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How? I'm not bad looking but whenever we go out he gets flirted with etc and I'm constantly reminded of it. His (very sweet) response when I bring it up is I don't notice it happening and I don't think I'm better looking. It's really starting to wear on me though. Thoughts from similar situations?
My wife and I have similar issue
I get flirted with/hit on right in front of her...I don't cheat, and I never give her a reason to suspect me...when some bar bimbo flirts, I am polite but I don't ignore my wife or give her any reason to be jealous
this is about how HE reacts to the flirting...you cant control the actual flirting...if you don't like how HE reacts to it, then a talk is in order
How? I'm not bad looking but whenever we go out he gets flirted with etc and I'm constantly reminded of it. His (very sweet) response when I bring it up is I don't notice it happening and I don't think I'm better looking. It's really starting to wear on me though. Thoughts from similar situations?
That's funny cause you ladies see that stuff and we don't.
I was told one time, "that waitress keeps checking you out!"
"Just because she walks by a lot means nothing." I say. Lol!
How? I'm not bad looking but whenever we go out he gets flirted with etc and I'm constantly reminded of it. His (very sweet) response when I bring it up is I don't notice it happening and I don't think I'm better looking. It's really starting to wear on me though. Thoughts from similar situations?
It is your issue alone and obviously your boyfriend doesn't notice or flirst back. Insecurity, jealously and being possessive kills more relationships than financial issues in my opinion.
I agree that the issue is the OPs alone; the result of insecurities. However, I think she shouldn't have to deal with it alone. Certainly him dismissing it with "I didn't notice and I don't think I'm better looking" is not helping. Perceptions have a great impact on a person and their relationships; regardless if their perceptions are accurate or misguided. A supportive and reassurance approach would help. Also realize that it human nature is involved here and nothing is going to change it; you can only change how you react/perceive.
I'll re-iterate a very good question already asked. How are you reminded of it?
Previous GF of mine was way more attractive than I. For us, we were very open about our sexuality; we talked about it freely. I think for us, that helped keep both of us feeling secured about each other; that we can comment about others but in the end of the night, we were going home and being very affectionate with each other. I'm not sure if that helps in general though...
OP, you mentioned that your family didn't show much affection with each other.... Of course, its probably too personal/complex to address here but could there be more to your childhood that feeding this perception? This is something that I hope you feel comfortable talking to you boyfriend about; maybe he will understand your feelings more.
This is why I feel less attractive people shouldn't date someone attractive because insecurities begin to set in. Once you become insecure the path towards a break up has begun. A woman I tried dating was too attractive for me once and due to me not trusting her we stopped seeing one another. Insecurity is a turn off.
I had a friend ,that was an excellent person and not a cheater, and hard worker. that was married to a woman the had trust issues, and she would constantly call work,(before cell phones) to ask what he is doing, this got him fired job after job .
Eventually they got divorced.
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