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My wife has told me she really wants some breast implants, right now she is a 32A and she says she really wants a C cup. Now before you jump on me, no, I have not done anything to make her feel bad about them in fact I have always given equal amount of time on them as any other body part when we are intimate.
She is 36 and a SAHM and has been for many years. We have 3 daughters, 10, 14, and 15. I think part of why she feels that way is due to her feeling like an outsider compared to the rest of the women in her family. Her mother, two sisters and even both of our teenage daughters ended up with that big bust gene. She has an aunt that is about the same size.
Now not that I go size up relatives breasts by any means it's just very evident from a glance. Probably why a number of times I have heard her say she hates buying bras and heck she has even asked me to take our daughters instead of going herself.
Anyway, the reason I made this was because while I understand it's what she wants and would normally be supportive there are two issues:
1. I am not very confident her getting them would truly make her happy.
2. The cost. They certainly aren't cheap and I am just getting back on my feet after being laid off two years ago and along with all the bills and other expenses I am trying to save as much as I can.
But she is very adamant about getting them and for the past few months it has really upset her even more and she has became distant with our teenage daughters but does spend quite a bit of time with our 10 year old.
Should I cut back on savings to pay for them or should I try to compromise such as say wait until our kids are grown up and gone before we spend that kind of money?
I think if this would really help her self esteem - and it sounds like it might - it would be worth it. It's not as if she's got big boobs and is just wanting bigger ones.
1. I am not very confident her getting them would truly make her happy.
Why do you say this?
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2. The cost. They certainly aren't cheap and I am just getting back on my feet after being laid off two years ago and along with all the bills and other expenses I am trying to save as much as I can.
If cost is a major issue then discuss that and perhaps develop another plan or put money aside for when it is more financially feasible.
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Should I cut back on savings to pay for them or should I try to compromise such as say wait until our kids are grown up and gone before we spend that kind of money?
I have plans for a breast lift/aug in the later future. I'm definitely not waiting until my kids are grown. My husband fully supports my decision.
I think she should derive self-esteem elsewhere. You didn't mention the health risk that implants pose. And if you're fine with her bust the way it is, she shouldn't have a problem. If she's distancing herself from her own kids because of that, she needs counseling. She should count her blessings; she has a good marriage, managed to attract a good guy who supports her in spite of what she perceives to be a major physical flaw or disadvantage, has 3 apparently great kids; she's got a lot going for her. More than some women. Can't she see she's got a great life? Try to impress this upon her.
Maybe a part-time job would take her mind off such a superficial problem, and would give her a sense of competence and self-esteem. Just a thought. Does she have any marketable job skills? Even volunteering for the neighborhood library and reading to kids could help. It sounds like she has a lot of time on her hands to stew about this while the kids are in school.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 06-15-2016 at 12:12 AM..
I think she should derive self-esteem elsewhere. You didn't mention the health risk that implants pose. And if you're fine with her bust the way it is, she shouldn't have a problem. If she's distancing herself from her own kids because of that, she needs counseling. She should count her blessings; she has a good marriage, managed to attract a good guy who supports her in spite of what she perceives to be a major physical flaw or disadvantage, has 3 apparently great kids; she's got a lot going for her. More than some women. Can't she see she's got a great life? Try to impress this upon her.
Maybe a part-time job would take her mind off such a superficial problem, and would give her a sense of competence and self-esteem. Just a thought. Does she have any marketable job skills? Even volunteering for the neighborhood library and reading to kids could help. It sounds like she has a lot of time on her hands to stew about this while the kids are in school.
i am going to disagree with ruth here. and it isnt because i like big boobs either, to me they are all fun, big or small i love them all. but many women find their elf esteem in the shape of their bodies, which is unfortunate.
right now OP your wife is distancing herself from you because she thinks you think she is being silly for wanting to enhance what nature has given her. and she is also feeling rejected because you refuse to even consider her feelings in this.
my last girlfriend wore padded bras, because she wanted more, but didnt want to go under the knife to get them. but if i had the money, and if she wanted them, i would have put up the money for her to get what she wanted. remember this is the woman who bore, and raised, your children, dont you think she deserves some consideration in this?
at least sit down with her, and discuss the situation. find out why she wants them, and discuss the possible health issues surrounding the process and long term.
I think this is a tough topic. Boobs are important and I understand why she might not feel great about having small ones. I can also only imagine what breastfeeding 3 babies has done to them (if she breastfed that is). You say that she is distant with your teenage daughters... Is she depressed? I don't think cosmetic surgery is always the answer. She might want to go for counselling first, to explore why she is feeling the way she does, before opting for surgery. Hope it works out for the two of you!
my last girlfriend wore padded bras, because she wanted more, but didnt want to go under the knife to get them. but if i had the money, and if she wanted them, i would have put up the money for her to get what she wanted. remember this is the woman who bore, and raised, your children, dont you think she deserves some consideration in this?
My ex wife wanted bigger breast, but I reminded her, when it comes down to it, most guys really don't care (especially myself) about the size of a woman's breast. I never in my life heard a man reject a woman because of her breast, have you?
I know, some ladies here will say it's not about what a man or anybody thinks, and that they're doing it for themselves, yadda yadda. I say riiiight, LOL.
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