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Maybe someone found a prisoner with Emotional Intelligence, EQ, a person who maybe committed a crime but can manage their emotions effectively and positively enough to have a successful relationship.
That is a rarity, not impossible but a rarity.
In the spirit of the OP's question. Anybody could have a relationship no matter how screwed-up someone is there is someone out there of the opposite sex who is just as screwed up. (Assuming that you are heterosexual)
Now to have a successful relationship one must work on there issues but just to have a relationship in general there are certainly many screwed up people who manage to find someone even for a short time. Contrary to what you hear on C-D.
Yeah, the problem is is that too many people are swinging for the fences.
Are they though? That's a popular saying, but I've seen plenty of people (including me) who are not swinging for the fences. There is a guy that I have been flirting back and forth with for about six months. We have hung out in causal setting with other people. the chemistry is there, heavy flirting. He's single no kids. I'm single no kids. Our friends want us to get together..they love the match. I like him a LOT. He says he feels the same way.
But, we work at the same job. Not 'together'. We don't even work on the same shift. BUT..he says he doesn't like dating where he works. Which I generally agree with. But then I feel a good person is where u find them. so, I wont pass up a person because of that. He just sees some of the stupid things other people who are dating do, and says he doesn't like the drama. I can agree, but those people bring that on themselves.
I'm nothing like that. Part of me feels if he liked me ENOUGH, he would. I'm decent enough looking. And I get my fair share of compliments. and he tells me I'm cute. But I'm not supermodel pretty like some other women at my job. Part of me feels if I was hotter looking he would take the chance. Because personality wise I know we are on the same page there. But then neither is HE the best looking guy working there either. Not by far. I think he is cute enough, and I love his personality. But he is not a 10 either.
So, I'm not swinging for the fence, and we seem like a perfect match. But yet, there is always SOMETHING that has to come up for me. Yea, he tells me I'm a great person, yet he wont take a chance with me. Sometimes I feel there is NOT someone for everyone. I just cant catch a break. And I don't think I'm being picky.
I'm going to have to disagree with the bolded. No matter how politically correct we all try to be. no matter how much we all might want to believe that..LOOKS ARE NEVER SECONDARY. Nope.
Looks are the MAIN thing that matters, and will be the MAIN thing a person notices about you. Why do people deny this? Now, this does not mean that people who aren't 9's or 10's don't get dates. They do. But it is much..much easier for good looking people. think of the really good looking people you know, and all the offers they get, and opportunities they have for dating if they wanted them.
I remember a friend of mine one time sighing heavily and talking about how she cant even go into a grocery store without getting hit on, or pulling up to a red light and having some guy whistle at her. (poor thing) Yeah okay, I don't have that problem. So, the only reason a hot person wont be dating is if *THEY* have some issue (like extreme shyness, etc)
Now, some people with less looks can get a decent number of opportunities if they have something else going for them. This guy I know is a cutie. Young guy. A cutie, but he is on the shorter side, skinny, and starting to get a bit thin on top even though he is only in his late 20's.
However, dude has personality, attitude and swag for days. Skinny little white guy, but he could swagger into a Rap concert in the middle of Watts California and act like he owned the place. LOL And he can make women LAUGH..which is ALWAYS a plus! Even he admits to me that he has to work for it. He admits that its harder not being 6 foot 2", 220 pounds of muscle with a full head of hair. But, he has the gift of gab, and can make women laugh. He is lucky. Everybody cant pull that off like he can. He can make women overlook what some might think are 'shortcomings'. But, reality is, not everyone has that personality like him. And not that they are weird or something. They just aren't over the top like he is.
I definitely think looks is the main thing that gets you in the door. And your personality is what keep you there. BUT..BUT..i have even seen people (admittedly)put up with crap from a really hot person they were dating LONGER than they would from someone else just because the person was hot.
I'm not even talking about marriage or falling in love. Rather, I am just asking whether or not there is someone somewhere that would be willing to date Individual x regardless of all Individual x's flaws.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SummerFall
I'm going to have to disagree with the bolded. No matter how politically correct we all try to be. no matter how much we all might want to believe that..LOOKS ARE NEVER SECONDARY. Nope.
Looks are the MAIN thing that matters, and will be the MAIN thing a person notices about you. Why do people deny this? Now, this does not mean that people who aren't 9's or 10's don't get dates. They do. But it is much..much easier for good looking people. think of the really good looking people you know, and all the offers they get, and opportunities they have for dating if they wanted them.
I remember a friend of mine one time sighing heavily and talking about how she cant even go into a grocery store without getting hit on, or pulling up to a red light and having some guy whistle at her. (poor thing) Yeah okay, I don't have that problem. So, the only reason a hot person wont be dating is if *THEY* have some issue (like extreme shyness, etc)
Now, some people with less looks can get a decent number of opportunities if they have something else going for them. This guy I know is a cutie. Young guy. A cutie, but he is on the shorter side, skinny, and starting to get a bit thin on top even though he is only in his late 20's.
However, dude has personality, attitude and swag for days. Skinny little white guy, but he could swagger into a Rap concert in the middle of Watts California and act like he owned the place. LOL And he can make women LAUGH..which is ALWAYS a plus! Even he admits to me that he has to work for it. He admits that its harder not being 6 foot 2", 220 pounds of muscle with a full head of hair. But, he has the gift of gab, and can make women laugh. He is lucky. Everybody cant pull that off like he can. He can make women overlook what some might think are 'shortcomings'. But, reality is, not everyone has that personality like him. And not that they are weird or something. They just aren't over the top like he is.
I definitely think looks is the main thing that gets you in the door. And your personality is what keep you there. BUT..BUT..i have even seen people (admittedly)put up with crap from a really hot person they were dating LONGER than they would from someone else just because the person was hot.
I've been trying to tell people on this forum for five damn years. Your looks matter and if you got the short end of the stick in that category, you ain't gonna have as many opportunities with people you'd actually want to date.
I've said that too, that looks are always first. After that it's who you are and what you offer, all secondary.
That will never change. It will spell the end of dating and relationship lives for some people-possibly and probably myself-and it will always be easy and simple for even the average and above people.
Hell you can even be dumb when it comes to social interactions and you'll still get women. Any person who says looks are secondary are being nice.
Of course I agree looks are important, but there's an initial attraction and an actual attraction.......
Some might be put off by something at first sight and then the next few times they see them they notice more and begin to feel attracted to them....
It could be more flattering clothes, hair style, etc etc... It's not in all cases of course I'm that naive or stupid to think that but it does happen more often than not
Of course I agree looks are important, but there's an initial attraction and an actual attraction.......
Some might be put off by something at first sight and then the next few times they see them they notice more and begin to feel attracted to them....
It could be more flattering clothes, hair style, etc etc... It's not in all cases of course I'm that naive or stupid to think that but it does happen more often than not
This is based solely on the looks part of it.
Before my eye surgery, it didn't matter what I wore, how I wore my hair, etc.
People would literally grimace and then totally ignore me. And when they saw me again it was the same thing.
Before my eye surgery, it didn't matter what I wore, how I wore my hair, etc.
People would literally grimace and then totally ignore me. And when they saw me again it was the same thing.
So no, this is not true - or it wasn't for me.
Like I said not in ALL cases
I'm truly sorry this has not been the case with you I really am, but surely you can see it happening with others? Or have seen it?.
Ive done it a good few times and its happened to me a plenty as well........ I've not noticed someone before until I saw them all dressed up and looked a million dollars. And for me I've been filthy from work, had the flu for example and women haven't given me a second look..... Until they saw me " normal "
These are just a few examples and just based on looks however as I'm sure you well know there are other things about a person that attracts as well
No matter how politically correct we all try to be. no matter how much we all might want to believe that..LOOKS ARE NEVER SECONDARY. Nope.
Looks are the MAIN thing that matters, and will be the MAIN thing a person notices about you.
Yes, indeed. You'll get more return on investment in the dating world if you improve your looks than if you improve your "personality" (whatever that means). Of course, there comes a point where you've maximized what you can control about your looks, and that's when you'll get better r.o.i. from simply playing the numbers game -- putting yourself out there and interacting more with the opposite sex.
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