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In my experience, if a guy tells you that he doesn't want to be your boyfriend, that he doesn't want a relationship etc., listen to what he's saying. Getting to know him more is a great idea BUT I wouldn't get more emotionally involved if you are looking for a relationship with him further down the line. Did you ask him if he was just against the gf/bf for the time being, or in general?
That he asked you what you are to him, after having sex, just sounds like a bit of a mind game to me.
He told you what he wanted. Listen and think and act accordingly as you continue to see him. You probably won't make him change his mind. Basically, he has told you that he only wants FWB or FB with you, not a relationship. If you are good with that, no problem.
I only got to the 1st page, so if something has changed, please forgive me.
Honestly OP, if you really wanted this guy to eventually become your bf, I wouldn't have slept with him. I don't sleep with people who tell me up front that they're not into the whole "bf/gf" label thing. I would only sleep with someone who's a bf...but that's just me.
If you're fine with being a FWB, then by all means, go ahead and have fun. But it sort of seems like you kind of could see yourself with this guy in a serious way. Maybe you slept w/him because you felt he would dump you if you didn't? I just don't see the point in sleeping with a guy who has told you UP FRONT that he is not wanting to make you his gf and don't even think about calling him a bf. Idk...maybe it's because I'm in my 30's or something, but I'm so over "hook ups" like this.
But again, do you if you have to. I just have a bad feeling that he already kind of told you what was up from the get go, and I don't see it changing anytime soon.
Update: i have realized that he still think that he is out of my league and he is not compatible to me. i have reassured him many times that he is NOT out of my league and that i enjoy being around him. he tells me he is always nervous around me and that he doesn't know how to be perfect for me and that he is working on being more comfortable around me. and i can see that he is more comfortable around me and he not as stiff as before.
and is it normal for a hook up to end with him cooking you breakfast for lunch?
Update: i have realized that he still think that he is out of my league and he is not compatible to me. i have reassured him many times that he is NOT out of my league and that i enjoy being around him. he tells me he is always nervous around me and that he doesn't know how to be perfect for me and that he is working on being more comfortable around me. and i can see that he is more comfortable around me and he not as stiff as before.
and is it normal for a hook up to end with him cooking you breakfast for lunch?
Well, at least we know he isn't playing games, he's just insecure. It's up to you to decide if you can tolerate that insecurity. Breakfast or brunch after overnight sex is normal. How else are you going to eat? lol
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