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I have been talking to this guy I met on OLD site for two weeks (almost every day). We tried to meet but our schedules are conflicting and we live an hour away. Yesterday he asked me for a selfie (I only have two pics online). He sent me selfie first and then I reciprocated. I told him I was already in bed, but studying. My selfie was with my head on the pillow, but it wasnt too revealing or anything (just face and one shoulder).
He texted: I want to come cuddle with you. You are so pretty and look like a good cuddler.
Me: Hahhahaa
Him: You need kisses (kissy emoji)
Me: No, I dont. I am good (smile emoji)
Him: (sad face emoji)
Me: Off to bed. Good night
Him: Nighty night (rose)
Today, I havent heard from him at all. What went wrong?
I don't think he was looking for a booty call because he was at work at that time (night shift). And, he should be completely insane to think girl he never met would invite him over.
Well he could be busy. People don't need to text everyday. NOW, assuming he IS gone for good, then here's my theory on why.
He was probably hoping to move things into playful banter mode, where he makes flirty / suggestive comments. And when you didn't reciprocate, he lost interest.
He makes it more suggestive with saying he wanted to cuddle. You laughed. He moves to mentioning wanting to kiss. You said no, and he sends a sad face. So he did apparently wanna get physical with you, which was the reason for asking for the selfie, then going straight on to talking about kissing and touching you.
It doesn't have to mean he wanted to come over and sleep with you that very second, but he did have getting physical with you in his plans, since you had been talking for 2 weeks already. Now that you didn't banter back, and show you were in the same boat, that repelled him.
I don't think it had anything to do with your picture itself. Because he was still talking and flirting after you sent it. I think it was the rejection of his advances that caused him to withdraw, or at least slowed him down and made him less eager / interested.
Maybe but I dont understand this.
I mean, I was annoyed with "wanna cuddle" text. I havent even met him. I know it was just flirting but still...
We talked about what we were looking for and he told me he wanted something serious and to settle down. Also he is not into playing games (according to what he said).
Get off the effin computer and meet ASAP.
If you can't meet for a coffee within a day without a commute or a conference... you're too far.
Try again.
Here is the problem. I am in graduate school, while also working full time. I dont really have time to date but dont want to spend the rest of my life alone (I am getting old and it is also nice to have someone while going through difficult times). I tend to look for people who are also busy (otherwise, no one would tolerate my schedule). This guy seemed to have a similar lifestyle and possibly seeing him once a week would be ideal for me. But that is a different topic.
Maybe but I dont understand this.
I mean, I was annoyed with "wanna cuddle" text. I havent even met him. I know it was just flirting but still...
We talked about what we were looking for and he told me he wanted something serious and to settle down. Also he is not into playing games (according to what he said).
Well he could have been lying and saying things he thought you wanted to hear -which is nothing new. Or, he is looking for something serious, but still wanted / expected sex. Some people here are married, but slept with their spouses within the first 3 dates. Some people just don't believe in waiting too long before having sex.
But really I think the guy was looking for a bootycall, or something casual. Because you mentioned that you both live an hour away, and schedules are so hectic that you couldn't meet in that time. So it doesn't seem practical to be looking for a serious relationship, and trying to start one up with a woman who lives an hour from him that he apparently can't see too much, given conflicting schedules. So occasional sex and company is fine, given the distance and trouble getting together.
But he probably isn't looking for anything serious with you. People always need to keep that in mind. Just because someone says they're looking for something, doesn't mean you're the one they are finding it with. So he could be looking for serious, but is still down for casual relationships on the side until he finds that woman to get serious with.
So for now, if you're in grad school and your schedule is so busy, then a casual relationship may be all you should expect right now. Because many people who are looking for serious relationships wanna see their partner more than once a week, if it's an exclusive / monogamous relationship.
No, it wasn't your picture. He kept on texting you and took it to the next level ("I want to cuddle"). It was your tone. He moved on to someone that "played along" with the cuddles and kisses.
Barely any time has passed and you are already down on yourself and being neurotic.
This is not a mindset of a person who should be dating. You need thicker skin and better self confidence.
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You shot down his flirting twice in less than 5 minutes and you wonder what went wrong?
Perhaps a *we should probably meet before talking about cuddling* would have been easier for him to take.
If you do not have time to date then do not date, it is not fair to anyone involved when you have no quality time to spend
with a potential romantc interest.
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