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Op, when I was in college, a friend of mine was dating pretty rich guy. And for her birthday, he gave her $400 worth of gift certificates to various stores.
Now, being a poor college student, I thought that was amazing. And you have to know that to this day (20 years later), my friend is not the kind of person who is selfish or wants material things. In fact, she is one of the most generous, down-to-earth people I know.
But that present upset her. She never told him that. She just told him that he had spent too much money. But she felt that the gift was thoughtless. It's not about the money. It's about knowing that someone took the time to think about you and had listened to you at some point and had figured out what you like.
I mean, I love to cook. But if my wife gave me a gift card to the grocery store...? Meh. If she bought me the Le Creuset roasting pan I've had my eye on (but can't bring myself to buy bc $$), THAT is a present.
Gift cards are an impersonal gift which people get for people when they are too lazy to go get a real gift or what you get for someone you don't know and don't care enough about to figure out something more thoughtful.
I would never even consider a gift card for a significant other. If you really get to know the person and things they are passionate about it shouldn't be too hard. My G/F really loves doing jigsaw puzzles. For her birthday, I had a few custom puzzles made from pictures from several of our trips together and she really loved them.
You've been together a year and a gift card is the best you could come up with? You should have spent a lot less and gotten something way more meaningful to her that shows her that you have been paying attention to her interests during this past year.
I swear this reminds me of the time that my husband actually GAVE me a Birthday Gift (in 20 years, it's happened once). He was SO PROUD of remembering - which I gave him HUGE points for - and he got me a gift card. He was very proud of the fact that he was able to find it so EASILY as well - it was at the grocery store (they have a big display of various gift cards) that he saw when he ran in to buy beer one day - so he didn't even have to go somewhere else to get it!!! He was seriously expecting a pat on the back for that one.
We have been together a year and she loves to shop at VS so for her birthday I got her a $100 gift card to it and offered to take her up there and she could shop then get some food. But she got really upset and said I was "thoughtless". I don't understand why she is so upset. I got a gift card to somewhere I know she likes, and I was thinking of her about what she would like.
I think she wanted you to pick something out instead of giving her a GC.
That's all.
This is fixable.
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After being with her a year, you should know her sizes and styles she likes to pick something out from there yourself. That would have made a better impression, IMO.
If that's not it and it is because of the amount or the fact that you wanted to buy her something from there to begin with I think you've got some other problems.
Eh, I don't know what the drama is. I've received gift cards from my husband at times and they're actually preferred. I like to be the one doing the buying...and despite what most think, when it comes to clothes guys don't get it right all of the time. In fact, more people should give me gift cards than trying to buy stuff that either I can't use or they don't fit.
We have been together a year and she loves to shop at VS so for her birthday I got her a $100 gift card to it and offered to take her up there and she could shop then get some food. But she got really upset and said I was "thoughtless". I don't understand why she is so upset. I got a gift card to somewhere I know she likes, and I was thinking of her about what she would like.
Yep, gift cards are polarizing. As you can see, some prefer them. My SIL prefers them, because she has very particular tastes. As long as ive known her, id rather get her a token gift card when a gift is called for than spend the time and energy carefully selecting something I know will get garage saled still in the box or regifted.
As noted, some see gift cards as thoughtless or a copout, a quick and easy way to shop for somebody you don't really know well enough to justify taking the time to select a meaningful gift. Could be she's one of these people. I personally don't mind gift cards, but find them more appropriate as gifts for casual or more peripheral acquaintances (like a thank you gift or something for some work-related "appreciation day," or something) than people one has a close personal relationship with for a bigger deal event.
That said, it's okay to be disappointed by a gift. It's ungrateful to express that disappointment to the giver. Whether the gift is your cup of tea or not, nobody HAD to get you anything.
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