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But what many of these materialistic women don't stop to think of is even though I don't make much I come with a house.
So say a single woman I was dating were to move in(out of an apartment) her disposable income would increase because she would no longer be paying rent and if she paid half of the bills she would still come out ahead because at her old apartment she was paying ALL of the bills, also my disposable income would increase because my living expenses would drop by half. it would be a win/win even though her win would be slightly greater.
Just curious but do you live in an area where housing is expensive and unaffordable to most? Or is housing or renting relatively inexpensive where you live? There's a big difference between owning a house say in San Francisco Vs Detroit. But great that it's paid for and that you are an owner than a renter.
Just treating music like a business will not mean a good living for everyone, or even the majority of people.
You need to either have talent, a gimmick, or an innate ability to know what it is people want - or all three - PLUS the willingness to treat your music like a business, in order for it to earn you a good living.
You need to give people what they want in order for them to buy what you're selling. They're not grudgingly going to go "well, this guy works so hard and is such a good music businessman that I pretty much have to buy his music." Music is very, very, very emotional. I'm not sure why so many here seem to want to reduce it to something pretty much anybody who basically likes music can do. It's not. It is still an art, and it's still a knack, and it's still at least partially being in the right place at the right time and second-guessing what new idea is going to be huge (AND being able to execute that idea).
The various arts are still, even in this very technological (as well as self-publishing) age, somewhat apart from general business. Period. I can't make my living writing JUST by having drive and treating writing like a business. If I do those two things, but I suck, nobody is going to buy what I'm selling, and that's that. I need to not just be technically good at writing (something I'm NOT demonstrating here...sorry, I'm typing this all up quickly), and not just be technically good at writing PLUS willing to work hard, I need to be technically good at writing, willing to work hard, and have some sort of edge...something people want. I have to have style, no matter what that style is (but it still has to be executed well). I need to have that knack. If I don't, who's going to buy what I'm writing? Even "dry" forms of writing need to have that ability to put a thought together in a readable and engaging way, and they need to make sense, be broken up into manageable portions and a hundred other things. Just being willing to work hard, and just treating writing like a business, will absolutely not guarantee a good living, or even a partial living.
Music is the same way. It's partially down to competition (there's A TON) and partially down to people wanting an experience from their art, not just hard work and a well set-up business and technically correct skill.
The arts have a lot on their shoulders. They have to deliver not just a product, but an experience and an emotion (at least one; sometimes, a combination of several, or even quite a few). There are technical parts to ALL the arts, or pretty much all, yes. And being willing to work hard, and being logical and organized, and self-promoting, are all elements like any business...but to make a claim that anybody with some talent can do it is just wrong. Flat-out wrong, I'm sorry. A LOT of people have a LITTLE talent (or even a fair amount of it) in any given creative venture. They absolutely will not all be successful to the point of entire self-support based on that talent.
Yes, it hurts when your talent isn't admired (and paid for)...I get that. But I feel the whole "the rest of the world is nuts, it's these indies I've personally selected that are good, and I'm the expert" mentality can often be a cover for that hurt. WE don't suck; THE WORLD is nuts. "People" just "don't know talent" (bonus points if you add a "today" to the end of that sentence). Yes, it hurts to not have our talents recognized...but it's not mature, IMO, to put that off on the rest of the world, and that attitude gets us nowhere. It means if we do suck...if it's even a little to moderate degree of suck...we won't try to get better. Because we're already great...it's the world that's nuts! It means we don't have to take responsibility, it means we don't have to learn to deal with disappointment (we're placing blame instead of looking inward)...it causes bitterness. I just don't see the good in it, personally. And I SURE don't think it propels anybody toward his or her dream.
Yes.
I don't disagree with you, JerZ. It takes both talent and business skills to make it as an artist, that was my point. When I said that artists need to treat their art like a business, I presumed that they have a marketable talent (an experience or an emotion or whatever). That is sort of a given in order to stay in business.
Many talented artists I know are introverts by nature, who have plenty of talent but don't know how to market themselves (or they don't want to). They want an agent or a gallery to do that for them, or they want to sit back and wait to be "discovered". That's all well and good, but if you have a product with no market, then you are a hobbyist, you are not a professional artist no matter how talented you are.
The days where galleries, agents, and labels controlled artists are no more. It's a new world out there for talented artists who can market themselves.
One of the things that frustrates me about online dating or IRL dating for that matter more than not finding a match is finding a match but her losing interest for shallow reasons.
Nothing worse than finding that 1 in 100 profiles that match up with my interests, hobbies, sense of humor and messaging her to find out we have a great flow of conversation only to hear her voice change once she steers the conversation to employment and or income, I can hear her lose interest almost immediately.
Now let me explain, I work from home, I make my own hours I own my own home out right and pay all my bill's on time.
The problem come when the woman probes to know what my disposable income is, I am honest and say it's not a lot.
I set my life up like this because the rat race was stressing me out so much that it was making me into a person I did not want to be, so I simplified my life once my house was paid for.
once a woman hears this she disappears, The last one I dated actually told me she was more materialistic than she thought she was(at least she was honest). We liked most of the same things got along great and were sexually compatible, she even tried to come back a few months later but I have a hard time going back to someone who unfairly hurt me.
I take care of myself, never so much as borrow a dime from anyone, don't use credit cards and most important I enjoy what I do, but get viewed as a bum by most women. are there any women out there who don't judge a man solely on disposable income?
Ladies what is your view on the subject?
Guys does this happen to you?
One of the things that frustrates me about online dating or IRL dating for that matter more than not finding a match is finding a match but her losing interest for shallow reasons.
Nothing worse than finding that 1 in 100 profiles that match up with my interests, hobbies, sense of humor and messaging her to find out we have a great flow of conversation only to hear her voice change once she steers the conversation to employment and or income, I can hear her lose interest almost immediately.
Now let me explain, I work from home, I make my own hours I own my own home out right and pay all my bill's on time.
The problem come when the woman probes to know what my disposable income is, I am honest and say it's not a lot.
I set my life up like this because the rat race was stressing me out so much that it was making me into a person I did not want to be, so I simplified my life once my house was paid for.
once a woman hears this she disappears, The last one I dated actually told me she was more materialistic than she thought she was(at least she was honest). We liked most of the same things got along great and were sexually compatible, she even tried to come back a few months later but I have a hard time going back to someone who unfairly hurt me.
I take care of myself, never so much as borrow a dime from anyone, don't use credit cards and most important I enjoy what I do, but get viewed as a bum by most women. are there any women out there who don't judge a man solely on disposable income?
Ladies what is your view on the subject?
Guys does this happen to you?
Set it to your profile so you both would not waste your time. This world is materialistic, unfortunately, and since natural resources cannot carry that much, there should be different athmosphere taugh in a society. It is in every life area, not just dating area. It is something that society needs to get rid of to survive.
I have NEVER asked a guy about "disposable income"...I don't even use that term in life at all. How weird.
BTW; the guy I had the WORST date with ever drove the BEST car of any guy I had ever dated.
He was also very good looking by my friends standards; they all thought I was so "lucky" to get asked out by him.
The car WAS nice but the dude was dumber than a box of rocks!
("Next...!")
Some guys don't understand this. They thought money, status are what women want. A lot of women are looking for the content in the guy who can achieve these stuff. Not the stuff itself.
Some guys don't understand this. They thought money, status are what women want. A lot of women are looking for the content in the guy who can achieve these stuff. Not the stuff itself.
So you are saying a broke guy cannot have great qualities?
So you are saying a broke guy cannot have great qualities?
The broke guy can have those qualities, but after a certain age, if he is still broke, he probably doesn't really have them.
Generally women don't need a guy to have huge financial resources. They just don't want a guy who is going to be a drain on their own financial resources.
The broke guy can have those qualities, but after a certain age, if he is still broke, he probably doesn't really have them.
Generally women don't need a guy to have huge financial resources. They just don't want a guy who is going to be a drain on their own financial resources.
Pretty much. I don't need a woman who makes tons of money and has a fancy career. I just need a woman who can be self-sufficient and able to take me out every once in a while. Money isn't everything, but when it comes to dating, I'm not a sit on the couch and watch tv kind of relationship person. I'm also not a big go out to eat all the time person either, I much rather save that money up for a nicer dinner, concert, or weekend getaway. At the same time, you have to be able to put money aside for those things, even if it's just $100/month. I've dated women that had no money for dates and it became a drain on me after a while, because I saw what my future was going to be. Always paying for anything and everything we did. Resentment starts to set in at that moment.
Some women may look for a guy who makes more money, because they see their own ability of making sufficient income, not possible. They may have a $30k job/career, but seek a $60k lifestyle. You can't have a $60k lifestyle without having a long view on a $30k job/career.
are there any women out there who don't judge a man solely on disposable income?
Ladies what is your view on the subject?
No. Every single woman on the face of the earth judges every single man on their disposable income. However it is obvious this judgement does not influence their actions as the majority of women go on to engage in relationships with men of little means that result in marriage and producing offspring.
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