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I said 4 years ago and it's still true today. The relationship board polarization is primarily an age and status thing more so than a gender man vs women thing. Older Married people in their 40's and 50's vs single college aged people in their 20's.
What is up with the word "rejecting"? Everyone uses it. It has such a negative and pejorative implication. There is nothing rejectful (yes, I made up a word) about not sharing someone else' interest. It implies that acceptance should be the default position and that to "reject" is bad and must be explained by some seriously bad reasons.
No it doesn't imply anything other then one's desires not being met. If you went for a job that you wanted and didn't get it you got rejected. Does it mean you were owed that job? No but did it still hurt that you didn't get selected? At least for the moment yes. Why sugarcoat it?
You don't want to accept... A person is able to become attractive and admired during character. Association feed.
People are free to be alone, it does not hurt anyone else than those people who would wish Megan Fox to call them next day... If wants to wait till is kicked under 6 feet it is free choice
Enjoy your 80 years bullying "ugly women" that is way to live, lol Meanwhile those "ugly women" are having families and happy years with those who can see, appreciate and are attracted on their good sides.
No it doesn't imply anything other then one's desires not being met. If you went for a job that you wanted and didn't get it you got rejected. Does it mean you were owed that job?
I have never been rejected for a job. I have only ever failed to receive offers for them.
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No but did it still hurt that you didn't get selected? At least for the moment yes. Why sugarcoat it?
Hells, no, it did not "hurt". HURT to not get a job? That's REALLY SENSITIVE. Bordering in massively wimpy. My big girl panties are far to strong for that bull****.
And yes, the parallel stands as written. Getting crushed by someone not wanting to date is representative of some pretty damned thin skin. Which is likewise pretty unattractive.
I said 4 years ago and it's still true today. The relationship board polarization is primarily an age and status thing more so than a gender man vs women thing. Older Married people in their 40's and 50's vs single college aged people in their 20's.
A lot of the single Bitter Boys are in their late 20s, 30s and some 40s.
And us married folk are, what, mostly 40s, and some 50s? I'm in my early 30s.
I said 4 years ago and it's still true today. The relationship board polarization is primarily an age and status thing more so than a gender man vs women thing. Older Married people in their 40's and 50's vs single college aged people in their 20's.
I am not sure I can agree with this. My husband was comfortable in his own skin as a social being among men AND women before we met in our early 20s. And I still see men over at the marriage board I frequent much older than I still talking like some of the guys here.
I am not sure I can agree with this. My husband was comfortable in his own skin as a social being among men AND women before we met in our early 20s. And I still see men over at the marriage board I frequent much older than I still talking like some of the guys here.
What are they doing talking about the guys here? Why are the guys here so important for everyone to talk about?
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,711 posts, read 41,912,279 times
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Originally Posted by Metaphysique
Perhaps not, but your family history does. You've expressed your not-so close relationship with your mother and absent father, correct? Your mother's history with men and failed relationships.
I don't think negatively about you, Diss. (there is a sense of solidarity because I "get" it). As weird as it seems, your reservations and attitude, that can come off rather bitter, reminds me of my own mother who was bitter towards men for many years due to her upbringing (grandma had a revolving door of men, mom's step dad was abusive, absent biological father who has fathered over a dozen children), the kind of dynamic that does the exact opposite of modeling positive, healthy, relationship dynamics.
My mother has had two failed marriages. She and my father were not compatible, but as she says, she was young and wanted to get away from the life she had at home. And her second ex-husband is an abusive sociopath. Bad picker? Yes. And a couple more failed relationships later, she's resigned herself to remaining single, though open to companionship.
She didn't have great examples of healthy relationships and great compatibility. She was a product of her upbringing, and though I know counseling could have benefited her greatly, therapy in black culture is looked down upon. So rather than work through her own issues and history, the bitterness and resentment continues, and the distrust for men is never completely addressed. It's not a huge deal now that she's in her 50s, but had she sought counseling, did some serious introspection, she *could* have found happiness and joy in a healthy relationship, rather than writing off men out of bitterness and distrust.
She was also raised in a religious household, at least culturally, and renounced it in adulthood. But no doubt, the exposure to this religious culture played a major role in how she understood relationships. My mom tends to see a lot of men the way she views the men during her adolescence: angry, abusive, absent, aggressive.
Would you say your attitude toward women and relationships is colored by your own family dynamics?
My family dynamics are mostly correct. I would just add that my father when he was rarely around was absolutely lackluster. In honesty, lack of a very healthy relationship with my parents is a big reason why I think like I do. With my mother having another failed marriage to have to live down, it just sucks. My mother made bad choices but had good intentions. I don't want to repeat her mistakes. That's why I'm far more restrictive on who I pursue and get involved with the romantically.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,711 posts, read 41,912,279 times
Reputation: 41454
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew
What is up with the word "rejecting"? Everyone uses it. It has such a negative and pejorative implication. There is nothing rejectful (yes, I made up a word) about not sharing someone else' interest. It implies that acceptance should be the default position and that to "reject" is bad and must be explained by some seriously bad reasons.
What difference does it make to how you describe it? The end is still the same, the person don't want you.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,178,375 times
Reputation: 40641
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew
I am not sure I can agree with this. My husband was comfortable in his own skin as a social being among men AND women before we met in our early 20s. And I still see men over at the marriage board I frequent much older than I still talking like some of the guys here.
Sure, but I can get some of it. As I've stated, I was a bitter angry person that struggled with dating in my 20s. It's to be expected, I was a kid, it takes time to figure stuff out, the primary thing was that I was the common denominator and I failed because of me.
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