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I'm pretty hard to embarrass so thought it was funny but it did make the more straight laced lady blush when I introduced her to my "Friend" and she politely asked "How do you know each other?"
Before I could say anything he answered....
"Mostly horizontally"
Had the perfect place picked out for a rendezvous with the then girlfriend. Dead end one lane country road surrounded by acres of scrub land. Quiet summer Monday night, late. Just knew nobody was going to be out there although the weekend's were always crazy nuts with car parties at a pullover spot or two.
Headed down to the end, nobody anywhere along the mile or so, perfect. Started the drive out maybe an hour later and saw a car parked up ahead. Figured somebody else had the same idea, no biggie. Turned the corner and the lights of a dozen or so cars and trucks came on, horns started to blow, people started to cheer and shout my name. Seems everybody decided to celebrate another friend's birthday out in one of the fields and somebody had spotted my custom Ford over the hill.
The girlfriend, an out of towner, sunk as low into the floorboards as she could, somebody handed me a beer through the window as I drove by, a couple of the local girls peaked in and asked if I was coming back for them. Oh my.......
It was 2ND year of college. My now-ex and I were messing around in his bedroom (he had an apartment style set-up with roommates). He finally found the "spot" and I was ... um... very appreciative and 100% in the moment. This went on for maybe 5 or so minutes. When that was finished, I realized that all 5 of his dorm mates were home... and they had guests! I ran out of there so fast. Thank God none of them made eye contact with me.
I wore my shirt inside out and went down and met my boss for breakfast. He was just smiling without telling me anything. When I got back to my hotel room, I realized the mistake. Yelp, the guy was chasing after me, he was my boss, but no hanky pinky at work or at this trip.
Some people are interested in "the chase". It's hard-wired in our brains.
Yeah, I'm definitely not, lol. If a woman makes it clear that she isn't interested, the chase/courtship or whatever is over, lol. Rather put that time into going after a woman that returns my interest.
My most awkward experience with the opposite sex was well when I was like I want to say 7 or 8 years old? It was way before I even knew what sex was.
A neighbor girl had a crush on me and would follow me around everywhere. Like my shadow, always around me all day. We were playing in my room and I had to change clothes. I went into a closet to change clothes because I was getting naked and she followed me into the closet and talked to me while I got naked undressed and changed into a new set of clothes. I was going into the closet to get some privacy while I changed clothes, but she followed me right in. She thought nothing of it and like my shadow continued to follow me around all day and talk to me.
I didn't think of much of it at that time as a kid, but as I got older I found it rather odd
I hope this one makes you feel better about yourselves.
When I was 11, I was walking home from school and I had to blow my nose. I decided to do the "Irish hankerchief" that I had seen some homeless guy on the street do a while back. It was wildly unsuccessful. I had a goober hanging about a foot long when this guy bumped into me. He said "Eww."
And then there was the time in 5th grade that I farted right in front of my crush.
I have stepped up my game considerably since then.
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