to the married people..... (wife, husband, kid, spouse)
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how do you motivate your SO to be responsible? In terms of being healthy, eating right etc. Nagging obviously doesn't work, unfortunately I tried it...
and created a bigger problem for myself.
Is there anyway you can get an adult with whom you are dependent on to not take risk that also affect you. If my employment situation where different I would not be so fearful,but being unemployed, for a long time now, and totally dependent I have tried in desperation so things that have not worked, only made things worse....
any suggestions?
I firmly believe you can't change people unless they themselves wish to change. You can't force a spouse(or anyone, for that matter), to lose weight, exercise or eat healthy. Your post is a little vague, more details about exactly what you wish to change would help.
Like Ulysses stated, nothing will happen unless they change by themselves. I've seen it happen many, many times in my own life. The only thing I can say is - actions speak louder than words.
The only thing you can do is set an example for yourself, without saying anything. Are you exercising and eating right yourself? You can only hope your example motivates your SO. Unfortunately in my situation(s), I've seen it both work and not work on different occasions, with different people. It all depends on the other person.
Sorry about the vagueness. My spouse works out on the road, so the only time I can control the diet is when hes in town. I am pretty good about my diet and exercise but not a fanatic. His job is dependent on staying healthy, but lately he has been eating only cheese burgers and fries, and a lot of ice cream!
I know he is stressed (we all are arent we?) but its going on a lot longer then a phase and is endangering our well being. My attempts to ??? talk about this have only made it worse.....I guess I was hoping someone might have an idea how I could motivate with out nagging (anymore then I already have)because that is really not how I want our relationship to be. I am not new to married life, but not that old either......thank you for your replys!
how do you motivate your SO to be responsible? In terms of being healthy, eating right etc. Nagging obviously doesn't work, unfortunately I tried it...
and created a bigger problem for myself.
Is there anyway you can get an adult with whom you are dependent on to not take risk that also affect you. If my employment situation where different I would not be so fearful,but being unemployed, for a long time now, and totally dependent I have tried in desperation so things that have not worked, only made things worse....
any suggestions?
This is why people should learn more about a person before marriage.
My husband and I spend weeks apart at a time. Since we were married he has gained a lot of weight. I know if we were together it would be a lot easier for me to monitor his weight, unfortunately for now, he's on the honor system.
He knows his weight is totally out of control, we discuss it frequently, only now - his business colleagues are concerned for his health as well.
One sent an email to me - yesterday in fact - that he plans to help my hubbs along with an exercise and diet regimen.
Knowing my husband, he does what he wants to do - despite my input. I can suggest, nag, tease, beg, plead, nothing works.
The motivation for him to eat well and exercise has to begin and end with him.
When we're together we exercise for an hour per day. When we're together I monitor his diet and stress to him how important it is for him to continue our progress and take care of himself while we're apart. And honestly, until we're both living together in the same city that's the best we can do for now.
At 265 pounds he's got at least 80 pounds to lose. I have noticed a change in him lately, he seems conscious of how much weight he has gained and needs to lose to feel more comfortable in his own skin. This is a mental change recently in him that will spur him to lose weight, exercise and eat better. He never had that "self recognition" before - I think he now "realizes" that his health is suffering (pain in knees and feet), more winded, etc., and he's beginning to care more about himself.
For your husband, as well as with mine - ultimately that change in thinking about their weight and health has to start with them.
My wife and I have a very active lifestyle and our kid keeps us moving. Because of some my wife's ailments (RA, Sjogren's Syndrome and possible Lupus) I am always pushing her to eat right and exercise because it helps with her symptoms. This in turn pushes me to exercise and eat right. We have eliminated sugary snacks, gluten and any kind of soda. What a difference that has made.
Sorry about the vagueness. My spouse works out on the road, so the only time I can control the diet is when hes in town. I am pretty good about my diet and exercise but not a fanatic. His job is dependent on staying healthy, but lately he has been eating only cheese burgers and fries, and a lot of ice cream!
I know he is stressed (we all are arent we?) but its going on a lot longer then a phase and is endangering our well being. My attempts to ??? talk about this have only made it worse.....I guess I was hoping someone might have an idea how I could motivate with out nagging (anymore then I already have)because that is really not how I want our relationship to be. I am not new to married life, but not that old either......thank you for your replys!
If he is stressed, his outlet is in eating tasty foods (to make himself feel better). If he were to stop that, it would be even worse on his psyche. You can't change him. The only way is to find ways to relieve his stress and make his life happier so that he doesn't have to rely on junk foods for that.
But really, you cannot protect yourself against life's problems. Don't worry about. He could get into the accident the next day and all this "healthy eating" would be all for nothing. Life has no guarantees. Remember, you can't control the things outside of your control. There is a saying: God grant me serenity to accept things I cannot change.
One thing you CAN change is to not be so dependent on him. Try to learn a skill or something so that if he ever leaves you (through death or divorce or bad eating habits or anything else), you might be prepared better for life. You can change this part. But it's too hard. And you probably wouldn't want to. Just like he wouldn't want to change his diet...
This is why people should learn more about a person before marriage.
Just how was the OP supposed to know her husband was going to be going out on the road at a future point in time?
A crystal ball?
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