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I have to say you may be right but I find this really odd and nit picky. You find a great person and give it up over a mannerism or sound they make? Just seems odd. So hard to find a person who cares about you in this world, who you connected with on so many levels to take off for this reason? I find it a bit immature honestly. I guess I look at the big picture. Who is the person? Will they be good to me? Can they communicate and have a healthy relationship with me? I think we all have weird mannerisms. The way he laughed at TV was odd, but I wouldn't be like "Well! See ya! You're a great guy but you laugh weird!" That seems like high school to me. But that's just me and maybe that's how he is.
It was just an idea I had. I don't know what the actual reason or reasons is/are. All that we here in CD land can do is theorize/speculate.
Maybe it is time for some self-reflection, NYEscapee. In your place I'd be busy figuring out if, sometime in the future, this guy tries to pick things up where you left off after he pulled away from you, how you will respond to that? Once that is clear to you, then focus on getting your groove back and open your heart back up to a new person.
Vindictiveness, as you must certainly know, isn't a healthy state of mind - your self described intense level of feelings being used, fooled, betrayed, etc. indicate that maybe you need to consider a bit of counseling yourself?
It was just an idea I had. I don't know what the actual reason or reasons is/are. All that we here in CD land can do is theorize/speculate.
Maybe it is time for some self-reflection, NYEscapee. In your place I'd be busy figuring out if, sometime in the future, this guy tries to pick things up where you left off after he pulled away from you, how you will respond to that? Once that is clear to you, then focus on getting your groove back and open your heart back up to a new person.
Vindictiveness, as you must certainly know, isn't a healthy state of mind - your self described intense level of feelings being used, fooled, betrayed, etc. indicate that maybe you need to consider a bit of counseling yourself?
I think I have reason to feel those things.
When he unblocked me, I had the feeling, eventually, he might come back around, which is why I told him to reblock me and I don't want him in my life. As a friend or otherwise.
We spent too much time talking for him to do what he did. He pretended to care, tried to sleep with me, then said nasty things to me. I don't think after years of friendship and speaking as intensely as we did to pull that is odd that I'm so angry.
As the previous person said, it's not that he didn't want me, it's that he acted so much that he did and then pulled what he did. I know if I had not been feeling it, I would have been distant, not acted all over him and saying how much I'd miss him just to get sex. THIS is why I'm pissed.
Um, he led me on and used me and then said cruel things.
I'll repeat.
You've never thought you wanted someone, then realized you didn't?
If so, was that karma kickback-worthy? Are you a bad person? It must have been and you must be, using your logic. And further using your logic, perhaps he's your karma for having let guys down or turned them down or hurt them. Right? Since anyone who loses interest in a partner and doesn't handle that well is deserving of a big cosmic slapping.
Let it go. I was annoyed at first by people questioning you being a mental health professional and yet severely overreacting and refusing to see the obvious, but I get their reasoning now. Just let it the heck go. You got duped. There were red flags all over the place from the word go. You went forward anyway. That much is on you. Next time, heed the red flags. End of story.
Um, he led me on and used me and then said cruel things.
You did mention earlier the part about being led on, but you say he also used you and said cruel things? In what way did he use you, and what things did he say that was cruel? I don't recall you mentioning either of those things in the earlier synopsis.
Perhaps if you elaborate on these (fairly important) details, we may get a better picture about what made him tick?
You don't know what you're talking about. ...Just shut up. ...You don't even know what you're saying. ...You know nothing. ...Just go away...You're bitter and miserable and trying to spread it around... I was sweet and supportive of him always..
Maybe you were talking to him like this?^^^ It's hard to believe this attitude and tone would only be reserved for strangers trying to give you advice. You could have just thought you were only "sweet and supportive", but honestly, that isn't coming through at all.
Seems pretty logical that it just hit him one day, that he wouldn't have a very pleasant life being talked to like that. IMO.
Maybe you were talking to him like this?^^^ It's hard to believe this attitude and tone would only be reserved for strangers trying to give you advice. You could have just thought you were only "sweet and supportive", but honestly, that isn't coming through at all.
Seems pretty logical that it just hit him one day, that he wouldn't have a very pleasant life being talked to like that. IMO.
^ She makes a pretty good point Op.
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