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Let people live their lives how they see fit. If they aren't harming anyone what's the problem?
I'm not sure if you're arguing with me or not. If someone wants to stay home every night with their SOs, fine by me. It's MU who sees that as a sign of a problem.
And it's possible that MU's friends don't find spending time with their wives and families boring, and think his need to be entertained 24/7 is boring. It's a big world out there, and just because people aren't doing what you do doesn't mean they're wrong.
Exactly. If they didn't want to turn into boring lumps, they should have made other choices, and that's their own fault. Maybe they did all kinds of "exciting" things as as way to fill up their days and don't see the need to do all that now. Regardless, it's their life and their choice, and it's ridiculous to fear other people's life choices.
There is a a flip side that you also don't get to live like a single person when you're in a relationship. You have someone else's feelings to consider as well and have to make compromises. So find someone who likes to do all these things, or doesn't care if you do so many things, or realize that concessions have to be made because your partner won't be cool with you being out 6 days a week and find a middle ground.
I'm not sure if you're arguing with me or not. If someone wants to stay home every night with their SOs, fine by me. It's MU who sees that as a sign of a problem.
Be that as it may...
I know for a fact that my future SO/wife will expect me to never go anywhere fun, stay home, have candlelit dinners, and talk about my feelings. Every... single... day... forever (or until break-up/divorce). It's what the majority of people want and expect. So I'm choosing not to go down that road.
I know for a fact that my future SO/wife will expect me to never go anywhere fun, stay home, have candlelit dinners, and talk about my feelings. Every... single... day... forever (or until break-up/divorce). It's what the majority of people want and expect. So I'm choosing not to go down that road.
It's just so odd that you can't envision a relationship that isn't a constant battle of the sexes or a complete drag. People get together because they like each other, and they want to spend time with each other, and they respect each other's needs. If you want to be a swinging bachelor, fine, but if in a relationship you find your partner boring, then you're not with the right person.
That's just so breathtakingly nonsensical. It's just lame rationalization of fear.
Airplanes crash. So do cars. Earthquakes happen on the West Coast, as do hurricanes on the Gulf. Tornados dance through the vast middle part of the country. People have virulent allergies to cats, dogs, shellfish and a host of other things. Does that mean you don't fly or drive anywhere? Does that mean you should live your life huddled in some remote, antiseptic corner of Vermont where disasters are rare, barricaded against life's remote possibilities? Do you spend your time eating a limited diet of the safest foods possible, checking your blood pressure every hour?
Jeez man. Life is a banquet and you're freaking starving to death.
Here's a concept. Stop looking at the relationships that fail and start looking at the larger number of relationships that work. You know, those people you think are "looking down on everyone," whatever that means.
It's not rocket science or some inscrutable mystery of the universe. Relationships that fail do so for predictable reasons, all of which can be pretty easily circumvented if you're actually paying attention. Put your S/O first without being a doormat. Build a common life together filled with mutual friends and passions. Talk every day, deeply and reverently. Be open to life's possibilities.
But, no, people such as you would rather offer up baloney of the ilk that is in your post. Maybe you've even talked yourself into believing it. Too bad you've chosen to live in such an impoverished and lonely way. For a strong relationship built upon mutual adoration and respect takes everything in life that's good and magnifies it by several orders. A shame so many deny themselves this because they are too afraid to make the leap.
Can't deny what you can't have (Going by the many posts from men who apparently can't get a woman).
I'm not saying I'm disinterested and won't keep trying, I'm just starting to accept that a loving relationship is highly unlikely because women are just not attracted to me. I may never get a chance to prove myself inthis arena. Don't get me wrong I won't completely lose hope but I'm getting real about probability.
When you think about it, a loving relationship is in general is highly unlikely for everyone...but it does happen... May not be meant for everyone. I encourage everyone to find their own joy other than relationships. Therefore, if you find yourself in a dry spell, then it won't be so bad.
I myself may never get a relationship, but that definitely does not bring me down. I know there are other ways to be happy and it is possible for me to be happier outside of a relationship than in a relationship.
By their very presence and participation on this forum? Absolutely. The other thing to remember is the title of this thread: Love Doesn't Exist. Of course it does. I see it in almost all the couples in our circle of friends.
In that sense, if someone is continually hanging out on the Relationship forum and talking about how relationships are a bunch of baloney, it is a lie they tell themselves, one that fools no one.
If they were completely happy being on their own and didn't want a relationship, then they wouldn't be here in the first place. I'm sure there are forums on City Data pertaining to raising Corgis or woodworking or stamp collecting, too. But those subjects are not important to me, so I don't seek them out.
I mean, one of the posters above is constantly on here. A day doesn't pass where he doesn't have some sad sack story about how life has betrayed him and how no woman wants him. The guy practically wears sackcloth and ashes. Yet he never seems to understand that his cynicism isn't a product of his failed relationship but more likely the catalyst of them. Who wants to be tethered to a man or woman who is negative? Anyone?
I know for a fact that my future SO/wife will expect me to never go anywhere fun, stay home, have candlelit dinners, and talk about my feelings. Every... single... day... forever (or until break-up/divorce). It's what the majority of people want and expect. So I'm choosing not to go down that road.
DON'T go down that road then...bully for you
But for the love of god, please stop with this redundant whining about 'society' and 'what the majority of people want and expect', because it's annoying
You are (I assume at this juncture) a grown man...you are NOT subject to the whims, whys, and wherefores of society, thus, you don't HAVE to do what 'the majority ' says
You can still do all the 'cool bro stuff' you've always been doing, without the (alleged) constraints of a LTR or even a marriage...you are under NO OBLIGATION WHATSOEVER to date, marry, have kids, dance the boogaloo, or any combination of the above, and it's been that way for quite a long time
My particular problem, however, arises when you equate dating, relationships, and/or marriage as akin to slavery...well, my name is Catfish, not Toby, Rastus, or Buckwheat, and I've been with my wife for over 13 years now...no chains on my ankles or wrists---I can still do what I want, as can she...if she wants to go out with her friends, married or single, I have no problem with that, and vice versa me being able to go out with the guys
And you know what's at the root of it? Love, trust, and mutual respect...I lost not one dang iota of my manhood in any relationship I chose to get involved in, nor are my 'jewels' kept in an old Crown Royal bag in the bottom of my wife's purse, as you seem to think happens when a man chooses to date or marry and 'settle down'...quit watching so much TV, and monitoring the lives of your 'enslaved' friends, and go out and get a life instead of giving a rat-crap about what 'society' thinks
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Fine And Freakin' Dandy
' says 
