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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,024,941 times
Reputation: 40635
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This isn't the situation here, clearly, but husbands that are ok with or even (gasp) like their wives having sex with other people aren't all that rare.
Open relationship, polyamory, whatever you want to call it ...
...guilt is the driving force here.
It's what (I believe) is keeping the wife from being completely honest with Griffis, and it's what's allowing him to allow her to "explore."
Griffis is a decent guy, and the decent guy doesn't go around throwing things, screaming and kicking people out, especially if the decent guy feels deep down that this predicament is mostly his "fault."
Because she doesn't NEED anything. She WANTS something. That's different.
It's called being in control of the relationship. He lost control. He's not the man in the relationship, so it's game over. You can't recover this one.
Of course I wouldn't be mad at you. I try to keep anger out of my heart. You are just expressing yourself. You are very kind. I appreciate what you say and I hpoe you are doing well and having a good day. I know you've been going through stuff too.
Quote:
Originally Posted by elvira310
I hope he finds happiness.
Truly, I am not feeling unhappy. For now, at least. Maybe some initial shock will wear off and I'll feel differently. I do get sad, and I miss her, but we talk frequently and I know this sounds odd, but I really don't feel like some injured party who's being screwed over.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jobster
...thank God you took down that personal ad because people were laughing at that too.
I know. Don't really care about that, but that ad was a stupid, bonehead move I will regret for a long time.
Quote:
Let's do a test. Ask any of these ladies on this forum if they think a man that goes around "worshipping" them and basically groveling at their feet is attractive. I'm not a female, but I would wager to say that 0% of females would find that to be attractive. I don't care what these new age gurus say, a woman likes a man.
I am a man, Jobster. I am not weak, I am not effeminate. As I said previously, I do not behave that way when out in the world, approaching random women and kneeling, telling them I am their servant, etc. I'm not an idiot, I am a-ok with straight, vanilla sex, and in general, nobody would know these things about me unless I got to know them well enough for it to come up. I realize this is a relatively small subculture.
Location: In the cold, dark wasteland of eternity...
926 posts, read 674,671 times
Reputation: 1525
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jobster
Look dude, the bottom line is if this unbelievable story is true, your wife doesn't respect you. And I hate to say this, and I don't want to hurt you feelings, but apparently your daughters don't respect you if they allow your wife to do this to you and they're okay with it.
And the guy that's banging your wife, he doesn't respect you either. He's laughing at you. And I'm telling you, thank God you took down that personal ad because people were laughing at that too. I'm surprised that you didn't get random messages calling you a *****. Because honestly, those are the types of messages you should expect if you are going around talking about how you worship females.
Let's do a test. Ask any of these ladies on this forum if they think a man that goes around "worshipping" them and basically groveling at their feet is attractive. I'm not a female, but I would wager to say that 0% of females would find that to be attractive. I don't care what these new age gurus say, a woman likes a man.
Look, you have a right to your opinion, even though it is in direct contrast to the OP's opinion about his situation.
BUT, you have NO right to belittle him by saying you're surprised people aren't calling him a "*****" and saying things like "people are laughing at you", etc. I mean, seriously.
Even though I absolutely do NOT agree with how Griffis is handling this, at least I'm sharing my opinions with him in a (I hope) respectable and understanding manner! And even with all your BS (and belittling posts) to him, he still responds to you in a respectful and polite manner. Amazing he is.
I'm surprised the mods haven't smacked you in the back of the head yet for all of the disparaging posts you've been directing towards the OP. Either tone it down or LEAVE THE THREAD.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,024,941 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by AprilFlowers17
Look, you have a right to your opinion, even though it is in direct contrast to the OP's opinion about his situation.
BUT, you have NO right to belittle him by saying you're surprised people aren't calling him a "*****" and saying things like "people are laughing at you", etc. I mean, seriously.
Look, you have a right to your opinion, even though it is in direct contrast to the OP's opinion about his situation.
BUT, you have NO right to belittle him by saying you're surprised people aren't calling him a "*****" and saying things like "people are laughing at you", etc. I mean, seriously.
Even though I absolutely do NOT agree with how Griffis is handling this, at least I'm sharing my opinions with him in a (I hope) respectable and understanding manner! And even with all your BS (and belittling posts) to him, he still responds to you in a respectful and polite manner. Amazing he is.
I'm surprised the mods haven't smacked you in the back of the head yet for all of the disparaging posts you've been directing towards the OP. Either tone it down or LEAVE THE THREAD.
That is all.
April, I understand what you're saying, but sometimes a man needs another man calling him out on what he's doing. What do you think would happen to this guy with his mentality if he got locked up?
I mean, sometimes the truth hurts. I love the truth. I want it to hurt. Pain is what causes people to wake up and realize they're being taken advantage of.
Why you think this happened in the first place? The OP should have had one of his boys say, hey man, you're crazy, get it together.
You know?
Obviously, not trying to hurt his feelings isn't working. I understand what you're trying to do, and I appreciate that, but it has to be like this. That's just how it has to be.
I'm telling him about real life, about the real world.
Look, you have a right to your opinion, even though it is in direct contrast to the OP's opinion about his situation.
BUT, you have NO right to belittle him by saying you're surprised people aren't calling him a "*****" and saying things like "people are laughing at you", etc. I mean, seriously.
Even though I absolutely do NOT agree with how Griffis is handling this, at least I'm sharing my opinions with him in a (I hope) respectable and understanding manner! And even with all your BS (and belittling posts) to him, he still responds to you in a respectful and polite manner. Amazing he is.
I'm surprised the mods haven't smacked you in the back of the head yet for all of the disparaging posts you've been directing towards the OP. Either tone it down or LEAVE THE THREAD.
I'm telling him the truth. You want me to lie just so I don't hurt his feelings and then 2 years down the road the dude is completely devastated?
Best to get it out of the way now, right?
No, you're telling him YOUR truth, as you see it.
Sometimes the best way to get through to people is to meet them "where they're at," instead of making them feel like crap for not choosing to do life your way.
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