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Parenting? Relationships? Photography? Where to put this question.
I'm not sure but since it's an aspect of my relationship, I'll start here. Mod feel free to move if needed.
So anyway my question is this.
Why is the lady so indifferent-and even avers to taking baby pictures and preps?
We are expecting our first together in just a few weeks. I'm an avid hobbyist photographer (gotten many compliments on them) and it's something I love doing. As we approach our due date, I've wanted to take some momma baby bump pictures. I almost had to drag her into doing them.
Today is Christmas.
One of the things I wanted to do is take pictures and shoot a little video. Including one that's a "Merry Christmas/Welcome To The Family" intro that I'd like to include for a future gift to the baby, on this special day-with the Tree as the backdrop.
You see one of the things I want to do is make a little time capsule for her: pictures, videos, mementos-even a newspaper of the actual day (when it comes) and present it to the baby on her 18th birthday.
I wish my parents had the foresight to do that for me. I personally think that would be really cool.
From what I've seen-family photography-especially baby and baby bump pictures are a huge business. Just on my local "Buy/Sell" Facebook group, someone looks for a photographer and they get inundated with hundreds of offers.
My woman?
Seems like she could absolutely care less about all of this. Perhaps she is even actually against the idea. She hasn't been hostile towards it, but very passive-aggressive in doing everything she can to avoid it.
When I ran the time capsule idea past her, the response I got was just a tepid "Oh that's nice" and that was it. No outward signs of excitement and certainly no offers to contribute to it.
She seems to be the type that gets so caught up and so consumed in the moment that she places little to no value in preserving what should be once in a lifetime irreplaceable memories.
"Babe: I'd like to take some pictures of you"
"Oh well I have to do laundry/make dinner/go to the store/take a nap", ad nauseum.
And so I don't. It's obvious she's not interested. So I just give up.
When I do bring out the camera anyway, she's quite visibly annoyed.
I've tried to tell her what I've seen happen time and time again:
It's the people who get irritated at someone holding a camera who are also the first ones ten or twenty years hence to want to see them....and are most grateful.
She doesn't seem to get this.
She seems to have all the other bases lined up: crib, clothes, rocking chair, baby creams, etc with military precision.
But immortalizing and documenting the event?
Shows absolutely no interest whatsoever.
Is there a reason for that?
You know anyone else who has no desire to record or remember their lives and the important events?
It's obvious she's not interested. I get that.
The purpose of this post is to try and understand WHY she's not interested.
Maybe because she is not giving birth to a *bump* so there is no need to take a photo of it.
Maybe she does not like photos in general.
How about you leave her alone and quit bullying her into photos she does not want.
You're married and expecting a baby and the topic of pics has never come up? She's never acted "shy" when you wanted to take her picture before now? Well, maybe she's not Kardashian-like and wants to be seen half naked with her big belly front and center - she's a bit more demure than that?
And why, if this is such a huge hobby of yours and you've wanted to do this that you're only NOW springing it on her? You didn't want to also document the "growing of the bump" from day 1? What is your intention with pics/video? Just for the two of you to view? Just family? Just friends? The whole wide world? Maybe you need to think about it and reassure her.
You need to back up and do some major communicating. If you want to youtube the birth you're gonna have serious issues. It is HER body - stop pushing this!
Maybe because she has to "do laundry/make dinner/go to the store/take a nap" and all you're doing is chasing her with a camera?
Also... you're having a baby with her and you can't sit down and say, "I would really like to do this. What can I do to make you feel more comfortable with it? How can we compromise?"
In the end, it's her body you want to photograph, and she probably isn't feeling that photogenic at the moment.
I wouldn't want anyone taking pictures of my pregnant belly either. The BABY is the point, not the stretch marks, the uncomfortable distension, the extra pounds, etc. Wait and take pics of the baby.
From what I've seen-family photography-especially baby and baby bump pictures are a huge business. Just on my local "Buy/Sell" Facebook group, someone looks for a photographer and they get inundated with hundreds of offers.
That, sir, means there's a lot more supply than demand for baby bump photos.
From what I've seen-family photography-especially baby and baby bump pictures are a huge business. Just on my local "Buy/Sell" Facebook group, someone looks for a photographer and they get inundated with hundreds of offers.
When I do bring out the camera anyway, she's quite visibly annoyed.
She doesn't seem to get this.
Not a rocket science - you are thinking of making business of her pregnancy, while she is big, tired and overwhelmed with chores like doing laundry/making dinner/going to the store or perhaps catching a free minute to take a nap.
You are nagging and forcing her to pose and smile for the pics, and envisioning the hundreds of offers you would get for the pictures.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610
Maybe because she is not giving birth to a *bump* so there is no need to take a photo of it.
Maybe she does not like photos in general.
How about you leave her alone and quit bullying her into photos she does not want.
^^^ This!
And yes, she get's it! But you seem to not get it at all.
It takes two to do it, and she is not willing to cooperate. Have some decency and leave her alone. Use your energy, and try to help her with the chores, so she can relax for a bit. That's what loving husband should do...
Maybe because she is not giving birth to a *bump* so there is no need to take a photo of it.
Maybe she does not like photos in general.
How about you leave her alone and quit bullying her into photos she does not want.
This. Can't be stressed enough.
If someone doesn't get excited about taking pix, or doesn't seem to want to, stop nagging and trying to bring out cameras and get shots. I hate pictures myself, and I can't stand people who just wanna stand around taking pictures, then putting them up online for the world to see. Even telling them you don't like taking pix, and they either beg or laugh about it, then sneak and take them when you aren't looking.
This kind of thing makes me avoid my family. Next year, I probably won't be going to see them for Christmas because of that.
And if your wife does like photos, then as stated above, she's pregnant, feeling bloated and tired, with chores to do. Now her husband is hounding her to sit around taking pictures. Do something more productive rather than adding to her annoyances.
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