but it's been hard. This has all been very overwhelming to say the least.
Last night, I received a text message from my ex boyfriend, (again, this is 3 months after our breakup). my heart sank. He just simply said "hey was wondering how you're doing hope you're ok.."
We got to talking a little (the conversation was obviously negative and a little bickering back and forth about what happened between us, but nothing crazy)
The point of this conversation he started is he wants me to continue to be in his life and still have a friendship.
He told me he still misses me and cries sometimes over me, that he never meant to hurt me but just loved this other woman more than me, but that he still cares a lot about me and always will, etc.
I was shocked that he expected me to be his friend again after everything that happened...Mind you, I feel that he cheated on me with the woman he left me for, because they started a deep emotional bond.
I told him as nice as I could, that basically I'm not interested in a friendship and that I can't understand how he could want me to be friends with the man whose in a relationship with the woman he left me for out of nowhere.
I mean come on now, I'm still in the process of healing and meanwhile he immediately got together with the woman he hurt me with, and is mad at me now because I don't want to be friends?
He left our relationship to be with her...he says he's in love with her but still loves me and I guess he just doesn't know what he wants. But I don't want to be apart of this drama honestly.
The sad part is I really do think he still cares about me. I probably sound crazy but this whole situation really confuses me and I'm so upset and just...lost. I don't get it.
Can you guys help me understand what's going on here? I really can't think straight.
The only thing going on is you are allowing him to control part of your life. Do not answer him, block all access he has to you, move on.
Thank you to everyone for your advice, it helped me a lot. I really do appreciate it. Sorry if I sound nutty or dumb...but this has all really messed with my head, badly.
It was so hard to not reply to his text message, because I wanted to remind him of every little thing he did that hurt him. I wanted to get it through his head that he hurt me. I wanted to 'defend' myself, for lack of a better word.
I know what he did was wrong, but in some twisted way he tries to convince me he did the 'right' thing. He swears up and down he did not leave me for her...I'm serious. He says he did not plan to get with her when he ended things with me...but he started dating her a week later. He says he's sorry and cries over me and feels guilty...so he feels guilty that's why he jumped into a relationship with her? Man I really just don't get it.
The way he words things, and expresses himself, is very convincing. The sad part is I still believe some of the things he tells me. I know I sound dumb because of this, but I just don't know what to believe and not to believe.
Its OK. Keep in contact and keep believing the crap he's telling you. But rest assured, there's more tears and heartache to come. You will learn the hard way. And at the end of all this, you'll be much worse than you are now.
To be completely honest (seriously) I was not going to reply to his text in the first place. Again, because I saw no point. But being not very smart like usual, I just had to start giving him a piece of my mind. It's my fault too for letting to go on.
But I already blocked his number a while ago, and told him I was doing so. So no I'm not contacting him or letting him contact me. He has no way of contacting me anymore.
To be completely honest (seriously) I was not going to reply to his text in the first place. Again, because I saw no point. But being not very smart like usual, I just had to start giving him a piece of my mind. It's my fault too for letting to go on.
But I already blocked his number a while ago, and told him I was doing so. So no I'm not contacting him or letting him contact me. He has no way of contacting me anymore.
I honestly think this is the only way you will find peace and be able to fully heal from the mess he left you with.
Having that chance of contact still available is like picking a scab. It just doesn't do any good.
It's a shame that stuff like this happens, but it's a positive that you recognize how you are in charge of who is allowed to come into your space like that.
Thank you to everyone for your advice, it helped me a lot. I really do appreciate it. Sorry if I sound nutty or dumb...but this has all really messed with my head, badly.
It was so hard to not reply to his text message, because I wanted to remind him of every little thing he did that hurt him. I wanted to get it through his head that he hurt me. I wanted to 'defend' myself, for lack of a better word.
I know what he did was wrong, but in some twisted way he tries to convince me he did the 'right' thing. He swears up and down he did not leave me for her...I'm serious. He says he did not plan to get with her when he ended things with me...but he started dating her a week later. He says he's sorry and cries over me and feels guilty...so he feels guilty that's why he jumped into a relationship with her? Man I really just don't get it.
The way he words things, and expresses himself, is very convincing. The sad part is I still believe some of the things he tells me. I know I sound dumb because of this, but I just don't know what to believe and not to believe.
Not nutty or dumb at all. Like I said, I was in about the exact same situation and did just what you did. I'm not going to lie and say it gets easier right away. It does take time. That anger does last awhile. I took my ex's bait too. His mistress is still harassing me (long story), but now I don't miss him in the slightest. I had thought he was a good boyfriend, too, but now I see everything clearly. I bet your boyfriend cheated on you with other girls you don't know about as well. He's a bad dude. He may be roommates with my ex when they all go to Hell, you never know.
Blocking will feel really good for you, and eventually, you won't even think about it. I keep being redundant, but just letting you know you aren't alone in having this happen, and your reactions are totally normal. Stay strong and don't let those pieces of human waste have power over you.
Not nutty or dumb at all. Like I said, I was in about the exact same situation and did just what you did. I'm not going to lie and say it gets easier right away. It does take time. That anger does last awhile. I took my ex's bait too. His mistress is still harassing me (long story), but now I don't miss him in the slightest. I had thought he was a good boyfriend, too, but now I see everything clearly. I bet your boyfriend cheated on you with other girls you don't know about as well. He's a bad dude. He may be roommates with my ex when they all go to Hell, you never know.
Blocking will feel really good for you, and eventually, you won't even think about it. I keep being redundant, but just letting you know you aren't alone in having this happen, and your reactions are totally normal. Stay strong and don't let those pieces of human waste have power over you.
Thank you it's glad to know I'm not alone with this type of situation. It's not something that has ever happened to me before.
I was told today that 'our relationship wasn't working out anymore and that he wasn't happy, and he didn't mean to fall in love with someone else'
News to me, he acted like everything was fine until it all came crashing down out of nowhere. It was going good until he started talking to his new girlfriend...hmm. He of course denies everything though. In his mind he's in the right, in my mind I'm in the right and he's wrong. That's just bound to happen after a break up though.
Also, how does someone 'not mean' to fall in love with someone else? Surely you can prevent that from happening...lol. Piece of work he is.
He honestly wasn't like this during our relationship, which is another reason it's hard to accept what he did. I still think of him as the nice romantic guy I was in love with and spent all of my time with. I can't get it through my head yet that he changed.
Sorry you went through something like this too by the way! Can I ask how long it took you to finally start being ok?
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