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I am currently dating a very kind, smart and loving man. He lives about 900 miles from me but will be back in May once he has finished his BA back home, we have decided to stay together although long distance can be hard at times. Let me give a quick back story and then proceed to the current situation I find myself in.
Before I met him, I had just broken up with my boyfriend of four years ( my first love and everything ). We had a wonderful love and the reason i left was because earlier in the year we went on a break and i slept with someone else. I felt terrible for doing that to him and even though he had let it go I couldn't stand thinking about it. He was truly good to me.
When I met my current boyfriend I was ecstatic, I kept telling myself that it was okay and that I was truly moving on from my ex (although it had only been one month). We were together for a short while before he flew away back home and I visited him twice before I started my semester at college. We love each other and are so good when we are together.
My ex and I started talking again right when I got with my current boyfriend. It was only as friends and we were so happy to be talking as friends. I went to visit him and we laughed and cried and just hung out like friends, but it always did feel a little funny.
The last time my ex and I hung out he told me he was seeing someone, i felt sick...i mean it wasn't right to feel that way, i should be happy for him, but i couldn't fathom the idea of him loving another girl.
That brought me to a realization that I'm not actually over my ex, I accept that i do still love him and he says he still loves me as well.
back to the future.
My ex and I are texting and calling and repeatedly telling one another how we miss one another. We talk about getting back together.
My current is so good to me and sweet, but my ex is just as good to me and also more responsible in certain aspects.
I'm feeling unclear about what route to take. I feel as if I never healed properly but i felt so strongly towards my new boyfriend that I accepted the weirdness of just being out of a serious relationship and fell in love with him.
Many people say that going back to your ex is a bad thing, but there are only two real routes with an ex, it could be that we just needed a break or we really aren't meant to be together and we will break up again.
I love both men, but can't make a final situation.
I would love to hear about certain situations or opinions or advice. I can answer questions to.
thank you
Uncertainty doesn't exactly bode well for the men you are involving.
While I understand you are following your own desires...stop and think about the people you are involving along the way.
At the very least make me aware of the situation they are getting themsleves involved with.
If you actually loved these men the way you claim to, you wouldn't allow things to get this far with them still in the dark
I wish you kids would stop confusing infatuation with love. I hope it won't take you the rest of your life and many broken relationships to finally figure out that infatuation and love are not the same.
Yeah I agree you certainly don't love your currant BF, you probably do love your ex in some capacity which explains why you haven't fully let him go and this new boyfriend is only a place holder so you wouldn't be alone. However you really don't love him but you appreciate he enables you to not be alone even though your desire is to be with you ex.
Break up with your BF and explore things with your ex, its the only way you're going to know once and for all what the future holds for you as it's very selfish to have your current BF caught up in this when he deserves to be with someone who desires him only. Thinking about an ex is normal but to desire them and be happy to be back in their life when you're already in a new relationship is not good. Do the right thing by the new guy and let him go.
Odds are neither relationship will work out. Best idea is to break things off with your BF now, so he has a chance to date other women while he's still in college. You shouldn't string him along while you're having an emotional affair with your ex.
Certainly break up with the new guy. You don't love him. You rebounded onto him and convinced yourself it was more. Like Intentions said, you're infatuated with him. As for your ex, you were good together but you hurt him by cheating on him and left. I think you need to take time for self-reflection (meaning you need to be single) and find out why you cheated and make sure never to do that to anyone again. Seems like all your focus is on these guys and not on yourself and you are the one at the center of this problem.
Two words: GROW UP!
You cheated on your ex, then broke up with him, and now you're seeing another guy...AND UPSET ABOUT YOUR EX WITH SOMEONE ELSE????
Honestly, what is wrong with you???
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