Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I fully get the NEW ERA philosophy of absolute equality between men and women. But, in the animal kingdom the male is often expected to spoil and court the female. And despite the new era philosophy where women want to be treated like guys, this new philosophy actually benefits men more than women.
I don't know what "new era" you are talking about. If it's equal rights you are referring to, that absolutely does NOT mean "absolute equality between men and women". Are you referring to the Equal Rights Amendment? That means exactly what it says. Equal rights means equal pay for equal work. No sexual discrimination. No sexual harassment. Women deserve the same legal rights as a man. I don't know any woman that wants to be treated "exactly as a man". That's nuts. And impossible, in fact.
For some reason a few men want to think that it means that women should no longer be treated as a lady. I think those guys want to be able to not have to do anything special in the way of treating their ladyfriends in any special manner...and yanno - you don't have to do that if you don't wanna. We don't mind. Really. Because there will always be a guy out there that WILL treat us like we mean something to them, and he's the one we'll want to be with.
The fact that you seem somewhat proud that your wife supported you because you couldn't keep a job is so damn embarrassing ..You say some years you made more than her? Well why cant you keep a job? She may have never said it to your face that you were less of a man but you are! Get your life right and man up
I think it's you who needs to man up instead of putting down others on the internet.
Love... that's another topic altogether. I don't feel crazy about him, but I like hanging out with him. I asked my therapist if I should keep looking for Mr Perfect who, in an ideal world, would sweep me off my feet and would be my everything.
My therapist confirmed what I already knew- there is a difference between the ideal world in our head and the daily reality. Very few relationships are based on that crazy movie love. My therapist confirmed another thing: you choose the best of what's available or you agree to be alone, waiting for The Prince, who may or may not come. I would rather not get to be 80 and single just because I saved myself for an imaginary prince.
So yes, my bf is a nice guy, I care about him, I want him happy. I am not swept off my feet by him, but I would rather hang out with him than be totally alone. And I'm not looking to get married
Based on what you're writing her and in your OP I think the harsh reality is is that you two are just too different in your life plans. He's a laid back guy, happy with simpler things, you're a bit more driven, both are fine, we tend to make judgements too easily and label people just because they aren't as driven. I'm in my later 40's and I gotta tell ya, while having ambitions to do well in life work wise is good, be careful for what you wish for, sometimes the corner office and the stresses of being in a higher position work wise can wear on a person after bustin your hump for a lot of years. I think in some ways your BF's approach to life is good, simpler, less "going on", but whatever that's just my opinion on it.
It terms of the bolded, IDK, your therapist isn't really right on this one, he's right to a degree but truth be told, you need to have a few more clicks toward really loving your BF, romance movie style, no, but more than you have now. I don't think he's the one, he appears to be the one for just right now.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,702 posts, read 41,834,200 times
Reputation: 41413
Quote:
Originally Posted by reen79
The fact that you seem somewhat proud that your wife supported you because you couldn't keep a job is so damn embarrassing ..You say some years you made more than her? Well why cant you keep a job? She may have never said it to your face that you were less of a man but you are! Get your life right and man up
Maybe he is not caught in super masculinity and is proud to have a woman who held him down when he needed it and is damn sure that that woman loves him. That is what a solid relationship should be in my eyes holding each other down and making sure your partner is good.
Your 30s are a time when you have the energy, stamina and drive to achieve. Kind of alarming that this seems absent in this guy. Taking the easy way out - living on a GI bill, hanging around during the day - is a BIG RED FLAG. It's called laziness, and with age, it only gets worse; never better.
This is the kind of guy who will take a day off for a hangnail when he finally gets a job. .
If OP is already getting irritated, the relationship doesn't sound too compatible to me.
I have a family member that did something similar after he got out of the military and his wife completely supported him. She did not work while she raised the kids and after he got out it was her turn to go to work while he stayed home some and went to school on the G.I. bill.
Perhaps you need to realize it's not all about you and you're probably another brainwashed woman that thinks all men are supposed to be a certain way.
In the US the general consensus is women can be whatever they want or do whatever they want as long as she's happy but men are supposed to conform and do something they hate or that doesn't make them happy just to appease society.
If he wants to be a police officer too bad..doesn't pay enough, too dangerous, what he wants is irrelevant.
For men it's either conform or be cast out...just like the Rush song.
Last edited by wanderlust76; 12-24-2016 at 12:12 PM..
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,702 posts, read 41,834,200 times
Reputation: 41413
Quote:
Originally Posted by aquietpath
Your 30s are a time when you have the energy, stamina and drive to achieve. Kind of alarming that this seems absent in this guy. Taking the easy way out - living on a GI bill, hanging around during the day - is a BIG RED FLAG. It's called laziness, and with age, it only gets worse; never better.
This is the kind of guy who will take a day off for a hangnail when he finally gets a job. .
If OP is already getting irritated, the relationship doesn't sound too compatible to me.
Sorry, anyone who earns a GI bill or any other military assistance for college didn't earn it by being lazy, coming from a USAF brat. He is a college student, NOT lazy. This is not a lazy guy OP is dealing with.
The fact that you seem somewhat proud that your wife supported you because you couldn't keep a job is so damn embarrassing ..You say some years you made more than her? Well why cant you keep a job? She may have never said it to your face that you were less of a man but you are! Get your life right and man up
Wow!!! Assumptions much?
Losing a job is common and occurs for various reasons. From that, you don't know if he lost his job because he got fired or got laid off because the company he was working for fell under.
I am with him that marriage and relationships is some kind of partnership. This is not some kind of servitude where the man does everything and the woman just sits on her butt and gets spoiled.
He didn't even say anything about not being able to hold a job. But yeah, just because a wife supports his man at some point, that means all he does is sit around being lazy...
Sorry, anyone who earns a GI bill or any other military assistance for college didn't earn it by being lazy, coming from a USAF brat. He is a college student, NOT lazy. This is not a lazy guy OP is dealing with.
Definitely, Lazy would be the last thing I would think about someone from the military.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
