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So i recently started seeing this guy and we were talking about our labels. he told me that he can't do the whole bf/ gf thing. and i was ok with it since we don't know each other that well. so i told him that it's ok and we're just getting to know each other. the other night we hooked up and the next day he asked me what he was to me. idk what to tell him since he's the one who doesn't want to be my boyfriend rn (which i am totally ok with)
PS this guy calls me beautiful almost everyday and he worships me like a queen.
and we are literally completely opposites he a dork and according to him I'm that popular girl every guy wanted in high school.
OP, I can't help thinking that he's kind of setting you up. He said upfront he "cant to the bf/gf thing", to which you said: "fine". Now he's asking you to contradict yourself and to ignore his clearly stated preference for no labels. It sounds like a trap. Either that, or he's not as clear on how he feels about labels as the thinks.
What you should do (IMO): Reiterate to him that you agree with his stated preference for no labels. Re-state that you're fully on board with that. Repeat as needed, if he presses. If he continues to try to pull a response from you, ask him why he's asking, since the question has already been discussed, agreed upon, and dealt with. "We already talked about that. I'm fine with your preference for no labels." If he asks again, then: "Why do you ask? I thought we agreed on the matter, and it's done with. Why bring it up again?"
It sounds oddly manipulative to me (or he could just be insecure or possessive or something), so you shouldn't fall for it. He said he wanted no labels, so he's getting no labels. Maybe in the future, he'll learn to be careful what he asks for. He seems to want you to get clingy now that you've had sex with him. OR he wants you to say, "No labels, so you're nothing to me", which would give him a reason to make a fuss or call you a sl**, or whatever. Do not walk into this trap.
When he asked you what he was to you, you should have just said, "You tell me."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
OP, I can't help thinking that he's kind of setting you up. He said upfront he "cant to the bf/gf thing", to which you said: "fine". Now he's asking you to contradict yourself and to ignore his clearly stated preference for no labels. It sounds like a trap. Either that, or he's not as clear on how he feels about labels as the thinks.
What you should do (IMO): Reiterate to him that you agree with his stated preference for no labels. Re-state that you're fully on board with that. Repeat as needed, if he presses. If he continues to try to pull a response from you, ask him why he's asking, since the question has already been discussed, agreed upon, and dealt with. "We already talked about that. I'm fine with your preference for no labels." If he asks again, then: "Why do you ask? I thought we agreed on the matter, and it's done with. Why bring it up again?"
It sounds oddly manipulative to me (or he could just be insecure or possessive or something), so you shouldn't fall for it. He said he wanted no labels, so he's getting no labels. Maybe in the future, he'll learn to be careful what he asks for. He seems to want you to get clingy now that you've had sex with him. OR he wants you to say, "No labels, so you're nothing to me", which would give him a reason to make a fuss or call you a sl**, or whatever. Do not walk into this trap.
OMG thats exactly what i feel. i feel like i am walking into a trap. he really needs to be careful of what he wishes for cause now i don't want a label on us but i think he changed his mind and wants a label. i definitely feel like he got a lot more clingy after we hooked up.
Right now you are just a fxck buddy. With a little more time and familiarity, you will make the jump to FWB. All the best!
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