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As part of the dating process I (late 30s, male) and my partner (mid 30s, female) agreed to date exclusively. This "exclusive phase of dating" is new to me. Past relationships just moved to commitment phase in an unstructured manner. What does the exclusive dating phase involve? What should be our focus in getting to know each other. How long does this phase usually last? It took 3mo to get to being exclusive.
I imagine it means you ain't putting the wood to another woman. I'm not the smartest man in the room, but I'm guessing that's what that means.
This.
And maybe you're seeing each other on a (hopefully) much more frequent basis. Maybe 3, 4, 5 days a week? Depending on how far you live, how much you work, etc.
I'd hope you're spending more time just together, maybe at one of your places and not so much out just on dates and what not.
As part of the dating process I (late 30s, male) and my partner (mid 30s, female) agreed to date exclusively. This "exclusive phase of dating" is new to me. Past relationships just moved to commitment phase in an unstructured manner. What does the exclusive dating phase involve? What should be our focus in getting to know each other. How long does this phase usually last? It took 3mo to get to being exclusive.
I don't know why I think this is a funny question, I apologize...but "how does this process work and what should our focus be" seem like questions aliens just recently landing on the planet would ask.
Late 30's? Exclusive means no more seeking out others as potential dates or mates. I think I would have given up on someone if they took 3 months to decide to be exclusive with me, if that's what I wanted from them. 3 months is a whole summer....
Again, I am not trying to make fun of you, but have you had relationships before this?
It's not like becoming exclusive is a deep dark hole with just two people in it. Or is that what you are afraid of? On the other hand, American marriages can be pretty insular. My suggestion is to give her plenty of freedom to continue on with her friends, hobbies, etc. and you do the same. Otherwise, it might become that deep dark hole.
As part of the dating process I (late 30s, male) and my partner (mid 30s, female) agreed to date exclusively. This "exclusive phase of dating" is new to me. Past relationships just moved to commitment phase in an unstructured manner. What does the exclusive dating phase involve? What should be our focus in getting to know each other. How long does this phase usually last? It took 3mo to get to being exclusive.
It means you stop dating other people and only date each other. Everything else can proceed like any other committed relationship.
As part of the dating process I (late 30s, male) and my partner (mid 30s, female) agreed to date exclusively. This "exclusive phase of dating" is new to me. Past relationships just moved to commitment phase in an unstructured manner. What does the exclusive dating phase involve? What should be our focus in getting to know each other. How long does this phase usually last? It took 3mo to get to being exclusive.
It's basically what it says on the tin mate.... You are exclusive for one another and no one else
Dont understand what you mean by how long the exclusive phase lasts for?.... It's lasts until you break up mate obviously.
And I'm completely lost with " what should be our focus in getting to know each other "...... How did you become exclusive WITHOUT knowing a hell of a lot about each other?
I really think you are over analysing this to be honest, I mean if you choose to look at the different progressions in a relationship as phases then what's the next one after " going exclusive "?.
You're together now and enjoy it mate..... That's all you have to worry about
You are not dating or seeking anyone else when exclusive. You are striving to know this person deeply to evaluate compatibility: personality, values, goals, attitudes, habits, beliefs, culture, sexuality. If any are not adequately compatible or even deal-breakers, you end it and move on. If not you continue.
This phase - IMO - lasts about a year. At that point you may decide to live together (IMO, a necessary prelude to thinking marriage). If so, another year should determine if you are good partners on a daily basis. Only then should you decide if marriage is a desirable option. And note that it can take two years of sexual activity to reach your baseline sexuality - if it's not good and sufficient in frequency at the two year mark, it is almost certainly never going to improve. This is when many people make a big mistake and marry because all else is good, only to be miserable because of sexual incompatibility.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by homebuyer101
Hi,
As part of the dating process I (late 30s, male) and my partner (mid 30s, female) agreed to date exclusively. This "exclusive phase of dating" is new to me. Past relationships just moved to commitment phase in an unstructured manner. What does the exclusive dating phase involve? What should be our focus in getting to know each other. How long does this phase usually last? It took 3mo to get to being exclusive.
You stop dating other people, stop looking for other people, and generally (though I wouldn't make this assumption, I'd be explicit), stop sleeping with other people.
Its not JUST the monogamy
its the commitment...more calls and texting, expecting your weekends to be spent with them, unless you get written AND notarized permission weeks in advance
you are also committing to week day/night time as well...all in all your time together increases
also, sex will decrease a bit...now that you cant have another, you can only have them occasionally
also, do NOT lapse on the romance and gift giving...if anything, expectations of increased romance are there
also, this is a step towards marriage, even if its not discussed...
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