Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
So I happen to be in a relationship for almost 2 1/2 years now, with my bf who is in his late thirty's, and well, I have come to the conclusion that he is somehow mysterious, I mean I get that he is discrete, but it just comes off as mysterious to be quite honest, he does not like to make noise when he is walking LOL I have never met his ''friends'' I Don't even think he has many, the only ''friend'' that I have metwas his roomate (which is a weed head, smokes a lot of weed) it was a HI and bye type of interaction, he has another friend that,he talksabout which is an old man in his 50, that supposedly is a friend of his family, I have never seen him,the times thatme and my bf hang around which are not very frequent, due to hectic medical school schedules, I have never seen that man, another thing supossedly my bf does not smoke, yet I caught a box of marlboro cigarettes underneath his laptop and his odd excuse is: he keeps it there for the laptop to ventilate the hot air. And I say to myself Oh really? so he bought a box of marlboro just to serve as a laptop cushion, I don't think so. either he smokes or someone else that went or goes to his house does. I did confront him and he said that he smokes ''once in a blue moon'', but to me he still lied ,why could he not say it since the beginning?
The othe part is, I remember when we started dating, he told he me how he disliked social media, and ''did not have any of them''.He happens to hate pictures,in our whole relationship we never took not one picture, I tried long time ago for a dinner I invited him to,,and he did not want to he said he look unpolished blah blah blah, he was so awkward about it, and just told me he did not like to take pictures ,and the fact that he does not like his pictures to be on internet or FACEBOOK,since he likes ''privacy''.he also mentioned that there are not many pics of him.
Yet I checked his family members facebook and saw 3 pics of him,then the part that bothered me, was that I ended up finding out that he has a facebook profile, with a made up name and an actual picture of him( very ironic isn't it, since he does not like neither social media or taking pictures and is sooo conscious about his Privacy Humm???). something that really caught my eye is that he does not have any of his family members on his facebook profile,I have seen all of his families profiles and none of them have him and visceversa.
His excuse to why he has that facebook account is: ''yeah that's an old facebook account that I made but I don't use,its been sitting there for some time, but, I don't use it. Honestly I could not see any content,I suppose he has it private, yet I saw 5 people that are friends with him, and facebook suggested them to me, there profiles are public. 4 of them I have seen them from university, and there was this girl, whom I have no clue who she is. so I checkedher facebook and HE became friends with her on 2015, to me that is not so long ago, So he must have been logging around that time.Facts are facts and this does not match with his so EXCUSE according to me. This especific facebook issue gives me the impression that something is rotten in the state of denmark, even though he insist in the'' it's old and I don't use it'' excuse. I really don't want to judge him and believe he is not telling the me the truth, But TBH all of it, just seems weird! [LEFT][color=#000000]
Is this guy just what the younger generation seems to call a 'friend with benefits' or were you counting on some long term committed relationship? If the latter, I would say, from the description you gave, run now and learn from the mistake you made in just realizing all this after that long. If the former, face that fact - it seems you are not that important to him other than for the 'benefits' part, sad to say. If you can't handle that, see situation #1 and that advice - run.
He is not mysterious - he is just not honest with you. All those little lies you discovered already, and maybe many more you are going to discover soon. Also I am not sure about his "privacy" - I think he just don't want you to know much about him and what he is doing behind your back.
Why are you wasting your time? He is leaving to the States soon. Are you coming with him? Do you guys have any plans for the future? I see all that just as an occasional sex, nothing more...
I would not be with somebody for more than 2 years and not know his friends and family.
Here are worst case and best case scenarios.
Best case:
- He rarely talks to his family or is ashamed of them. Yes, they are somewhere else, but if he would be really into you, he would have taken you there.
- Some people have spy accounts on Facebook. He logged in two years ago, thats a long time - not recently.
- he doesn't have friends
- his roomie left the cigarette pack and he used it.
Worst case:
- You are not important to him
- He took somebody else to his graduation
- He has a gf
- He is ashamed of you
- Since you like to create drama (see other thread) he doesn't want to be "friends" on facebook and risk you posting dumb stuff
If his behavior is not what you like, then why are you with him? It doesn't sound like he feels you are important to him. Why live your life always having to question everything?
Mod cut
Last edited by PJSaturn; 03-17-2017 at 07:48 AM..
Reason: Reply to post which has been deleted.
I would not be with somebody for more than 2 years and not know his friends and family.
Here are worst case and best case scenarios.
Best case:
- He rarely talks to his family or is ashamed of them. Yes, they are somewhere else, but if he would be really into you, he would have taken you there.
- Some people have spy accounts on Facebook. He logged in two years ago, thats a long time - not recently.
- he doesn't have friends
- his roomie left the cigarette pack and he used it.
Worst case:
- You are not important to him
- He took somebody else to his graduation
- He has a gf
- He is ashamed of you
- Since you like to create drama (see other thread) he doesn't want to be "friends" on facebook and risk you posting dumb stuff
@oh-eve I really don't create drama, our communication really sucks, I have been nothing but good to him (dumb enough to stick around for so long) I don't think any woman would put up with this. regarding his family, his mom calls him and I'm sure he communicates with them, but even his 50 year old friend had to call his family once, since he got worried that my bf was not answering his cell phone for quite some time, he had mentioned the word marriage a couple of times( but words ar just words), I feel as if his past has been very ****ty.
Oh another thing is my bf has a disorder called ADHD.
So I happen to be in a relationship for almost 2 1/2 years now, with my bf who is in his late thirty's, and well, I have come to the conclusion that he is somehow mysterious, I mean I get that he is discrete, but it just comes off as mysterious to be quite honest, he does not like to make noise when he is walking LOL I have never met his ''friends'' I Don't even think he has many, the only ''friend'' that I have metwas his roomate (which is a weed head, smokes a lot of weed) it was a HI and bye type of interaction, he has another friend that,he talksabout which is an old man in his 50, that supposedly is a friend of his family, I have never seen him,the times thatme and my bf hang around which are not very frequent, due to hectic medical school schedules, I have never seen that man, another thing supossedly my bf does not smoke, yet I caught a box of marlboro cigarettes underneath his laptop and his odd excuse is: he keeps it there for the laptop to ventilate the hot air. And I say to myself Oh really? so he bought a box of marlboro just to serve as a laptop cushion, I don't think so. either he smokes or someone else that went or goes to his house does. I did confront him and he said that he smokes ''once in a blue moon'', but to me he still lied ,why could he not say it since the beginning?
The othe part is, I remember when we started dating, he told he me how he disliked social media, and ''did not have any of them''.He happens to hate pictures,in our whole relationship we never took not one picture, I tried long time ago for a dinner I invited him to,,and he did not want to he said he look unpolished blah blah blah, he was so awkward about it, and just told me he did not like to take pictures ,and the fact that he does not like his pictures to be on internet or FACEBOOK,since he likes ''privacy''.he also mentioned that there are not many pics of him.
Yet I checked his family members facebook and saw 3 pics of him,then the part that bothered me, was that I ended up finding out that he has a facebook profile, with a made up name and an actual picture of him( very ironic isn't it, since he does not like neither social media or taking pictures and is sooo conscious about his Privacy Humm???). something that really caught my eye is that he does not have any of his family members on his facebook profile,I have seen all of his families profiles and none of them have him and visceversa.
His excuse to why he has that facebook account is: ''yeah that's an old facebook account that I made but I don't use,its been sitting there for some time, but, I don't use it. Honestly I could not see any content,I suppose he has it private, yet I saw 5 people that are friends with him, and facebook suggested them to me, there profiles are public. 4 of them I have seen them from university, and there was this girl, whom I have no clue who she is. so I checkedher facebook and HE became friends with her on 2015, to me that is not so long ago, So he must have been logging around that time.Facts are facts and this does not match with his so EXCUSE according to me. This especific facebook issue gives me the impression that something is rotten in the state of denmark, even though he insist in the'' it's old and I don't use it'' excuse. I really don't want to judge him and believe he is not telling the me the truth, But TBH all of it, just seems weird! [LEFT][color=#000000]
[Mod cut]
Oooo a man of mystery. Sounds like a keeper. My advice. Do exactly as he says. Exactly.
...or just run. You ain't got time for this James Bond BS
OP: If you find things difficult why have you stayed so long? It must not be as bad as you wish to present it. [Mod cut: orphaned]
Desperation? Great sex? No hassle? You like "mysterious"?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
