I'm in love but also confused and afraid (men, cheat, kids)
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More than likely, he is not ready for marriage and doesn't know when, or even if, he will be. He probably doesn't like talking about it because it threatens him with the fact that you MAY leave him.
I doubt he thinks the relationship is not important or that he doesn't value you.
He just feels (and rightly so in some respects) threatened by the idea of marriage, especially in the near future.
What's crazy is I feel like all of my worries are very normal for my age and for how long we've been dating. I just want to know that he's dating me with an open mind/heart to any possibility. Heck I'd honestly be fine if we continued this way being honest and close to each other and if things don't work out for some reason I could accept it.
I don't like feeling used. Like I'm just a warm body
If you want to maintain a healthy dialog with him, you also need to entertain other options other than just marriage. You don't have to ultimately agree to those other options, but they should be on the table. The discussion should be around options and motivations, rather than simply getting married or not.
What's crazy is I feel like all of my worries are very normal for my age and for how long we've been dating. I just want to know that he's dating me with an open mind/heart to any possibility. Heck I'd honestly be fine if we continued this way being honest and close to each other and if things don't work out for some reason I could accept it.
I don't like feeling used. Like I'm just a warm body
But haven't you already covered that terrain with him? Didn't he make it clear? Isn't that why you've been avoiding the subject since that blow-up?
What's crazy is I feel like all of my worries are very normal for my age and for how long we've been dating. I just want to know that he's dating me with an open mind/heart to any possibility. Heck I'd honestly be fine if we continued this way being honest and close to each other and if things don't work out for some reason I could accept it.
I don't like feeling used. Like I'm just a warm body
Are you open to any possibility yourself, such as never getting married? You can't expect him to be open if you are not open.
How does not getting married translate into being just being used as a warm body? You should be basing getting used or not on other criteria than getting married.
I would probably be good with that. I don't think men and women have to stick to old gender roles. Would love a present and active dad.
Id be fine signing a prenuptial. Why?
His fear around marriage might actually be fears around divorce and the consequences of divorce. This is a fear of many guys that many women downplay because they don't want to entertain the fact that divorce is a very high probability for them.
That wasn't what I meant with my question. How do you feel about having children with someone to whom you are not married?
I feel like as a woman that's not what I'm supposed to say I want. But yes if I was with a man I loved and I felt like he would be a good dad and partner, I would be down.
I never gave this much thought since its not the "ideal" but I wouldn't rule it out as a possibility.
I feel like as a woman that's not what I'm supposed to say I want. But yes if I was with a man I loved and I felt like he would be a good dad and partner, I would be down.
I never gave this much thought since its not the "ideal" but I wouldn't rule it out as a possibility.
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