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I have been seeing this Korean girl for almost 2 months now. I'm Asian/Canadian and she's full Korean in the UK learning English. She broke up with her ex late last year (for the second time) and told me about a month ago that there's no chance she'll be getting back together with him anymore. We were doing great for the next month or so. Then when I was studying for my Masters exams, she suddenly stops calling me and I cannot reach her anymore. We usually call each other every night. She sends me an email saying that she cannot lie and pretend that nothing happened and something did happen. She cannot tell me now cuz she knows I'll worry so we will talk about it next week when I'm done exams.
... I never got to see her again. On the day I finished exams, she sends me another mail after ignoring my phone call and explains that her (Korean) ex-boyfriend got onto both knees and begged for her to take him back and promised to change. Apparently, he kept in touch with his ex's during their relationship and might have cheated on her, which is why she broke up with him. The reason why he is also in the UK studying the same course as her is because after the first breakup he changed his plans to go to the UK with her in order to get back together. He never changed his behaviour and never gave her enough attention so she broke up with him again.
So now, she's decided to give him yet another chance and "complete what they have already began". I feel a combination of anger, upset and disappointment right now and really don't know what to do. I think I deserve a first chance way more than that guy deserves a third chance. She keeps stressing that she felt really warm with me at all times and I am a really nice guy, but she still has feelings for him. Your opinions would be much appreciated. Thanks!
When you have a history with someone, it's hard to let it go be it good or bad. She obviously hasn't got over him so you shouldn't get involved with her. You do actually deserve a first chance more but life isn't fair when it comes to human nature. You don't want to be with someone with unfinished business so if I were you I'd just wish her the best of luck (like an adult) and put her behind you.
Not sure why you capitalize on her being Korean. It's just the usual case of a GF who still has feelings for her ex boyfriend. Just.. move on. I know it's not easy, but I don't see any other option.
Not sure why you capitalize on her being Korean. It's just the usual case of a GF who still has feelings for her ex boyfriend. Just.. move on. I know it's not easy, but I don't see any other option.
I was thinking maybe there's some culture differences because I've never been with a Korean before. Perhaps they go back and forth more than others?
I was thinking maybe there's some culture differences because I've never been with a Korean before. Perhaps they go back and forth more than others?
I don't think it's a cultural thing. I think she's just a girl who is unsure of what she wants. Let it go and move on. Life is too short to be stuck in the middle of something like this. The sooner you develop the "it's her loss" attitude, the better.
I think I deserve a first chance way more than that guy deserves a third chance.
It doesn't matter if you think it's fair or not, it's her choice - she is free to love whoever she wants - even if you think her choice is foolish.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissLucky
Not sure why you capitalize on her being Korean. It's just the usual case of a GF who still has feelings for her ex boyfriend. Just.. move on. I know it's not easy, but I don't see any other option.
I have been seeing this Korean girl for almost 2 months now. I'm Asian/Canadian and she's full Korean in the UK learning English. She broke up with her ex late last year (for the second time) and told me about a month ago that there's no chance she'll be getting back together with him anymore. We were doing great for the next month or so. Then when I was studying for my Masters exams, she suddenly stops calling me and I cannot reach her anymore. We usually call each other every night. She sends me an email saying that she cannot lie and pretend that nothing happened and something did happen. She cannot tell me now cuz she knows I'll worry so we will talk about it next week when I'm done exams.
... I never got to see her again. On the day I finished exams, she sends me another mail after ignoring my phone call and explains that her (Korean) ex-boyfriend got onto both knees and begged for her to take him back and promised to change. Apparently, he kept in touch with his ex's during their relationship and might have cheated on her, which is why she broke up with him. The reason why he is also in the UK studying the same course as her is because after the first breakup he changed his plans to go to the UK with her in order to get back together. He never changed his behaviour and never gave her enough attention so she broke up with him again.
So now, she's decided to give him yet another chance and "complete what they have already began". I feel a combination of anger, upset and disappointment right now and really don't know what to do. I think I deserve a first chance way more than that guy deserves a third chance. She keeps stressing that she felt really warm with me at all times and I am a really nice guy, but she still has feelings for him. Your opinions would be much appreciated. Thanks!
At first I found the title of your thread strange..."my KOREAN girlfriend decided to go back to her ex".
I'm thinking, "what the heck difference does it make if she was Korean, African, American or Irish???"
But I can see now, it apparently DID make a difference to her that her fellow Korean came back for her. She may have some pressure from her family to not marry outside her race, and/or, she could be madly in love with him. This sucks for you.
I am not sure what exactly you want anyone here to give you an opinion on?
She broke up with you, went back to her ex, you are hurting and I am sorry
Does my opinion that this sucks make you feel any better?
I feel a combination of anger, upset and disappointment right now and really don't know what to do. I think I deserve a first chance way more than that guy deserves a third chance. She keeps stressing that she felt really warm with me at all times and I am a really nice guy, but she still has feelings for him. Your opinions would be much appreciated. Thanks!
I feel for you, I do. But it really doesn't matter that you think you deserve more of a chance. The only thing that matters is that her heart lies somewhere else. It's easy to have feelings for someone while loving another, and at least she is being honest about it and not stringing you along further. Let her go, and get yourself busy taking care of you.
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