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I find family gatherings particularly awkward- not because anyone asks me about my prospects but it's depressing to see everyone else with kids and significant others when you don't have them. Even if you don't necessarily want kids or a partner, it just feels like everyone else has grown up and started a new life while you have remained the same as you always were. It's like, geez, even my 18 year old cousin who I still consider a kid has a baby. Even my weird, gothic cousin managed to find a weird, gothic boyfriend just like herself to bring to family events. It just makes me feel alone and like a failure in life, but thanks for trying to cheer us up anyway, Auraliea! lol
Hell, I only attend one family reunion a year now, because I get bombarded with questions about why I'm not popping out babies with someone every 9 months. And when they do do it, which is inevitable because there isn't any other type of question they could possibly ask me, I'll usually just duck out early instead of staying long enough to see everyone who hasn't came in yet, because the barrage of marriage and baby questions never stop.
Hell, I only attend one family reunion a year now, because I get bombarded with questions about why I'm not popping out babies with someone every 9 months. And when they do do it, which is inevitable because there isn't any other type of question they could possibly ask me, I'll usually just duck out early instead of staying long enough to see everyone who hasn't came in yet, because the barrage of marriage and baby questions never stop.
I'm sorry to hear that! I guess I should feel lucky that my family doesn't even ask me about it at all, but I do have coworkers who like to ask me if I've met anyone recently only because they know I do go on dates sometimes. They are nice people so I know they are just trying to make conversation and I'm not bothered by it, but I think they do feel a bit sorry for me since they're already married or in relationships.
I was asked (because I was single) what I did in my apartment all alone? True story they asked, 'do you stare at the wall?'
People can be so inconsiderate of other people. They may have decided to stay single or perhaps they have not found somebody but honestly it's none of our business and rude to put people on the spot.
I was asked (because I was single) what I did in my apartment all alone? True story they asked, 'do you stare at the wall?'
People can be so inconsiderate of other people. They may have decided to stay single or perhaps they have not found somebody but honestly it's none of our business.
Some people really just can't imagine what it's like because they've never even lived alone, so I don't think everyone who says things like that is trying to be inconsiderate. And sometimes I do stare at the wall...but I'm just admiring the new paint job.
I'm sorry to hear that! I guess I should feel lucky that my family doesn't even ask me about it at all, but I do have coworkers who like to ask me if I've met anyone recently only because they know I do go on dates sometimes. They are nice people so I know they are just trying to make conversation and I'm not bothered by it, but I think they do feel a bit sorry for me since they're already married or in relationships.
I live in the midwest, so I imagine there's a lot more pressure to marry super early than other parts of the US. It just so happened that I never wanted to do that, and because I made that decision early, I probably doomed myself when it comes to relationships. I get hit with these questions all the time, almost every week, from family, coworkers and friends. People mean well, but they don't understand that it's actually really painful to have to deal with. Anymore, weeks feel like one giant slog, just because I'm expecting those questions to come.
I was asked (because I was single) what I did in my apartment all alone? True story they asked, 'do you stare at the wall?'
People can be so inconsiderate of other people. They may have decided to stay single or perhaps they have not found somebody but honestly it's none of our business and rude to put people on the spot.
I'd say " no I stare at the ceiling instead .... Goodbye "
I was asked (because I was single) what I did in my apartment all alone? True story they asked, 'do you stare at the wall?'
People can be so inconsiderate of other people. They may have decided to stay single or perhaps they have not found somebody but honestly it's none of our business and rude to put people on the spot.
And that just shows their stupidity if they can't find things to do at home that don't involve a SO. And even if you don't do too much at home, surely you can leave the house. lol As if being single means you stay home all the time and stare at walls like an asylum.
But yes. Some people can be very tactless, and just blurt out anything. Like SLS said, some only care about if you're coupled up. They don't wanna know about your hobbies, career or other interests. If you are coupled up, they wanna know who it is. If you're not, they wanna know why.
I used to get that question a good bit. Thankfully, it's stopped. But that's natural when I don't hang around people long enough to warrant the question. lol
Some people really just can't imagine what it's like because they've never even lived alone, so I don't think everyone who says things like that is trying to be inconsiderate. And sometimes I do stare at the wall...but I'm just admiring the new paint job.
Its really peaceful to be able to stare at the wall uninterrupted.
Many people are single but unable to make it on their own. I dont feel sorry about it.
Another thing that kind of gets me, is there is not much you can do with the situation. I often feel stuck because they don't understand my take on relationships. I don't have any issue with them, I just don't think they define a person. They're just something that happens along the path of life they are optional. They don't understand my lack of attraction to people either. I don't known if it's old fashioned to want to date people you're already attracted to. I don't have the patience to date around with people to see if I feel something.
In my case it'sa HUGE waste of time. If I don't feel anything in the beginning my feelings do not change. I have a lot of things on my mind that stress me out enough. I don't need any unnecessary drama over something that's not in my control. Whatever mental block I may or may not have, a relationship is not going fix it. So there is no point in worrying about it. Yeah I feel lonely sometimes but that's normal. It's not enough for me to want to actively seeking anyone out. It's all about perspective.
I'd say " no I stare at the ceiling instead .... Goodbye "
Tell them you like to stare at the mirror above your bed.
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