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So I am a male, 21 and about 4 weeks ago I met a girl on Instagram that went to the same college as myself. I never see her on campus, therefore I got her number on there. I took her out on a date and she told me she had a great time. She showed attraction towards me and everything. A few days later, I texted her saying that after spring break (we were both going to florida) we should go out again. She said she'd love to and I told her I would call her when we get back. Over spring break, she texted me once, and sent me a few snapchats. I kept the conversation to a great minimum because I did not want to kill the attraction.
When we got back from Florida, I called her and took her out on a date. We went out on a Friday night to dinner, get dessert, and back to my house for drinks and a movie. I never did make a physical move to kiss her (or try to have sex) because I did not want her to think I wanted her for sex. Instead, I put my arm around her and watched the movie. Dropped her off and she told me again she had a great time. She showed high level of attraction.
The next day I called her, she did not answer. I then texted her a few days later and said "Hey haven't heard from you in a while, wanted to know a day you were free to go out." She replied "sorry I forgot to call back lol but Ill let you know very soon!" I said okay. Its been about a week and I still have not heard from her. My she views my snapchat stories, so I know she sees some of the things I have been doing.
Basically I was wondering if you were in my position, would you walk away and continue to wait and see if she contacts me or text/call her again? I do not want to come off as needy, but I really would like to see her again. Clearly she has been on my mind.
Also, if she did lose interest, why do you think this is? Especially after she told me she had a great time?
I would ask her to set a date up and make something offical as far as timelines go.
If she didn't get back to me or couldn't make time, I wouldn't be waiting around for her.
You have a life to live just as much as she has hers.
Also, if she did lose interest, why do you think this is? Especially after she told me she had a great time?
Nobody knows for sure but her, and I don't even want to speculate.
I wouldn't want to be stuck in limbo, so I'd go about my dating life, and if she happens to contact me later (depending how it felt/whats happening at the moment) I'd go from there.
There are 1 million reasons why she may not be getting back to you.
I will tell you this though, texting her during spring break would not have killed the attraction unless you were totally obnoxious about it. If anything,texting the right amount in the right way could have increased your connection with her. Also, by not kissing her you may have sent a message that you were not that attracted to her. Going for a kiss in a respectful manner does not send the message that you are only looking for sex.
I'm 21 too male and single, I would have kissed her and cuddled with her afterwards and not come here and wonder what would I have done, because I would have already done what I did and the relationship would have started and begun from there. No need to be shy just do it.
Last edited by Rockstar21; 03-29-2016 at 05:17 PM..
Wanting to go out with someone is not "being needy."
You like her. Nothing wrong with that. Own it. Ask her out for a specific day with specific plans. If she declines or gives you a vague answer again, then let it go.
No need to wait around for a flake to make up her mind.
I feel like she may have felt that I did not show interest in her because I never did really text her to talk because I like to talk to people on dates. Not only that, because I did not go for the kiss after the second one. SO maybe she felt like I did not have feelings for her and took the easy way out before developing stronger feelings. Like I said, I did feel like she showed high interest in me during the date and she even talked about going out on a double date with one of her friends.
If your last message to her was a simple "okay" and you haven't communicated with her since, she may think you aren't really that interested in her. The only one who knows for sure what she's thinking and feeling is her. Normally, I'd say if you haven't heard from her after a week, she's likely not interested. But if the last message between you was one that didn't really leave room to further conversation, I'd say give it one more chance.
You're over thinking this, she's probably talking with 5 other guys. Also, when a girl comes to your place for a movie at night you should take it as far as she'll let you. She might just be in it for fun.
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