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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,701 posts, read 41,771,805 times
Reputation: 41381
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
No, the way the OP seems to be taking it is that a simple mention of an SO must MEAN "back off." He does not say a single one of these women literally said back off. It is how he is TAKING it.
By the way, "Dont flatter yourself" is pretty much *the* typical/traditional way of covering being hurt/very affected by the rejection and women will tend to feel sorry for you when you use it. Just a heads up. It's one of the most sour grapes rejection "rebuttals" out there and we women know it. No guy gets that instantly snotty and defensive unless he is really upset by the rejection. A guy who is casual about the rejection will just smile and move along, basically.
Honestly as much as I hate it, I actually have feelings. These can come out in outrageous ways sometimes. Anyone who knows how to get rid of these can DM me with a remedy.
Honestly as much as I hate it, I actually have feelings. These can come out in outrageous ways sometimes. Anyone who knows how to get rid of these can DM me with a remedy.
People have been suggesting therapy and anger management interventions to you for years.
Liberty, I don't think he's exaggerating...
Some years ago, back when I smoked, a woman in front of me pulled out a cigarette and put it to her mouth. Impulsively, I drew my lighter from my pocket and was gonna light her cigarette. She gave me a dirty look, shook her head and went away. Never again.
A dirty look about holding a door open? I believe it.
A muttered rude comment? I believe it.
A loud rude comment? Okay I bet that has happened a couple times.
Screaming?? Really? I don't think I buy it. But maybe once.
More than one woman screaming about a guy holding a door open? Come on.
Honestly as much as I hate it, I actually have feelings. These can come out in outrageous ways sometimes. Anyone who knows how to get rid of these can DM me with a remedy.
You don't have to get rid of your feelings. Your RESPONSES, however, do count and do make an impression, for good or for ill. You are free to choose those; nobody's going to slap a pair of cuffs on you for acting resentful and for overreacting to a simple rejection. I am just letting you know how it comes off...that you're not fooling anyone and that the whole "don't flatter yourself" bit is pretty obviously a licking of one's wounds. Take that however you'd like. Don't take it all if you don't want to, and just keep doing what you're doing.
A dirty look about holding a door open? I believe it.
A muttered rude comment? I believe it.
A loud rude comment? Okay I bet that has happened a couple times.
Screaming?? Really? I don't think I buy it. But maybe once.
More than one woman screaming about a guy holding a door open? Come on.
It was a "I can open my own doors myself!" remark. So after that I just let women open doors themselves since it's "rude" to be courteous. Life lesson learned.
Liberty, I don't think he's exaggerating...
Some years ago, back when I smoked, a woman in front of me pulled out a cigarette and put it to her mouth. Impulsively, I drew my lighter from my pocket and was gonna light her cigarette. She gave me a dirty look, shook her head and went away. Never again.
Not the same thing at all. People open doors for each other all the time as a courtesy and they keep moving. In your case you were standing together. She did not want to be put in the position of having to hang out and make small talk with a stranger you while the two of you smoked. See the difference?
Also, there was no screaming.
And you don't claim that this has happened to you more than once.
It was a "I can open my own doors myself!" remark. So after that I just let women open doors themselves since it's "rude" to be courteous. Life lesson learned.
Because all women think and act exactly the same, and now your mom has to open her own doors.
Not the same thing at all. People open doors for each other all the time as a courtesy and they keep moving. In your case you were standing together. She did not want to be put in the position of having to hang out and make small talk with a stranger you while the two of you smoked. See the difference?
Also, there was no screaming.
And you don't claim that this has happened to you more than once.
I was thinking this...when you let someone into your personal space that way, you're opening a door for intimacy or at least for the person to start chatting you up. Sure, that may not happen but basically you're giving an unwritten invitation, and what if you don't feel like talking to that guy in particular? What if you don't feel like talking to any guy in general? What if you have screaming cramps and are on your lunch break from a busy call center and you just want to be left the eff alone for five minutes while you have your cigarette? What if you're shy? What if it's JUST NO?
Just no in the case described above consists literally of one look interpreted as "dirty" (why, because it wasn't a tee-hee giggle-burble "oh thank you, big boy" grin?) and a shake of the head. That's IT. LOL! If a person can't take just that...a shake of the head...then I don't even know what to tell you fellas! She was being POLITE, she was SILENTLY saying no without making ANY fuss at all...period.
It was a "I can open my own doors myself!" remark. So after that I just let women open doors themselves since it's "rude" to be courteous. Life lesson learned.
It was a "I can open my own doors myself!" remark. So after that I just let women open doors themselves since it's "rude" to be courteous. Life lesson learned.
Which time are you talking about? You said it happened "a few times." Was it the exact same situation each time, with the women "screaming" the same remark?
When did you actually stop opening doors for women? After the first time? Second? Third? Fourth?
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