Why do some men only offer you what you want when it's too late?? (boyfriend, love)
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I don't know if this is just me or what, but it seems that in many relationships, I've spent copious amounts of time and energy telling my SO what I need in order to feel safe and happy - and then he doesn't do it. After a while, I make myself care less and less until I finally leave. At that point, they want to offer me the world, including everything they were deliberately withholding up to then! I don't get it. Why do men who supposedly "love" me ignore my requests until the last second when they're suddenly afraid of losing me? Sorry, I've already got one foot out the door by then! Has anyone else experienced this?
Because they don't love you if they do that. If they loved you, they'd care what you think and want along the way. The situation you describe is when they need you, not when they love you.
IMHO a relationship is not a non stop compliance plan.
my function in life is not to orbit around somebody else.
i am not responsible for some else's happiness.
I don't know, but my boyfriend did the same thing. Guess the saying "you don't realize what you have till it's gone" is somewhat true..lol. It is quite annoying though. It's like..how many times do I have to say this to you, yet, when I give up on you, NOW you want to act right...?
I am going through that right now.
After many many months of saying that I'm not happy, and explaining why, I've finally just about had it. Now he is a "changed man," but I'm not sure my heart is in this anymore.
I don't think they really change at the end though...I think they say they have or will, but once they know you aren't going anywhere, they go back to how they were. It's unfair...either change, or say you won't/can't...be honest in what you are willing and able to do.
I don't know if this is just me or what, but it seems that in many relationships, I've spent copious amounts of time and energy telling my SO what I need in order to feel safe and happy - and then he doesn't do it. After a while, I make myself care less and less until I finally leave. At that point, they want to offer me the world, including everything they were deliberately withholding up to then! I don't get it. Why do men who supposedly "love" me ignore my requests until the last second when they're suddenly afraid of losing me? Sorry, I've already got one foot out the door by then! Has anyone else experienced this?
First of all, you should ask yourself why you 'need' someone else to make you feel safe and happy. Granted, no one should ever be made to feel unsafe, physically, in a relationship, but the only one responsible for your happiness is you, no one else. That's just too much of a burden to lay on anyone.
First of all, you should ask yourself why you 'need' someone else to make you feel safe and happy. Granted, no one should ever be made to feel unsafe, physically, in a relationship, but the only one responsible for your happiness is you, no one else. That's just too much of a burden to lay on anyone.
It's not about "needing" someone to make you happy. You can't be an ******* in the relationship and expect me to go "tra-la-la" I'm happy and content and everything is perfect. People are different and there is nothing wrong with expecting things out of a relationship. I'm pretty sure that before the relationship was actually going on, that he knew what kind of person she was. If he didn't think that he could do the things that were required of him, then he should have never gotten into it in the first place. And sad to say, while yes, you can make yourself happy, it IS possible for other people to make you happy too. If you don't smile and feel joy when your significant other does something for you unexpectedly, or does something romantic and silly all in the name of love for you, then I'm sorry, you're one in a million.
In the 80's-- Cinderella sang it best...."You don't know what you got, til it's gone"
on the flip side: Garth Brooks with "Unanswered Prayers"
etc.
etc.
etc.
Life is like a box of chocolates!!!!
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