Men showing kindness to women / women expecting kindness from men (friend, straight)
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Chill. I never accused you of dating jerks. This isn't about you.
You're going to address that...... but not the part about women your friends dated?
Just showing how women can pass on nice guys without dating jerks.
It's pretty common.
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And sure, some women (and men) respond favorably to being treated poorly, but that's pretty much a red flag indicating a crapload of baggage that you'd probably want to avoid.
Oh absolutely there are people like that my love
I've got a couple that I know well and they are like Tom and Jerry the way they talk and treat each other..... it's the sort of stuff that you and I would reserve for someone that's taken out life savings or worse.... not a loved one.
But agreed I'm not at all like that so I'd definitely avoid
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcuston
You must admit though, it does work, or can work, otherwise it wouldn't be such a popular saying. When was the last time you heard anyone say "treat 'em nice, keep 'em keen"? I know it isn't quite as snappy because it doesn't rhyme, but you get the point.
Would you advise someone to treat a lady with kindness and respect or to be verbally/ possibly physically abusive and basically treat them like crap?
Yes the saying must have come from somewhere but I'm sure it being a very well known saying is passed around as a guideline to AVOID such a person/environment?
Chill. I never accused you of dating jerks. This isn't about you.
You missed her point. Mod cut: no discussing mod actions Which was, that there could be a lot of nice guys out there who are assuming women don't like "nice" simply because they've been rejected. They may assume, "Oh, she doesn't like nice guys", when in fact, it was only a matter of their not being some woman's "type". The woman who rejected them moved on to find a nice guy who was more appealing for whatever reason.
Yeah, but she's asking if, say, a guy holds the door for you going into Starbucks, do you automatically think, "oh, I must have him"? No? Neither do women.
Starbucks? Please, that's so last year. I'm surprised the point isn't getting through. What I'm saying is, niceness does not seem to be an attraction factor to women. Whereas, dysfunctional as it may be, jerk behavior has a far better track record overall in terms of being attractive to women.
And if you're going to make this about you by telling me that you're not like that, don't. That's cheating.
Wait, you think a woman is going to be interested in you just because you're not a jerk and show politeness?
Niceness doesn't repell women. But just because you're nice doesn't mean a woman is going to want you. That's insane.
Niceness in itself doesn't attract women. Women are attracted by confidence, charm and an outgoing sociable personality.
If you're confident ,charming and nice you'll attract women. If you're confident and a jerk you'll attract women. If you're nice but lack confidence you'll really struggle.
Interest or attraction, I would imagine. I've been told many times that niceness doesn't seem to be a very attractive quality to women. I always imagined that if I was straight, as long as i'm decent and nice to women, that they would find that attractive. but judging from what my straight friends tell me, it doesn't seem to be so. I find that odd. Why would niceness repel women?
It sounds like your straight friends are very clueless.
Being nice is one of the main attractions for most women in a guy. Most women don't want a guy who is going to be a jerk. Most women like to feel safe and secure. Being with a guy who treats them poorly is going to make them the opposite of that.
Some women who had dads who treated them badly might gravitate towards guys who act this way, but even most of them end up being attracted to nice guys as they mature and figure things out.
Being nice is only one of a whole host of characteristics that a woman will find attractive. Being nice, by itself is not going to win a woman over.
Starbucks? Please, that's so last year. I'm surprised the point isn't getting through. What I'm saying is, niceness does not seem to be an attraction factor to women
Doesn't seem, to whom? It very much IS an attraction factor. You seem stuck on the fact that it isn't, in spite of the posts telling you that your friends are wrong. What's up with that? Why post here and ask the question if you're going to ignore the answers?
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