breaking up is tough

[CAOU812]

Originally Posted by k374

So, my GF told me last weekend that she is unhappy in the relationship (due to my ED issues) and has no interest in attempting sex with me anymore. Then we talked about a possible breakup and then said we will think about it for a day or two as it was a big decision. Then we reconvened and she said she just can't imagine life without me and is afraid she is making a rash decision and we should stay together. I wasn't sure but I told myself I will think it through as well. I think deep down neither of us was prepared to handle separating as our lives are so meshed together right now and going our own way seems like a scary thought even though it sounds like a logical choice.

Now, she has suddenly done a 180 and is always interested in sex and is saying we should keep trying etc. etc. However, I think any little physical interest I had has now become zero because of her absolute rejection of me, saying that she has zero interest as well.

How should I handle this situation?

Are you ED issues mental or physical or a combination of the two? Are they related to your relationship or are they more based in a physical ailment. Just wondering if they are fixable.

[CAOU812]

Originally Posted by k374

she is, but says she can't wait much longer and throughout the relationship she has expressed a lot of disappointment and frustration due to my issues which exacerbates my situation since I have anxiety related ED in the first place. Now she says she has always been supportive which I find to be a joke... everytime we try to be intimate she is very vocal about how it sucks without providing any feedback on how it can be improved. Everything is viewed with pessimism and negativity instead of positivity, optimism and encouragement - the way it should be if you are really love and care about someone and want to improve things.

As I said she has been diagnosed as borderline and has no coping skills with stress whatsoever.

It sounds like theoretically the ED situation could improve but she'd have to make some changes in her behavior. Why not decide to NOT have sex for a month and just let that not be something to worry about for a month and just work on the other aspects of your relationship. Tell her you need to be relaxed and chill when intimate. If she is all negative and or stressed out, that hurts the situation. If she can't make the requisite changes you'll need to go ahead and break things off.

[BirdieBelle]

Originally Posted by CAOU812

Why not decide to NOT have sex for a month and just let that not be something to worry about for a month ...

IIRC, I don't think the OP has EVER been able to have intercourse.

She is not the kind of sensitive, responsive, caring partner he needs to progress through this situation.