w/ bf for 10 years-only had sex 2 times in 4 years- what do I do?
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Even 80 year olds do it more frequently. At this point you need to have a sit down and find out what the core reasons are. It would be at this point that suggesting that you find another lover should be explored. Just have him watch and make sure you are safe. Two things will happen. One you will feel cared for because he allows it, meaning he cares about your needs. Secondly he probably will like it, and may get him in the mood. I've seen it happen most of the time. Dude will sit in the corner while you get it on. When the guy leaves, you and the hubby share in the moment, I guess. What wives have told me, is the husband takes part in the screening process. That by given the responsibility they feel like they are part of the act. Some husbands like to be degraded for their short comings, whatever their thing, help him find it.
Even 80 year olds do it more frequently. At this point you need to have a sit down and find out what the core reasons are. It would be at this point that suggesting that you find another lover should be explored. Just have him watch and make sure you are safe. Two things will happen. One you will feel cared for because he allows it, meaning he cares about your needs. Secondly he probably will like it, and may get him in the mood. I've seen it happen most of the time. Dude will sit in the corner while you get it on. When the guy leaves, you and the hubby share in the moment, I guess. What wives have told me, is the husband takes part in the screening process. That by given the responsibility they feel like they are part of the act. Some husbands like to be degraded for their short comings, whatever their thing, help him find it.
Just for the record, that wasn't at all what I was suggesting. But if you two want to stay together, OP, and he doesn't want to do anything about his lack of interest in sex, he's not leaving you much choice but to get those needs met elsewhere. He needs to be made aware of that. If he's horrified, then your only choice is to move on.
My suggestion was due to the fact the OP has been dealing with this issue for far longer than she should have to. Physical intimacy is a vital part of any relationship, but when you live with this person the opportunities should increase not decrease. If your partner has small feet or hands, he may be desiring to do something he is too ashamed to admit. Bring up an interest in cuckolding, you'd be surprised how some guys are really into that, it's embarrassing you'd think but they get off on it. Soon men with small hands will be gatekeepers for the women they set free...lol....start the conversation like this...honey I love you but my needs aren't being met. You are no longer the man I was so attracted to, you are half a man. I demand to receive pleasure, but I'm scared to meet men alone. Would you like to help me screen them, then be my bodyguard when we meet? That's what the man I loved would do, if he couldn't satisfy my needs any longer.
Could be a lot of reasons if he is 40 he should have had his testosterone checked by now, blood tests for diabetes, prostate, etc.
Some guys need to drive a new car every year or they get bored it's usually psychological more than physical. Of course those guys like that just need to stay single and date around.
Could be closeted gay, too. Or maybe you turn him off. Could be something physically, or emotionally about you that turns him off. Is it more a father-daughter relationship, or are you both more equals? If this works, fine. Better than being alone. If it's no longer acceptable, then another arrangement has to be made, with or without his approval.
Could be closeted gay, too. Or maybe you turn him off. Could be something physically, or emotionally about you that turns him off. Is it more a father-daughter relationship, or are you both more equals? If this works, fine. Better than being alone. If it's no longer acceptable, then another arrangement has to be made, with or without his approval.
Right. She turned him on enough for him to invite her to move in with him, but as soon as she got moved in, he stops having sex? Suddenly--she turns him off? No. More likely--maybe he wanted live-in cleaning service, and once he got that, he figured he could drop the sexy act?
I have been with my bf for over 10 years. We have lived together several years. Once we moved in together the sex just got less and less. In the last 4 years we have had sex only 2 times!! He's too tired, sick, stressed, etc, etc. I bring up the subject on occasion because I am tired of rejection. No one would think that we don't sleep together (speaking of- we have different bedrooms- has been that way for a few years). We used to say it doesn't bother us because we have a great relationship otherwise. But I think it is taking a toll on our relationship to where I find myself fantasizing of other men. And we just don't seem as close. In fact when I have had sex with him the passion was gone. I am very attracted to him as far as his looks but this sex situation makes having sex when we do have it very awkward. I don't know what to do! I have asked him to get his testosterone checked but he won't. Should I walk away?
Went through that with my now x wife for 4-5 years because of the kids. I would say that either he has zero sex drive; which from what I understand for many older men is a very possible issue; due to either a low amount of testosterone or "low T" as it is called on TV or an "ED" problem which is easily solved with many of the various medications that are also all over TV. That would be for a man of course. For my wife she just did not like sex. She grew up in a repressive society and I should have known that she would be that way. Basically with us once the kids were born it was sex like maybe once per week or eventually once per month, then I wanted it too much (just sometimes) then not at all. I am convinced that many women who are married to normal men with normal sex drives use as a control tool. As soon as I stopped doing everything exactly how my wife wanted me to do them; with finances, cars etc. That was it no more sex at all ever done. In your case, have a serious conversation; and even before that start making plans to leave. Not being married it is pretty easy. It is well worth it to get out there. Just make sure you find someone who values intimacy as much as you do. To me it's like if you are not having sex then why are you together? Sex is the physical expression of how you feel about your partner and you cannot maintain a certain closeness like it's "us against the world" without it! good luck!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Been There Done That
