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OP's logic is right. I've got a buddy who's in a marriage with a woman who won't eff him anymore because she's not attracted to him. It's gonna be a mess (they've got three school aged kids) but I told him to kick her to the wind. There's A LOT that goes unto a healthy relationship, but mutual attraction is a bare minimum. No one should ever have to put up with that. Far better to be single and looking for someone who does appreciate what you look like.
Often, there are two sides to this ages-old story.
They marry, the guy stops treating the woman as anything special because he doesn't have to anymore, never feels like going out anymore, he lets himself go, farts in front of Netflix all night giggling at the. Same. Stupid. Movie. He's. Already. Watched. Ten thousand. Times. ...and then reaches over for a feel.
Amazingly, she says "no." OMG DUMP HER!
Not saying the wife can't be part of this...it takes two...and often, both let things slide...and from the wife's POV, all that sliding is very un-sexy. Sorry. Dur.
Well, that's what he relayed to me. I'm not, nor do I want to be, anyone's Dr. Phil so I told him to grab a grain of salt, but if that was the situation and it was me, pack your bags, lady.
Yeah, no you wouldn't.
Because with this attitude, you'd KNOW it wasn't all her fault and you'd also know there was no way in hell that you would be able to find anyone like her again, now that you're older, possibly chunkier, more tired, less cute and even more short-tempered than in younger years.
Location: Phoenix, Arizona, USA, Earth, Solar System, Milky Way Galaxy, Dimension C-132
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
Often, there are two sides to this ages-old story.
Wasn't privy to the other side (didn't necessarily want the side of it I got), but either way, I frankly don't care about the details. If you're in a relationship / married and there's no action, someone goes. Why would either party want that crap?
In this particular sitch, she doesn't work, doesn't drive, and doesn't own the house, so regardless of how much farting is going on, she needs to sack up and leave, IMO. If they want to play therapy and try and work it out, that's on them. I've never seen it work, however.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The_Thallest
Wasn't privy to the other side (didn't necessarily want the side of it I got), but either way, I frankly don't care about the details. If you're in a relationship / married and there's no action, someone goes. Why would either party want that crap?
Maybe addressing the why things changed and trying to fix a problem might be a better solution than just kicking someone out. Just a thought. Something changed, what?
But if the person was never attracted to them and its just finally coming out, then yeah, they should never have married. I've never seen that in real life, I've just read about it here.
Wasn't privy to the other side (didn't necessarily want the side of it I got), but either way, I frankly don't care about the details. If you're in a relationship / married and there's no action, someone goes. Why would either party want that crap?
In this particular sitch, she doesn't work, doesn't drive, and doesn't own the house, so regardless of how much farting is going on, she needs to sack up and leave, IMO. If they want to play therapy and try and work it out, that's on them. I've never seen it work, however.
Location: Phoenix, Arizona, USA, Earth, Solar System, Milky Way Galaxy, Dimension C-132
15 posts, read 8,179 times
Reputation: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
Why doesn't HE sack up and leave?
There must be some reason.
I dunno. He owns the house so he ain't leaving anything. I'm guessing it's some sense of responsibility thing, and fear of kicking her out to the cold (she doesn't really have any close friends, family is back in Japan). He asked me what I would do and I told him. I'd tell her the same. If there's no passion, part ways. I've been through this once myself. That's just my opinion, though, and I don't pretend I'm right about anything.
I dunno. He owns the house so he ain't leaving anything. I'm guessing it's some sense of responsibility thing, and fear of kicking her out to the cold (she doesn't really have any close friends, family is back in Japan). He asked me what I would do and I told him. I'd tell her the same. If there's no passion, part ways. I've been through this once myself. That's just my opinion, though, and I don't pretend I'm right about anything.
And this general mindset has worked pretty well for you so far, so it's a sensible philosophy that others should follow, too? I'm curious about how this all went down. This is based on a similar real life experience where your woman did not perform as expected, so without blnking or pausing for breath you to!d her to "pack a bag" and today, you're happy once again?
There is a point to my saying that. I am not being a snot. My point is, you are attempting to tell other people to toss their relationships based on their lack of sexual satisfaction no matter what the cause of it is. That really needs to be based on something legitimate, or else it is kind of an irresponsible thing to do.
I'm talking mainly physical looks I suppose where if a woman prefers tall & muscular guys but would give the short & thin guy a chance is it ever really worth doing it for the guy or would he just be wasting his time? I just think I'd feel like I'm being settled for if she preferred tall & muscular when I'm short & also thin currently. I guess I just want to feel like the woman I'm with finds me just as physically attractive as I do her & not like she has to settle for me when I know she would prefer someone taller & in better physical shape. So is it ever worth it for a guy to get with a woman that isn't in her preferences?
Unless the other person is just a bombshell without makeup, most people just look like ordinary people especially when they wake up in the morning. Whether or not a strong relationship will develop is based on the non-physical attraction. In fact, I would wager that most happily married couples will tell you that it's the OTHER qualities that their spouses have that make them physically attractive, or enhances their physical attractiveness. And by the same token, it's also these non-physical qualities (or lack thereof) that can turn a physically attractive person into someone who is "ugly."
If she is willing to date you, then (usually) that's a good enough sign that she finds *something* attractive about you. Otherwise why bother? I think for most people, physical attraction just enables two people to be more willing to give each other a chance. And once you start dating and getting to know the other person, any healthy relationship should evolve from the non-physical attraction between a couple. If all you have is physical attraction, it is likely not going to last. But if you already have a chance to date a women, why not go for it? Either take the opportunity to develop the relationship and show her that you have other good qualities to offer besides physical appearance, or move on.
By what that poster said everything belongs the guy he mentioned. If it's true, she might be odd one out.
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