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OP hasn't come back to answer any of the questions about the details of the prenup. My guess is that he is busy doing google searches on the basics of these arrangements, which he had not bothered to do before posting.
It also sounds to me that there is no genuine love in the situation described.
Really. Not like there wasn't a hot thread about pre-nups earlier this week on this very forum.
I think I would worry more about the spending habits, than the prenup. How old is she? Why is this woman living paycheck to paycheck? I mean, is that it for her? Is she looking to find a better paying job? Or is she spending so much money she's just left with just $50 on her bank?
Let's just say she signs the prenup. Then what? Are you always going to say, "this is mine and this is yours"? Would you want to live someone for the rest of your life with that kind of financial lifestyle?
I think people make way too big a deal out of a pre nup. My husband and I both signed them, for different reasons. And neither one of us was throwing up about it. Having kids should have nothing to do with this, if you split up it wouldn't affect child support etc. It's protecting your assets, should something happen down the road, that is all. I wouldn't marry her. Sounds like a lot of drama, throwing up, saying won't have kids, etc etc. I have quite a few men friends who have been taken to the cleaners in a divorce. Everyone says that would never be them, that they would always be reasonable, but that is so not the case a lot of the time.
IDK. Marriage is a big step and I certainly agree with protecting pre marital assets, especially if it is a second marriage and their are kids from previous marriages but for a first marriage and a guy is already hesitant about who has more money and not wanting to share a house we don't even have yet well I'd be hesitant about sharing children with him. The mentality of I have been able to save $$ for a house while you have not, I make more $$ than you, I paid for this, therefore this is mine, and that is mine, is not the attitude of someone I would want to raise children with.
We are not technically not married yet but we have talked about getting married often. I was going to propose to her this weekend actually, and she new it, cause I hinted that I was going to, rather obviously. But she brought up whether or not I would ask for a pre-nup if we got married. I considered it on my own, and was going to bring it up later on in the engagement, but she brought it now.
She became very upset and started throwing up even when I said yes, I wanted one. She said that if she were to marry me with a pre-nup signed, she would not have children with me cause there is no way she would bring children into that type of marriage.
I talked about it with my closest woman friend and she said that if she were in my gf's position, she would not sign one, because if a man asks a woman to sign one, it shows me has questionable intentions.
Was this a jerk move on my part? It's just my gf doesn't have any money hardly. She lives from paycheck to paycheck and has 50 dollars only in her bank account right now. Where as I have enough money to buy a house, which I am looking for right now. So with this current situation, I thought it would be best to say yes to one, just in case.
Is that wrong or negative of me? She says I have till next month to withdraw the pre-nup request, or she will break up with me, cause it's not worth continuing therefore. Or if she marries me, she will definitely not have kids, she says as a result of it. What do you think?
Protect your assets or they will be gone.
Why are you with somebody who can't handle their finances? Are you sure you want to marry her?
IDK. Marriage is a big step and I certainly agree with protecting pre marital assets, especially if it is a second marriage and their are kids from previous marriages but for a first marriage and a guy is already hesitant about who has more money and not wanting to share a house we don't even have yet well I'd be hesitant about sharing children with him. The mentality of I have been able to save $$ for a house while you have not, I make more $$ than you, I paid for this, therefore this is mine, and that is mine, is not the attitude of someone I would want to raise children with.
Can't rep you right now, but this.
Hate to break it to the OP, but unless the house he's talking about is worth at least a couple mill, he's got nothing to protect. $250K house, or even $500K house, in the typical American suburb isn't going to have Robin Leach knocking on his door to interview him for Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.
Let's just say she signs the prenup. Then what? Are you always going to say, "this is mine and this is yours"? Would you want to live someone for the rest of your life with that kind of financial lifestyle?
No need to because that is the purpose of a pre-nup - to specify it beforehand.
Why are you with somebody who can't handle their finances? Are you sure you want to marry her?
Because people who don't make a lot of money are not worth marrying? I agree with you on a lot of things, but this just seems presumptuous. He doesn't say how old they are or what she does for a living. Big difference between if she's a Millennial with student debt and a 35-year-old attorney.
Perhaps the question is whether she wants to marry someone for whom money is obviously the top priority, such that he's worried about a house he hasn't even bought yet.
Just because you have 150K and she has zippo does not mean you need a prenup. If everything goes sour the most she would be entitled to is 50% of income during the time you are married and that is only fair.
That's how it should be but that's not always how it often turns out to be and the whole point of a pre-nup is ensuring that it turns out this way.
That's how it should be but that's not always how it often turns out to be and the whole point of a pre-nup is ensuring that it turns out this way.
$150K is not a lot of money these days. But OP has not discussed his financial worth. Put it to you this way, if he has to finance the house instead of buying it outright, he has nothing to protect.
Any woman who refuses to sign a prenup is basically saying they expect not to have to earn their own keep.
It really depends on the circumstances and what is detailed in the prenup.
So any man who refuses to sign a prenup is basically saying he expects not to have to earn his keep?
If I married again, I would have him sign a prenup to ensure my kids get my property (premarital assets) in the event of divorce. It has nothing to do with earning an income.
Now that you mention it, at my age I would include a clause stating if he were to become disabled or stop working I would not be obligated to pay spousal support and could dissolve the marriage within so many months of non financial contribution or the equivalent.
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