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My SIL was in the six figures while in her doctorate program. I have very high student loan debt, but fortunately for me, my payments are very manageable and will be for quite some time. (significantly less than most people's car payments) And the remaining debt will be forgiven through the IDR repayment plans.
I worked with a young dude, probably about 26 or so and he had a boat load of student loan debt. Probably around 45k or more, I don't recall the exact amount, but he had his paid down significantly in just like 3 yrs, I commend the dude for it, I wasn't that disciplined at that age. I've gotten way way better with money as I've gotten older. In my company we pay people right out of college pretty damn well, so with some long hours and OT he was good about paying back his school loans I think by now he's probably got them paid off as this was a couple three years ago.
One thing that a lot of people don't realize is that school loans aren't typically able to be written off in case of bankruptcy, they follow you and as far as I know aren't typically forgiven. I might not be 100 percent correct here with the all of the deets but have heard a lot of grumblings about it the last few years.
There are student loan forgiveness programs for some instances. In chapter 7 bankruptcy you can't discharge student loans. When I divorced the ex was stuck with her student loans. I ponied up my share on everything else. The first few years were spent sweeping up that mess.
Now, I am setting pretty good. Not really wanting to take on any more debt.
I'm 34 and other than my car payment which I will finish off in 5 years (maybe sooner with overtime) I have zero debt. No credit cards, no student loans (paid off), no medical bills, no debt. Recently started dating a girl, have gone out 2 dates and tomorrow will be date number 3 and we were talking about student loans and seems like she has tons of it. She's a teacher.
Just wondering from other experiences and if you would ever consider someone for long term relationship that has huge amounts of debt. My mom and family say no way they would never marry or consider someone with huge amounts of debt for a long term relationship.
Thoughts?
Haven't read anything past this. Apologize in advance if I missed any pertinent, non drama posts from legit folks, BUT:
Don't sign up for anything you cant personally write a check to clear you both from...no matter how good she feels.....period!!
Last edited by Luck-67; 09-10-2016 at 11:47 PM..
Reason: needed to add a coupla exclamation points to emphasize
Just curious.
I'm 34 and other than my car payment which I will finish off in 5 years (maybe sooner with overtime) I have zero debt. No credit cards, no student loans (paid off), no medical bills, no debt. Recently started dating a girl, have gone out 2 dates and tomorrow will be date number 3 and we were talking about student loans and seems like she has tons of it. She's a teacher.
Just wondering from other experiences and if you would ever consider someone for long term relationship that has huge amounts of debt. My mom and family say no way they would never marry or consider someone with huge amounts of debt for a long term relationship.
Thoughts?
Do you want to have a future with her?
Does she have a repayment plan?
If so, is it a reasonable plan?
Does she also have other debt?
Is she living beyond her means?
Does she have savings?
If you are seeing a future with her these things are something to be considered before moving in together, getting married, having a child, etc.
Well, a little debt is not a bad thing. In fact, having some debt such as a credit card with lower interest is not a bad idea. And, of course, there's student loan debt.
So on the question of debt, let's exclude the issues such as major health problems or long-term job loss. Those things can indeed happen. To me, outside of those factors, amassing lots and lots of debt is the sign of two big problems: 1) Lack of judgment and 2) Lack of planning. Both of these will cripple any relationship.
Even student loan debt is subject to question. If you rack up $100,000 in student loan debt to get an MBA from a distinguished school, okay. You'll be paying that off in not time. If you rack up $100,000 to get a MSW, then it becomes a serious head scratcher, chiefly because salaries are so low in that field even with a graduate degree. You really have to wonder about that person's wisdom.
A few years ago, I read about someone who racked up close to $200,000 in student loan debt majoring in photography, attending an expensive private college to do so. The article felt sympathetic to that person, but I was thinking to myself, "Holy cats. What an idiot." And before you leap to your keyboards to shout me down, I work with photographers all the time. A few of them do quite well for themselves. But for more, it's an undependable biz that can pay really well one year and terribly the next.
Every long-term relationship, especially marriage, is a partnership in the physical, emotional, and financial sense of the word. If someone is fighting a running battle with creditors because he or she simply compulsively spends money, it does not bode well for his or her partners in life.
Student loan debt is a "good" debt as far as debt goes. I'd be more concerned with too many trips to Ensenada with the girls being paid for with credit cards or a closet full of high end shoes, that's the bad debt. Not that debt is good, just sayin.
If you're 34 you shouldn't worry so much about what your mom and dad think. If this lady is responsible overall and is actively working to pay down the debt why automatically kick her aside if she's got a lot of good traits going on.
I do get how you feel, having a lot of debt doesn't sit well with me either but it shouldn't be an automatic deal breaker.
Yeah, I don't think student loan debt is necessarily bad debt. I feel like there's certain debt that's okay and others that aren't. What if someone owes $500k on a mortgage, but they're paying it every month and on time and have the financial stability to be able to afford this? That's not such a bad thing, and I wouldn't hold it against them. I have about roughly $6k left on a bike right now (Harley), that will be paid off in February of 2018, If I don't make any extra payments. I have about $58k or $57k left on my house, on pace to be paid off by December 2028 (15 year mortgage!) if I don't make any extra payments.
Everything has been paid on time and monthly, ever since obtaining these loans. It's not like $40k in credit card debt or unpaid bills and a decimated credit score. Those would be problems in my mind. Nothing wrong with having some debt, if you're responsible, paying the bills on time and living within your means.
What would matter to me is the nature of the debt (student loans or a mortgage are better than consumer debt), their ability to repay it reliably from stable employment, and their remaining disposable income (as that would impact what we could do together and afford based on equitable contribution).
I'm 34 and other than my car payment which I will finish off in 5 years (maybe sooner with overtime) I have zero debt. No credit cards, no student loans (paid off), no medical bills, no debt. Recently started dating a girl, have gone out 2 dates and tomorrow will be date number 3 and we were talking about student loans and seems like she has tons of it. She's a teacher.
Just wondering from other experiences and if you would ever consider someone for long term relationship that has huge amounts of debt. My mom and family say no way they would never marry or consider someone with huge amounts of debt for a long term relationship.
Thoughts?
Pretty shallow to make a blanket statement like that. If it's a massive amount of credit card debt for being stupid I would understand, but sometimes life happens and you go into a lot of debt. I'm in a similar situation at the moment.
A person with "tons of debt" is a example of a person that comes with "tons of baggage". There's no reason for her to owe a truckload of money for a student loan to become a teacher unless she was using that money for all kinds of nonsense, now it's time for her to pay the piper. Why even consider a long term relationship with someone who obviously was irresponsible while you were being very responsible? Pardon the pun but it doesn't add up.
You do realize student loans are a way of life? That's how some people have to get through college and it doesn't mean they were irresponsible. I think you need to get off your high horse.
There are student loan forgiveness programs for some instances. In chapter 7 bankruptcy you can't discharge student loans. When I divorced the ex was stuck with her student loans. I ponied up my share on everything else. The first few years were spent sweeping up that mess.
Now, I am setting pretty good. Not really wanting to take on any more debt.
If she's a teacher, she could probably qualify for public service loan forgiveness assuming she's enrolled and making qualifying payments. Plus if she's in that program and on income-based repayment, the debt typically does raise since people on IBR don't make the standard payments and the interest accrues during that period.
I know people who are on the PSLF program who have insane amounts of debt because we went to school when the interest rates were high and they've been in for a while. They fully intend to stick it out at this point. That doesn't mean they made poor life decisions. They've actually thought things through and realized it was the best way for them to get their loans paid off. It isn't their fault that at the time they were in school the government decided to set the interest rates higher for the loans than they did in other years. No one can tell what will happen in the future to loan rates.
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) if I don't make any extra payments. 
