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You wouldn't be sent to frou-frou places, because when they met with you you would have told them you're not a frou-frou person, and they also wouldn't set you up with a woman who IS a frou-frou person. That's the point, personalized matchmaking based on having met you and knowing what you like.
I would tell them upfront I'm a diner girl personally, but a sports bar or a place like Ruby Tuesdays would be fine with me, too.
I notice you make a lot of judgements and assumptions about people and things in your threads, and I only point it out because I see them as self-limiting beliefs that will hold you back from a lot of the joys in life.
True or not in those other threads, in this case, you can blame it on the advertising/media, lol. IJL radio and TV ads sounded very, as I put it, frou-frou. I know they're targeting a specific demographic, but I got a negative impression of their product, at least based on the ads alone. It's still reassuring to know that I won't have to dig out my three-piece suit and get a car title loan, just to get sent on one of their lunches.
So after they match you and sit you down in front of a stranger, and charge you $1000 for the privilege, do you have to pay for your lunch too? And if so, just yours, or both yours and your date's? Paying $25+ for one or $50+ for both can really add up, if you count all the dates they send you on. Because I'm sure they don't send you to Denny's or IHOP.
It seems like men who can afford $1000 to get matched, and/or all those expensive lunches, probably wouldn't need a matchmaking service in the first place.
Maybe one day when you can afford a service like that you'll understand how valuable your time becomes.
People who make that kinda cash often have very demanding jobs in an office, or very time consuming businesses to run from various locations. If they have an office job, the idea of a quick escape from the grind to meet a hopefully attractive woman has a certain appeal. Certainly beats going to bars after work and all of the shenanigans that entails.
OP, I was about to try it, but I ended up meeting a woman who I eventually married before pulling the trigger on it. If you are frustrated with bars, or other singles scenes, then I'd say give it a go.
Glad some other people responded because I was having trouble justifying them on my own. I'm not advertising for IJL. I'm just saying that it worked for me.
I do get it, lol. I meant "real" as in opposite of "phony", not opposite of "virtual". And "entitlement" referred to being wined and dined, and/or getting intimate quickly.
I don't know if I like the idea of lunch dates. In my work field (IT), long lunches with an appetizer, entree, dessert, and wine are a pipe dream. And it feels kind of frou-frou as well, given the membership cost and the restaurants I'd be sent to (like a $25-a-plate steakhouse, rather than a Chipotle). That's not exactly "just" lunch, lol. Plus, people make a decision about their romantic candidate within 5 minutes anyway (a.k.a. "chemistry"), so perhaps speed dating is another worthy option to try.
But it sounds like IJL worked out for you pretty well. If you're currently in a relationship, I hope it lasts. I've started attending singles' event with a professional dating service last year, although all I've had with it so far was beginner's luck.
Wow man, you are being rather negative. Not everyone has the same situation as you. From my understanding of the service, you, and the woman they connect you with, can choose to go to Chipotle. You can then impress her with your vast knowledge of their extensive menu options
That sounds good so far. But how "real" were they? Did your dates seem genuinely happy to have lunch with you, or were there any, dare I say it, signs of entitlement on their part?
Having read other posts, I don't think It's Just Lunch is for me. Lunch, especially at the fancy restaurants IJL clients often go to, feels overly formal. Especially for something driven by anything and everything except logic: romantic/sexual attraction between people. IJL has that forced "here's you, here's your date, now start falling in love!" feel to it. Not to mention, having paid the obscenely high membership fee, some people might feel compelled to "recoup the cost" by pushing for intimacy, sexual or relational, faster than they would in an "organic" situation.
I'd be more intrigued by Events and Adventures, which is essentially a glorified, romanticized Meetup to bring singles together. But that's better left to its own separate thread.
I actually met my wife through E&A, but I don't know if I'd recommend it to others. I consider myself lucky.
1) A lot of the events I went to were sausage fests, and my wife would tell you a lot of the events that were geared towards women (wine tastings, pinot and palette type events) were filled up by *gasps* women with no men in sight.
2) The price of admission is lower, which does increase the size of the pool, but most of them just weren't at the same level in their careers or shared the same interests as I did. That in and of itself isn't bad. In fact my wife and I had completely different professions and were at different levels, but it is one less bit of common ground to start from. Fortunately, we have other common interests.
3) A lot of the dudes were kinda creepy according to my wife, and I really didn't find a lot of the women to be particularly attractive.
I don't have a definitive answer for you OP, I'm just trying to kill time before I can leave work for the weekend, but if I were in your shoes, I'd give IJL a shot. If you're like me, you'll spend $2K at a bar over the course of the next two years pretty easily.
I did the Lock and Key singles events which are national thing they have them in cities all over the country. They're a cool idea but they do not want to regulate the M:F ratio. I would always get there early and sit at the bar and watch people come in. There would be like 4 or 5 guys roll in for every woman. There was so many creepers and it was such a sausagefest it was impossible to make any headway even if you were normal.
Never used it but personally think it's great for people with actual careers who live on their own. I think it's more geared towards professionals, as opposed to people who just have jobs.
Never used it but personally think it's great for people with actual careers who live on their own. I think it's more geared towards professionals, as opposed to people who just have jobs.
I'm a professional I just don't have one of the buzz word trendy advanced degrees or occupations that women like a guy to have. That's the only thing that worries me I think some of the women are going to be snobs that discriminate against me just because I don't have a graduate degree.
Women do that a lot there was even a thread on here about it that got closed. A lot of women work in education or the liberal arts where a grad degree is like a requirement almost... fields like IT and so on aren't like that.
Last edited by wanderlust76; 12-30-2016 at 02:32 PM..
And to those who say it's a scam, remember, 95% of your time on OLD is a complete waste of time. That's a scam.
Not one single person out of 17-20 I met through that dating service was a scam.
How do you know that your dates were not paid struggling actresses? Do you have an option to chose either lunch or dinner? Regular work day lunch for me is usually a quick affair so I don't know if it would worse it for me to meet for lunch. Unless maybe on a Friday...
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