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I met this woman(she is 25), who wanted to jump into a relationship from day 1. She has made alot of effort to push things along fast, like super fast. i like her alot and she
I have been overlooking some red flags due to the fact that i like her and she seems so crazy about me. Plus, I have been extremely sympahtetic to her red flags. ive started to wonder if she is playing on this...
Red flags
1. she is going to court over her ex. She wont tell me why as she doesnt want me to lose interest in her. She has said in passing its a restraining order against him. she also worried that ill hear something about her from mutual friends and it will ruin things. so that doesnt completely add up.
2. She is always freaking out that Im not interested. super clingy. I let this slide, because i know her ex bf. I alwasys thought he was a douche as he is a 45 year old club promoter posting daily bathroom selfies on facebook to show all his gym progress adn he isnt in very good shape. She dated him from 21-24, im sure this was a super unhealthy relationship.
3. On our 3rd date, she told me she hadnt gone out in a long time, and asked if i would mind if she did coke. she bought 200 dollars of it. Drugs dont bother me, so this didnt phase me. but i had never seen hardcore cocaine usage
4. the last two times we hung out, we were exhausted and she JUST had to go to this after hour bar. i gave in the 2nd time its in the ghetto, i was like wtf are we doing here. and then in walks her ex bf. its his go to spot. She freaked out and we left. but it makes me wonder if just wanted drama.
Up until now she has treated me like king. super attentitive, caring, and does alot for me.
HOWEVER,
Our sex life has sucked. The first time we were super drunk. she made a few comments during sex asking me when i was going to get hard lol, i figured i just had whiskey dick and didnt think about it after. The 2nd time she was super intense about making me get off, so i got nervous and couldnt.
The 3rd time she freaked out right off the bat that i wasnt hard and said sex flat out doesnt work for us. I told her i was just nervous as i really liked her adn she said well, lets wait a few months until your more comfortable with me. i reassured ehr for a long time that i found her attractive and really cared for her.
Honestly, i had started a SSRI, so i didnt know if this was cuasing issues. So, i went to the doctor and got on cialis just to be safe. i texted her telling her about the SSRI and told gettitng on cialis. she said this isnt a big deal, and asked to not talk about it.
Things were going well, she is more or less saying she loved me at this point. We kiss, she goes out of her way to make me happy.
But i tried to ahve sex with her again and she pro actively stopped me saying i wasnt hard without even feeling my penis and how sex doesnt work for us since i cant get hard for her. and how its not a big deal , we just have to wait a few months until im comfy with her.
Since im on Cialis and was rock hard, i asked her if she wanted to be friends as i knew the penis thing wasnt the issue. She freaked out and said no, why would i say that and acted really hurt.
This happened yesterday, but she has stuck to her guns about waiting for sex for a few months. She is saying since i got so nervous and cant get hard, it just isnt working for us, and we need to wait a few months until iget more comfy.
And anytime i try to bring upt he ciais, or any of this. She just says that i make such a huge deal about sex, and its not a big deal. and we need to wait so i can be comfy about it.
I really do like her and honestly would wait IF its to build a relationship with me OR if she is insecure about sex/her body and is overreacting.
However, she hasnt been very nice about this adn was super quick to want to stop having sex for months without even really trying. So, it makes me wonder if im being used as she doesnt like to be lonely and isnt over her ex. While her red flags didnt originally bother me, they do give me alot of pause here and is making me really consider if she isnt as nice of a person as i thought she was
Haven't read all the pages of posts nor did I make it entirely through yours.
The short answer is: I predict you will end up either bankrupt, deceased, or incarcerated (or all), if you continue to know and hang out with this young lady.
Train wreck, would be the words for your future ....
I would suggest you RUN as fast and as far as you can the other direction. From reading this girl's behavior, all I could think is she's a drama queen. This is not healthy. Don't you want a healthy relationship, with a woman who loves you and is attracted to you just as much as you are to her?
"There are none so blind as those that will not see." There are more than red flags waving, there are red blankets waving. Say goodbye and save your sanity but doubt you will take our advice, most new posters don't.
I would suggest you RUN as fast and as far as you can the other direction. From reading this girl's behavior, all I could think is she's a drama queen. This is not healthy. Don't you want a healthy relationship, with a woman who loves you and is attracted to you just as much as you are to her?
i guess the only thing im tryn to think thru is the fact that i do think i may of had ED during this situation. which would explain alot of this
so yesterday, i tried to talk to her about it. and she just said "ok". and "k". and more or less said that i was making a big deal out of eerything.
so, i got frustrated and said cant deal done.
she immediately responded that i broke her heart. and that it was just when she was starting to trust me and how im like all the other guys
so i was like, we can talk about it, i like you too, i felt like the whole issue was easy to solve.
and she responded back that no, that i made my chocie and she is heart broken and to never talk to her again.
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so, on the night before, she had paid for our dinner, introduced me to her best friend, etc. i just dont understand her end game in this at all. like why did she invest so much, if she wasnt interested?
like i have a hard time to believe that have drunk sex one time and giving me a bj, was enough for to write me off as having ED and just chanting it over and over again lol. she just turned into a different person about sex
so yesterday, i tried to talk to her about it. and she just said "ok". and "k". and more or less said that i was making a big deal out of eerything.
so, i got frustrated and said cant deal done.
she immediately responded that i broke her heart. and that it was just when she was starting to trust me and how im like all the other guys
so i was like, we can talk about it, i like you too, i felt like the whole issue was easy to solve.
and she responded back that no, that i made my chocie and she is heart broken and to never talk to her again.
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so, on the night before, she had paid for our dinner, introduced me to her best friend, etc. i just dont understand her end game in this at all. like why did she invest so much, if she wasnt interested?
like i have a hard time to believe that have drunk sex one time and giving me a bj, was enough for to write me off as having ED and just chanting it over and over again lol. she just turned into a different person about sex
Dude she has other warning signs besides the sex.
If you were having sex with her, she's still be a super clingy cokehead moving way too fast and prone to drama.
Look at how she's acting now. This is how she handles conflict. Your point of view is different from hers so she minimizes or ignores your concerns, then when you are fed up the guilt trip/mind game starts. Suddenly you are the bad guy and she "never wants to talk to you again"? She may not mean to act this way, but she is. This is a recipe for drama and bad things.
If you were having sex with her, she's still be a super clingy cokehead moving way too fast and prone to drama.
Look at how she's acting now. This is how she handles conflict. Your point of view is different from hers so she minimizes or ignores your concerns, then when you are fed up the guilt trip/mind game starts. Suddenly you are the bad guy and she "never wants to talk to you again"? She may not mean to act this way, but she is. This is a recipe for drama and bad things.
i guess on face value, she has a good career, sweet, tries hard to spend time with me..
I do realize she had red flags. It was tough as the sex thign only happened twice. i guess if the 2nd time we have sex, she is thinks we shoudlnt have sex for months the second i say relax , im a little nervous. and the 3rd time i try, she goes on an hour long rant about me needing to be comfortable...thats a pretty bad sign.
i guess i did sacrifice alot of my standards looks wise and over looked **** of hers. so it was really just an ego blow lol
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