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That's like telling someone they will only ever be a substitution to the real thing.
It may not be the case in reality, but it defiantly and profoundly shows where their mind is at in this moment in time. If you are the one looking to stir up a romance with them, I would proceed cautiously.
I'm talking to this guy I have a great connection with. He then talks about his ex gf who passed away. He said she was "the one". Not exactly sure how I should feel.
Haven't read all the responses......but IMO this dude needs more time of his own. Not yours as far as "bought in".....
Of course a deceased ex is a very-very-VERY sensitive issue. Having attended the immediate death of a lot of folks over the course of the line of work........let me tell you that the ties are unexplainable.
So.....if it hasn't been covered....tread lightly..... but hopefully as a friend.
I brought it up and asked him to be honest if he was over his ex and were ready to date again. He laughed and said "of course". He said he really likes me and has never felt this way before. I think I have my answer, but my guards are definitely up.
In thinking about it in terms of a conversation about his past, I can see where it could just be an honest description of his feelings for her, as in, "Well, I had one pretty serious relationship where we dated for a couple of years. She was 'the one,' but she passed away."
Now that you've asked him about it, it doesn't sound like he meant it as, "She was the one ... period," but just that he thought she was the one back then and now he is willing to go out and find the NEXT one.
In thinking about it in terms of a conversation about his past, I can see where it could just be an honest description of his feelings for her, as in, "Well, I had one pretty serious relationship where we dated for a couple of years. She was 'the one,' but she passed away."
Now that you've asked him about it, it doesn't sound like he meant it as, "She was the one ... period," but just that he thought she was the one back then and now he is willing to go out and find the NEXT one.
I sure hope that's what he meant! It's too early to tell if this will go anywhere, but for now, I'm really diggin' this guy. He's unlike other guys I've dated... in a really good way that's almost questionable. Lol.
I brought it up and asked him to be honest if he was over his ex and were ready to date again. He laughed and said "of course". He said he really likes me and has never felt this way before. I think I have my answer, but my guards are definitely up.
I know THAT feeling LOL, like, "OK, what is wrong with you ?"
LOL, I'm definitely being cautious because I know I'm currently in that honey moon phase where everything is rainbows and unicorns. But seriously, I have yet to find a flaw in this guy.
When we lose someone we love to untimely passing, that person can become something you will not be able to compete with. Are there shrines to her? Such as multiple photos or belongings in the house still? It takes time for people who have lost someone to come to terms with their reality. Their life however loving and perfect with that person is over. It died with them. Regardless of what they feel or want, they have a new life now. It is up to them when they accept it and try to make something of it. The ghost will always be there. Eventually the memories will bring moments of joy and reflection and not tears.
You will need to have a lot of patience if you chose to stay. And you will need to make him talk about this in a brutally honest way. Tell him you don't want to spend your life being just a comparison.
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