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Last January I made the decision to break up with my boyfriend because we wanted different things from the relationship: I wanted a future and he didn't - at least not with me - as he said that he did not feel as strongly about me as he did his ex whom he still had feelings for. After we broke up, he reconnected with her in the hopes of rekindling a romantic relationship.
The first few months after breaking things off, I was heartbroken, went no contact, and allowed myself time to grieve the end of the relationship. Now I'm happy to say that I am happy and content with my life, and although I have my lonely moments from time-to-time, I'm focusing on doing things that are uplifting and that bring me joy.
I don't try and contact the ex, but he's made attempts to contact me via email. In each case he asks me how I'm doing and says that he has some items that I've left at his place. The first time he contacted me I didn't think too much about it. When he contacted me the second time, I realized that he was making excuses to get in touch. Surprised, I responded by emailing him a polite, but brief reply telling him that I'm doing very well and to mail the items to me ( I recently bought a house and have a new address). Prior to our breaking up, I made it clear that once I have moved on from a relationship, I don't go back and try to rekindle the romance. I also made it clear that for the record, since there was no future (he also has genital herpes), I had no intention of being a booty call or a fallback girl, just in case the thought occurred to him down the road.
Each time he contacts me, within 24 hours I receive another email from one of his best female friends inviting me to add her on Facebook, or wanting to know if I'm free. When the ex and I were together, she had expressed a desire to be friends with me, but when we broke up, she became quiet, and would not respond when I wrote and asked her if she still wanted to be friends. Now all of a sudden she wants to make contact. I could be wrong, but I think that he may be putting her up to it, so I don't respond.
I don't see what's so interesting about me or my life all of a sudden that they would want to get in touch. I also figure that since he loved his previous girlfriend so much, he would be happy and content being with her and I would be the last person on his mind at this point in time.
It doesn't upset me, or make me feel bad...I just don't get it is all.
This wont help at all but in all honesty, I have apsolutely no idea what to think of it either. I think your exs friend may be trying to get in good with you because of him but theres a good chance that he isnt putting her up to it. Maybe he is wanted to get back with you and she is trying to be your buddy because she thinks you and him are going to get back together, which you have obviously no desire in doing. Just try to ignore it and ignore them and sooner or later is should should all come to a stop.
First, I don't think sharing that he has herpes is relevant to us. Second, I do believe that he is trying to send out feelers with the hope that you will say, "sure, stop by". I think you should firmly tell him that you have moved on with your life and that you are hoping that he is doing the same and that you no longer wish to maintain communication with him. Blunt, but it removes any doubt of where you are in regards to the situation.
Don't give either one of them the time of day....don't respond and if they keep emailing you block them..
You went through your grief period and they were no where to be found...now your doing better and content so the heck with them..
Personally if it was me I would block them immediately and if one of them should call on the phone just tell them " I'm sorry but I am very busy...Please don't bother me" then hang up!
I think your best bet is to ignore his phone calls and emails. You can send him one last email or pick up one more call to tell him you don't want to be in contact. Let him know that he can keep the items at his house. In reference to his friends, I would just not engage in any contact with them. Their alliances are clearly with your ex, because technically she does not owe you anything in terms of support or friendship. I feel that the ex's friend's desire to be connected to you is due to lofty reasons such as gossip and such. When you think about it, there is no real basis for you to be in contact with your ex's friend. Its hard to break up with the ex, but its even more awkward to have to deal with your ex's friends. Good luck.
Why would his friend want to be your friend just when you and him might get back in contact? Ugh, I hate nosy girls like that. Don't befriend the friend, instead block her.
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He can go give it to someone else.
