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If you refuse to touch me in public, you are telling me that you are embarrassed for people to know we're together.
I'm just very awkward and self-conscious about those sorts of gestures in public, or even in private if I'm honest. In a parallel universe where I ever found myself in such a situation, I would follow the other person's lead and hope I did okay. It doesn't naturally to me to initiate touch of any kind.
I had a very protective dog as a kid who wouldn't let anyone near me. Don't judge .
I'm just very awkward and self-conscious about those sorts of gestures in public, or even in private if I'm honest..
Being single my whole life. I give stinky eyes to any PDA I seen. Holding hands though never bother me. Now, married, me and my husband always get comments from strangers that see us holding hands.
One guy said he and his wife ALWAYS hold hands like we do. One girl said you guys are so cute makes me want to come home to my hubby.
And I always PDA, my husband always stop me, LOL. Except for hand holding he initiates that some times.
I'm just very awkward and self-conscious about those sorts of gestures in public, or even in private if I'm honest. In a parallel universe where I ever found myself in such a situation, I would follow the other person's lead and hope I did okay. It doesn't naturally to me to initiate touch of any kind.
I had a very protective dog as a kid who wouldn't let anyone near me. Don't judge .
When Im really attracted to someone, I don't think about what's right and what will 'the others' think. I'm touching them, running my fingers through their hair, putting my hand on their knee....back, arm...hand massage, no one's slapped me away, yet.
You've made it clear that you do not want, and will not be having a relationship. Why bother entertaining what you WOULD do in these situations that you enthusiastically refer to as "vomit-inducing and abhorrent"?
It's difficult for the average person to not then deduce that you secretly hope to one day have to deal with these conflicts.
Ever talk to a therapist?
(You should accept HCs apology for assuming the same.)
Further, physical affection is very important to me, so I wouldn't be a good match with someone who won't hold hands, put their arms around me, or kiss in public.
Agreed. It's not a business lunch, I can touch or hold hands without it being some grand PDA.
I'm not talking about swirling my tongue around his gums and then wiping my face off with my t-shirt. Even if someone did that, I'd try not to laugh, it doesn't make ME feel awkward, I'm only responsible for what I'm doing.
I'm asking because I don't do PDA really. I think it bothered the last woman I saw.
The way you wrote the OP came across quite funny to me hence the reaction in my original post so my apologies.
But usually I am quite an affectionate type of bloke but definitely NOT over affectionate to the point it drives her mad and she finds it annoying/needy and yes I do enjoy subtle/simple gestures like holding hands/interlocking arms/arm around the shoulder etc but usually I let how affectionate she is especially in public dictate how I am in that respect so it's no issue and both are comfortable.
I think it's important to show some kind of effort in showing affection especially in public as yes they may feel you're ashamed of them in some way.
But let's not beat around the bush if the chemistry is intense and mutual then you'll both be struggling to keep your hands off each other regardless of where you are and luckily 9/10 this is the case
I have, as it happens. About far more pressing things than hypothetical responses to situations I've thus far managed to avoid. I reserve subjects like that for forums like this .
When I've resolved the overthinking, lack of confidence and perfectionism that stops me being as prolific as Stephen King, I may bring it up. One neurosis at a time if you don't mind.
Wow, well, once again my opinion is different from the crowd. Shocking, I know.
If someone I was dating never held my hand when we were out, refused to? Then we wouldn't be dating long.
I'm not talking about a first or second date, but someone I would be actively dating. If you refuse to touch me in public, you are telling me that you are embarrassed for people to know we're together. Further, physical affection is very important to me, so I wouldn't be a good match with someone who won't hold hands, put their arms around me, or kiss in public.
This.
Physical touch is my primary love language, and the same for my husband. We enjoy holding hands and PG PDA. I wouldn't take interest in someone who wasn't on the same page.
Wow, well, once again my opinion is different from the crowd. Shocking, I know.
If someone I was dating never held my hand when we were out, refused to? Then we wouldn't be dating long.
I'm not talking about a first or second date, but someone I would be actively dating. If you refuse to touch me in public, you are telling me that you are embarrassed for people to know we're together. Further, physical affection is very important to me, so I wouldn't be a good match with someone who won't hold hands, put their arms around me, or kiss in public.
Same.
If a woman refused PDA, then I'd just chalk it up to being non-compatible and move on.
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