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I think it is insulting to my intelligence when women say "you have so much to offer", knowing damn well if I were interested in them they'd reject me. I resist the urge to call them out on it and just nod.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter
No I wouldn't, I'd rather have someone say I'm a POS than insult my intelligence to my face and give me false hope by saying empty compliments like "you have so much to offer" when I know they think I'll get a date when hell freezes over.
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Originally Posted by ChessieMom
You think it's funny to offer encouragement? What would you prefer them to say to you?
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Originally Posted by KonaldDuth
My point exactly.
Hey!!! Nothing wrong with a little Brutal honesty.
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Originally Posted by 49ersfan27
This is an excellent post. If a female friend of mine called me ugly she'd be gone in an instant. I prefer being around people who lift me up and not tear me down at my lowest points.
As for me, I'm at the point where I don't care all that much about anything to do with my appearance (as long as I look and smell clean). I know what I'm doing. I like it when someone takes it upon himself to lecture me about my looks. I turn it around and give him the lecture about how I am here to work and not fool around. I ain't got time for that. I'm strictly business. While I am basic on certain days, people will tell you that I can kill it pretty good on a good day.
...besides, I have enough of my own ladies in the type of relationships I can handle. He obviously has enough time to focus on my looks.
As someone that's never been in a relationship before, that one DEFINITELY annoys me, lol.
I can understand that. I personally just ignore it. But I can see how it could raise up frustrations. I've had a woman that I had a crush on say that to me one time. Talk about a ton of bricks.
I can understand that. I personally just ignore it. But I can see how it could raise up frustrations. I've had a woman that I had a crush on say that to me one time. Talk about a ton of bricks.
There's a punch in the gut for you.
Haha.
I mean, I get that they mean well when they say it, but it's still annoying to hear - lol.
I mean, I get that they mean well when they say it, but it's still annoying to hear - lol.
If it helps, women say the same things to their female friends too. Lol. And yes, it can be annoying and frustrating when you can't seem to find someone.
A person can have a lot to offer but not be the "type" an opposite friend prefers. A man who wants to be a confirmed bachelor wouldn't date a woman who was a real friend if she wanted to marry and have kids right? But he could still think she has a lot to offer a man with the same goals. A woman could have a friend who is a smoker. She can enjoy his friendship but not want to live with or kiss a smoker if she is repelled by smoking right? But she can still think he's a wonderful person and would be a good match with someone who can tolerate smoke. People have friends who are brothers or sisters to them. My boyfriend has a female friend who is like a sister to him. He was single and she was at the same time yet never dated each other (in fact she gave him dating tips about me!)
You're using intelligence and logic, which will go over the heads of at least 50% of the guys here.
If it helps, women say the same things to their female friends too. Lol. And yes, it can be annoying and frustrating when you can't seem to find someone.
They don't understand, or do but don't want to tell you, that although you may "have a lot going for you", that doesn't cancel out what you have going against you.
They don't understand, or do but don't want to tell you, that although you may "have a lot going for you", that doesn't cancel out what you have going against you.
It basically just a "chin up" to help you keep your heart in the search. Kind of like the same way a coach tries to encourage his team if it's losing but still can pull through and win. Do men never encourage their male friends when it comes to women? I know men encourage their female friends as I had some who tried to help me back when I was unlucky in love. Or is it taboo among men to encourage each other?
I think it is insulting to my intelligence when women say "you have so much to offer", knowing damn well if I were interested in them they'd reject me. I resist the urge to call them out on it and just nod.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter
No I wouldn't, I'd rather have someone say I'm a POS than insult my intelligence to my face and give me false hope by saying empty compliments like "you have so much to offer" when I know they think I'll get a date when hell freezes over.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TJenkins602
LOL!!!
I especially like when they say "You'll meet someone." or something similar to that.
....I don't think you'd be satisfied with ANYTHING they could say because you're self-hating. Hopefully your friends will stick by you in the meantime.
A person can have a lot to offer but not be the "type" an opposite friend prefers. A man who wants to be a confirmed bachelor wouldn't date a woman who was a real friend if she wanted to marry and have kids right? But he could still think she has a lot to offer a man with the same goals. A woman could have a friend who is a smoker. She can enjoy his friendship but not want to live with or kiss a smoker if she is repelled by smoking right? But she can still think he's a wonderful person and would be a good match with someone who can tolerate smoke. People have friends who are brothers or sisters to them. My boyfriend has a female friend who is like a sister to him. He was single and she was at the same time yet never dated each other (in fact she gave him dating tips about me!)
You've got it all wrong. Women are supposed to just date any guy who is "nice," has a job, a car, isn't an outward douchebag, has some other basic or vague qualities. Women shouldn't have "types" because it limits the available options for the "nice" blokes, because they always go for guys who aren't like them (Henry Cavill-looking corporate type with a Christian Grey personality). Women need to discard all the nonsense feminist thinking about having options and having criteria and choose nice guys over those "obvious" douchebags. It should be like it was in the 50s when all a man had to be was quasi-nice, have a job, and attend church service and go through the motions of married life. Back when women were "fine" with mediocrity. Back when women, as a whole, didn't have true autonomy or options, which is to say they couldn't, didn't, get a say in true compatibility or type beyond the superficial stuff.
Back when women had to settle for a "just a nice guy with a job" (who probably wasn't really nice).
One can recognize nice qualities in someone, for someone else. I can like someone as a person, see their positive or strong qualities, and realize we're not compatible.
You've got it all wrong. Women are supposed to just date any guy who is "nice," has a job, a car, isn't an outward douchebag, has some other basic or vague qualities. Women shouldn't have "types" because it limits the available options for the "nice" blokes, because they always go for guys who aren't like them (Henry Cavill-looking corporate type with a Christian Grey personality). Women need to discard all the nonsense feminist thinking about having options and having criteria and choose nice guys over those "obvious" douchebags. It should be like it was in the 50s when all a man had to be was quasi-nice, have a job, and attend church service and go through the motions of married life. Back when women were "fine" with mediocrity. Back when women, as a whole, didn't have true autonomy or options, which is to say they couldn't, didn't, get a say in true compatibility or type beyond the superficial stuff.
Back when women had to settle for a "just a nice guy with a job" (who probably wasn't really nice).
One can recognize nice qualities in someone, for someone else. I can like someone as a person, see their positive or strong qualities, and realize we're not compatible.
I think you almost have a point (or you do and I'm missing it), but if much of what you say is true about women having to get with sorta OK guys out of social and economic necessity, then what happened to the men they would have dated if they had options? If there are two types of men, to grossly oversimplify, and those types are the decent but otherwise not so attractive guy, and the more attractive guy, what happened to the more attractive guy back when most women ended up with not so attractive guy? There must have been a surplus of men who by today's standards would be considered pretty interesting and attractive. And yet that wasn't the case
Last edited by homina12; 01-02-2017 at 11:22 PM..
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