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Things are NOT out in the open. You have hopes and needs that you are now hiding or denying in order to keep him comfortable, and to keep him in the relationship. That can't be a healthy basis for a good relationship--he's only happy when your needs are denied. How is that going to play out over time? Whether you end up marrying him or not, it's an unbalanced relationship in which his needs are more important than yours.
I agree that he's basically shown me that this relationship can only work if I agree and am content with accepting my needs aren't as important as his.
If you think it is important for kids to have married parents, then you need to move on now.
I don't really think that anymore. I think it's better to have separated parents who care about each other rather than married parents who are miserable
I agree that he's basically shown me that this relationship can only work if I agree and am content with accepting my needs aren't as important as his.
That says a lot about how he feels about you. This isn't a guy who's all that into you.
Most of the time, this translates to "I want to get married in the future but not to you".
Okay fair enough, although I didn't really see it that way.
I didn't even need a definite answer that we are on track to marriage. I just need to know the possibility of it is still there and it's not a hard no..
You're actively avoiding anything to do with the problems you know you have both together and individually.
How do you feel avoidance is going to benefit yourselves in the long run?
Address the issues or don't bother with one another anymore. this is what it will all ultimately come down to regardless of how hard you try to avoid the things that threaten your relationship.
Somehow that translates in my mind to just throw the relationship in the trash and dismiss all the positive things I've gotten from it, like they never happened.
Okay fair enough, although I didn't really see it that way.
I didn't even need a definite answer that we are on track to marriage. I just need to know the possibility of it is still there and it's not a hard no..
He apparently is not a fan of the hard no. He seems to prefer a long, drawn-out no.
Dang..... that hurts kinda. Do you think I was just a warm body to him? Just someone to pass time with that he liked?
Well, that's a very broad spectrum. But the standard we tend to use here is that if he's truly into you whole hog, he'd let nothing stop him from sewing you up in a marriage contract, so there would be no chance you might find a better thing someday and jus6t walk away. He'd be willing to swim through shark-infested waters for you, that's the standard. If he's really into you, he wouldn't allow the risk that you might get away. As it is now, it seems like he's taking you for granted.
He apparently is not a fan of the hard no. He seems to prefer a long, drawn-out no.
Racking my brain to see what would compell him to keep feeding into things if this is really how he felt and am left puzzled. Why not have just been upfront and honest rather than drawing it out and making me put the clues together?
Most of the time, this translates to "I want to get married in the future but not to you".
Don't know if I agree with that statement. I would take that to mean that he knows she will likely leaves if he says he never wants to get married.
He has to give her some hope to string her along.
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