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Yep. Same with guys. They see a girl as "one of the guys" so sometimes they talk about their girlfriends, or girls they find hot with them.
Exactly! I surf with a bunch of guys and they do exactly that. They'll see a hottie walking down the beach and point her out. Lol Or they'll tell me about their girlfriends.
I am a very nice guy in general. I treat everyone with respect and was raised with gentlemanly manners. I open doors for women who are strangers and I am very kind and generous toward my female colleagues and friends.
Now, what happens to me a lot is this - whenever I am kind to a woman or having a nice conversation that is REMARKABLY unromantic/non-sexual, a woman will often bring up a boyfriend, husband, partner, etc., in the middle of the conversation out of nowhere.
It is always a non-sequitur and then things get weird because I'm never flirting or hitting on them. It kind of pisses me off because I feel that these women are flattering themselves because they assume my kindness is equal to me trying to get into their pants.
This happens to me far too often because I used to be a fat guy and I noticed that these same women would never tell my in-shape male buddies that they have boyfriends or whatever. So the conclusion is that they DON'T have boyfriends and just don't want ME hitting on them, or they do have boyfriends but might be interested in my friends.
I know this because my in-shape buddies would always be surprised that these same women had boyfriends.
I have just stayed away from women because this bothers me so much.
It's not really a thing to get wound up about mate.
It's must be your body language then for them to feel that you are interested in some way, you can be gentlemanly and as platonic as you like but if you're looking at them in a certain way then that's what will stand out and make them react like that
I'm not sure why you're so offended if you have absolutely no interest in these women? Or do you?...and when they bring up a man in their life, you feel rejected? <---- that's more like the case.
It happens because there are men out there who swear to their girlfriends that men don't need or want female friends, that the ONLY reason a man would speak nicely in an unsolicited way to a woman is because he is gauging her interest.
It also happens because the world is such today that some men think a friendly cashier may be hitting on them and women can't tell if the barista is being nice or flirting.
The old days of safely being friendly for the sake of being friendly have passed many of us by.
Even so, the bigger issue with your OP is that YOU are taking these comments entirely too personally. Not everything is a reflection of you.
This happens to me far too often because I used to be a fat guy and I noticed that these same women would never tell my in-shape male buddies that they have boyfriends or whatever. So the conclusion is that they DON'T have boyfriends and just don't want ME hitting on them, or they do have boyfriends but might be interested in my friends.
I know this because my in-shape buddies would always be surprised that these same women had boyfriends.
I have just stayed away from women because this bothers me so much.
So you only run into the very same women who knew you when you weighed more than you do now? How, exactly?
You very obviously have issues with your self-esteem and would rather blame women for them instead of coming to terms with them not being interested in you, no matter what it says on the scale. Because then it might not be about your weight after all.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,701 posts, read 41,824,046 times
Reputation: 41403
Quote:
Originally Posted by EveryDayGuy
Fellas, has this ever happened to you?
Scenario:
I am a very nice guy in general. I treat everyone with respect and was raised with gentlemanly manners. I open doors for women who are strangers and I am very kind and generous toward my female colleagues and friends.
Now, what happens to me a lot is this - whenever I am kind to a woman or having a nice conversation that is REMARKABLY unromantic/non-sexual, a woman will often bring up a boyfriend, husband, partner, etc., in the middle of the conversation out of nowhere.
It is always a non-sequitur and then things get weird because I'm never flirting or hitting on them. It kind of pisses me off because I feel that these women are flattering themselves because they assume my kindness is equal to me trying to get into their pants.
This happens to me far too often because I used to be a fat guy and I noticed that these same women would never tell my in-shape male buddies that they have boyfriends or whatever. So the conclusion is that they DON'T have boyfriends and just don't want ME hitting on them, or they do have boyfriends but might be interested in my friends.
I know this because my in-shape buddies would always be surprised that these same women had boyfriends.
I have just stayed away from women because this bothers me so much.
Honestly, I would say "don't flatter yourself honey." I reward rudeness with BETTER rudeness.
Best reaction to the 'my boyfriend blah blah...' Is a 'you cheating on me? Haha!'
Some way let her know you are not her 'friend.' Tell her right there and then, 'Oh, I had no idea you were in a relationship! That's too bad, I thought this was going really well.' Then bounce!
Well, some guys do it just to get thanks, smile or even a kiss. Some guys and people are nice just to get something. It gets boring for the women too.
Also it is nice to tell having a spouse so other party would not waste his or her time. Also it is impossible to not mention husband as it is every day life and stories. It is normal status.
I actually know one guy who flirts with every woman "just to be nice" ( = just to turn them down because he enjoyes of it). He has narcissistis obsession that every woman is after him. In overtelling this his mouth is flirting and hands are slapping women away...
Stop being nice and opening doors.
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