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Wow! So many of you are being spiteful against a man who has shown nothing but love, dedication, downright obsession in the OP, yet ya'll take a big ol' warm dump on him for being persistent ?
The man is trying to reconnect with a woman he fancied back in the days, he even offered her help as well ?
Give him credit for going out of his way and risking rejection and embarrassment.
We only have a finite amount of time in this universe, may as well "get it in" while you can.
People suggesting the OP to block him, "just move on girl!"..."he's a loser!"..."you can do better"...
Ummm, folks, we're OLD(er)! We don't have all the time in the world. Clock is ticking. Giddy up.
You've already let him get one foot in the door. DO NOT allow him any more leeway.
I think deep down you hope things will be different.
What happened to the poor daughter ???
OP?
He "feels like you're his wife"?! After he hasn't seen you for whatever--30+ years, and using you to get out of his parental obligation toward his daughter? He's got a pretty delusional view of what a "wife" is.
And you haven't blocked him.....why? It's never too late to block him, OP.
Wow! So many of you are being spiteful against a man who has shown nothing but love, dedication, downright obsession in the OP, yet ya'll take a big ol' warm dump on him for being persistent ?
The man is trying to reconnect with a woman he fancied back in the days, he even offered her help as well ?
Give him credit for going out of his way and risking rejection and embarrassment.
We only have a finite amount of time in this universe, may as well "get it in" while you can.
People suggesting the OP to block him, "just move on girl!"..."he's a loser!"..."you can do better"...
Ummm, folks, we're OLD(er)! We don't have all the time in the world. Clock is ticking. Giddy up.
Yes, definitely. It may be that you're wondering if he's changed actually. Maybe he has, probably hasn't by his approach to you. He had done something extremely selfish; if he wanted to apologize, a short explanation by mail, text, whatever (and maybe a check included with that) would have sufficed. But by badgering you the way he is, it shows more selfishness. Unless you like this kind of drama, I think you know what to do. Cut off all contact with him. Change your cellphone number if you have to (I would).
Yep. Very good advice and I hope I make myself take it. If nothing else, this man coming back and stirring up all these emotions that I thought I had long ago placed behind me, shows me I need to do a bit of soul searching. Obviously, I need to change a few things, and I think this old gal is still capable of learning a few new tricks, while Mr. Coyote, the Trickster never will.
Thanks to anyone who might be patient enough to read through this long old post from an old lady and offer me a little insight into all this!
Sixty-three is NOT old! I'm 70 and still have some life in me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Colorado Rambler
Hah! I'm going to keep any money he's stupid enough to send me. I never asked for it nor have I ever made him any promises. If he wants to "haunt" me with $100.00 checks, I'm snapping them up and calling it Karma!
It's not karma. What is however, is doing what you were doing before which could be a sign of insanity because it didn't work 20 years go and it won't work now as it's nothing more than selfishness on his part and an obvious snare that you're willingly letting into your life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Basiliximab
Yes, definitely. It may be that you're wondering if he's changed actually. Maybe he has, probably hasn't by his approach to you. He had done something extremely selfish; if he wanted to apologize, a short explanation by mail, text, whatever (and maybe a check included with that) would have sufficed. But by badgering you the way he is, it shows more selfishness. Unless you like this kind of drama, I think you know what to do. Cut off all contact with him. Change your cellphone number if you have to (I would).
You need to pay attention to this excellent advice.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Colorado Rambler
Yep. Very good advice and I hope I make myself take it. If nothing else, this man coming back and stirring up all these emotions that I thought I had long ago placed behind me, shows me I need to do a bit of soul searching. Obviously, I need to change a few things, and I think this old gal is still capable of learning a few new tricks, while Mr. Coyote, the Trickster never will.
So when are you going to start or do you enjoy the adventure, excitement and drama this is bringing with it? Why did you post this when you already know what you should do? Clearly you don't really need our insight.
Location: Sodo Sopa at The Villas above Kenny' s House.
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I briefly reconnected to a school mate through FB. His friend request struck me as odd because he used to bully me but I'd say pick on is a better description. Fast forward 20+years and he's messaging me. I figured we were just kids and he was picked on too so what could it hurt to say a quick hello?
Let's just say after two months of not using messenger I logged on to see messages from him everyday since 2 months ago. No correspondence on my part and his getting more angry and belligerent day after day.
You know what a sane person does?
Blocked him right then and there. No questions to ask, no explanations needed.
That's the same question I keep asking myself. How stupid am I? VERY stupid! Seems like there are several threads here tonight by people who are having trouble with things from the past. I wonder who let all those zombies get out?
I guess as much as anything else, I'm just lonely. But I know this guy would only make me lonelier yet if I really let him come back. I need to focus on my friendships where I live now and spend time with people in my present life and stop looking back at some lost cause.
You appear to be ambivalent about this guy. And he appears to be less than stable. What guy randomly sends his ex wife checks? That's just weird. Does he think he can buy you back? Or what's the deal?
I think that the loneliness and background hope in your mind that he's changed is clouding your thought process. I know that humans can be inherently irrational at times.
I really hope you can put this guy out of your life as he doesn't deserve to have a place in it. Has he changed, IDK, probably not as he's not truly respecting your wishes because of the nature in his repeated attempts at trying to reconnect with you.
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He's got a pretty delusional view of what a "wife" is. 
And you haven't blocked him.....why? It's never too late to block him, OP.
