How much harder does starting a family get if you are still single (male) into your 30's (woman, attracted)
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I'm on the verge of 35 and i feel your paid OP. Most women in my area already have children by 30 years of age if they want them at all.
So any idea of family would be me getting 'adopted in' so to speak to an already existing one. The kids have to have the approval as well as the lady you're courting. You'll have the exes and rotating weekends and so forth to deal with. Many have trust issues as they've already gone through the gauntlet of a bad experience once and are on the defensive.
It can be very difficult to meet a lady to start a family with in your mid thirties. At 30 years of age you should be fine, but if I were in your shoes I would be actively dating a slew of eligible women.You live in the city so you have more to choose from.
Keep in mind that a majority of today's women aren't looking for the provider type. A good job is required if you want to attract a good women but it has nothing to do with you being the breadwinner with them primarily taking a child rearing role. I'm old school like that but finding a lady like that is a rare breed in today's society.
So any hope for having a family is going by the wayside now for me. It's kind of disappointing but I've just been embracing being single and look at the positives of it all.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
Did you actually read what she wrote?
Yes and I offered her a rebuttal of why someone would think that if they don't date by age 30 why they would think they are doomed, which you perfectly illustrated.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter
Yes and I offered her a rebuttal of why someone would think that if they don't date by age 30 why they would think they are doomed, which you perfectly illustrated.
She didn't say anything about not having had a date or relationship by 30. That isn't what she said. Read what she actually said, not what you want to read.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
She didn't say anything about not having had a date or relationship by 30. That isn't what she said. Read what she actually said, not what you want to read.
I think YOU misread what she said and are using it as an excuse to talk down to me, again.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,995,252 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter
I think YOU misread what she said and are using it as an excuse to talk down to me, again.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
Why would it be hard for a guy to find a relationship and start a family in his 30's? Is there some sell-by date I wasn't aware of? Men and women pair off, get married, and have kids in their 30's all the time. Some do in their 40's. Why are so many people hung up on numbers? The 30's are the best time, IMO, because that's when people have matured to the point that they know themselves well and know what they want and what's best for them. Generally speaking.
Try again. Nothing in her statement says anything about never having had a date or any type of relationship pre 30s.
She's speaking to, correctly by the way, that its not too late, and indeed common, for people to find relationships and start families in their 30s, or even 40s.
It is easy to find relationships in one's 30s. That is true. Of course, if they've never dated at all pre 30, then there is probably something going on. There are some people with legit reasons, as in they were consumed with school and getting their MD/Ph.D. and they didn't want any distractions (though that's a bit specious too), but for the most part? Nah. Something is up. It's HARD to avoid dating/sex/relationships that long.
My husband met me when he was 40. I was 35. We'd both been in long-term relationships, never married, no kids (but wanted both). We're now married with a kid. Relax.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,763,058 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
Try again. Nothing in her statement says anything about never having had a date or any type of relationship pre 30s.
She's speaking to, correctly by the way, that its not too late, and indeed common, for people to find relationships and start families in their 30s, or even 40s.
It is easy to find relationships in one's 30s. That is true. Of course, if they've never dated at all pre 30, then there is probably something going on. There are some people with legit reasons, as in they were consumed with school and getting their MD/Ph.D. and they didn't want any distractions (though that's a bit specious too), but for the most part? Nah. Something is up. It's HARD to avoid dating/sex/relationships that long.
See this is the attitude I'm talking about. People treat me like I'm a loser because I have not had a relationship in my life. I've tried my a&@ off to have one but it has just not worked out. I refuse to believe that I'm ready for the damn looney bin because of my lack of luck in dating.
Really depends on your restrictions. Are you looking for a blond, blue eyed 10, with no kids and no prior marriages? Or do you have more realistic ideas?
For me it has been awful in my older years because guys seem to want no prior marriage, no kids and women that want more kids. None of that fits me.
It is unrealistic for anyone to date someone older not expecting that person to not have a prior marriage/kids etc. There are older people out there like that but not many.
So if you meet a guy and they tell you that, then it's their loss.
OP it is generally advisable for a woman to have kids before her 40's due to possible complications (case by case basis) but not impossible.
So if you're just turning 30, relax. When you date, pick your age range from 25-37 I would say. If they are healthy, you should be good.
I said 25 because it seems 'reasonable' that you still have something common with an average 25 yr old woman. There are however many young moms out there who are divorced and still in their early to mid 20's.
So there are a lot of options, don't sweat it.
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loser because I have not had a relationship in my life. I've tried my a&@ off to have one but it has just not worked out. I refuse to believe that I'm ready for the damn looney bin because of my lack of luck in dating.
