I guess I can clarify a bit for those who said that I should have asked him out. After he moved on Saturday, I didn't hear from him Sat, Sun, Mon, until I finally texted him Tuesday checking in and asking how he was. He responded, and then asked what my plans for the upcoming weekend were. I answered him, and he never responded. Then I waited, and then Friday I texted him again. He responded, told me he was so sorry and how its been so busy for him. He again asked me my weekend plans, it was Memorial Day weekend so Monday was a holiday. I told him, and then said something to the fact of "Well if you are free then we should make a plan." He then told me he would have to see because its a big weekend for him with family and he also wanted to keep doing things to fix up his new place. He did warn me it was a fixer upper. So I said okay, and I told him it seems he is so busy lately. He said "I know, its this whole process for me. I do want to get down and go to Pete's."
Pete's is a restaurant in my town that he loves and we talked about going together.
Sunday night rolls around and I get a text message from him asking what I was up to. I respond, thinking he has some free time on Memorial Day and wants to do something. He never responds. I wait all week until Thursday and I finally text him again asking if he is okay. He responds to me Friday saying how he has been crazy busy and had at least 30 text messages he had to answer when he finally sat down to look at his phone and how he is so tired. At this point I just said "Its all good. Have a good weekend."
Haven't heard from him since
That was last Friday. It is now Thursday.
Here is more background on this:
So he was living in the condo he and his ex bought together. She didn't live there any more. He could no longer afford it so he had to move, and she was moving back in because they own it. I know he did move, because he did sent out an Instagram picture of his dog at their new place. It was as he said it was.
I guess what baffled me was that he seemed so into me right before this. We talked for three weeks before our first date. He rescheduled on me twice, because he had family things he had to do like a wedding to go to, and then something else with his parents. He called me on the phone, apologized a ton, and then immediately picked another date and time. Our first date was so great. He took me to a really nice restaurant. We laughed and had a great time, called me right after the date that night to tell me he had a great time and wanted to see me again. A few days later we go hiking with his puppy, and out for coffee afterwards. He seems to be planning dates with me and suggesting ideas with things I put I enjoyed from my dating profile. It was thoughtful.
We text and talk on the phone in between. Third date I go to his house. He takes me shooting, we hit it off, its fun, and he insists we go back to his house and he makes me dinner, and we kiss. Fourth date, he comes to my house, we take a nice walk around a lake nearby and we grab food, and cuddle on my couch. He texts me after apologizing for the cuddling, and says he didn't mean to push it. I tell him he did nothing wrong and it was enjoyable and he didn't push it. He says he is a huge cuddler and loves getting physically close to someone. I tell him we will get there eventually and he agrees and says that if I ever feel pushed by him to let him know right away, because he gets excited and sometimes doesn't realize.
The week before the move, I go to his house and we decided to have a movie night since it was raining. When I got there his dog was all over me loving me. He walked over laughing at him. Saying “You like her boy, yeah you like her, I really like her too.” He told me he really liked me a few times and kept doing this cute thing where he would lean over and pucker his lips for a peck. He did it so much and I loved it.
We order some food, and I drive us to pick it up. We sing in the car and talk. He grabs my purse from me and holds it in his lap, saying he knows how this all works.
It’s raining still so he insists I stay in the car while he gets all wet getting the food. He says I can repay him by kissing him before, during, and after dinner. Throughout the time he keeps telling me he likes me and I’m pretty.
After dinner we started watching the movie, cuddling up. We stopped a few times to make out a lot. Then he turns me to face him and says he wants to make sure we are on the same page.
He says “You don’t want to get married tomorrow right?” We laughed and I said no. He then told me he doesn’t want to rush into anything emotionally and that he is emotionally fragile and nervous. He said it might take him some more time to open up and he hopes I can be patient with him. He said when he really likes someone he gets really attached quickly and falls hard and gets all soft and mushy so he wants to take things slow as to not make any mistakes, as he wants a relationship. I agreed. He then said he is okay with physical stuff, being naked, but he said he doesn’t want to have sexx until we are in a relationship. I agreed and said I felt the same way. He said he is definitely more emotionally fragile than I was, and he said I seem to know exactly what I want and he really likes that. He said he loves monogamy and isn’t into hookup culture at all and has never done that, as his ex, from high school, is the only person he has ever been with. I assured him I had only been with one person too and one serious relationship. He loved this and told me it made him feel so much more confident. He said he likes relationships and being with one person. I asked him if he was seeing anyone else, he said no.
We bonded over the fact that we had each only been with one person. He knew word for word things I wrote on my dating profile and we talked a lot about our pasts and dating. I said I had been out on dates here and there with people I met in school or through friends, but there just wasn’t a spark there and it never went anywhere. He said he felt the same way. He said he went on a few dates with people from online. He said sometimes even walking up to the person it was clear they were never going to see each other again after the date. He said he had the same problem, just nothing there between anyone and him. He told me how he loves being naked and cuddling and he’s such a cuddle bug. He loves being close in that way. I agreed. He said he was in no rush for anything to happen, and we weren’t having sex, which I agreed on.
We ended up heavily making out on his couch, and then he asked if I wanted to go to his room because we’d have more space to cuddle and make out. We went to his room. Some clothes came off, but we mostly made out, because we agreed on the no sex part.
It got later and later. Past midnight. It got to the awkward, do I stay or do I go part? He and I were both very undecided. Neither one of us could make a decision. It was so late, I ended up just staying. We cuddled all night. It was great. We woke up, and were both pretty happy. He offered to take me to breakfast, but it was Sunday- mother’s day so I told him I would rather go and do it with my mom. He was fine with that. We parted ways and I spent the day with my mom. His house is halfway between my house and my parents’ house. He texted me later in the afternoon asking when I was leaving my parents to head home. I told him around 6pm. He then told me I should make a pit stop at his house if I want, since its halfway there. So I stopped on my way. He offered me dinner but I declined because I already ate.
We started this joke that he is only my “Tuesday guy”, since he came to my house on Tuesday for the first time. We joke like we have all these people for every day of the week, but in reality we both laugh together and say we have no idea what we are doing, because we have never been with anyone else except the one person we both each had. He then joked with me saying “Well I’m your Tuesday guy, and you are my Saturday and Sunday girl.” It was really cute.
We watched a movie on the couch cuddled up. We talked. Then we ended up upstairs in his bed again. No sexual stuff. He then said he would literally just pay someone to cuddle him, and how he would love it. Then he says, “But I mean its way better when it’s with someone you are starting to care for.” I told him that I like that we are on the same page and I am okay with not rushing into anything, but I also don’t want to wait forever. He said he understood. I also told him how we aren’t just going to hangout in bed all the time, as I am not just some girl to do that with. He laughed at me, and told me that he doesn’t think I’m just some girl, as I was only with one person in my past, and had not been with anyone in over a year. And he again said how he likes relationships and monogamy and not just hookups. And he even mentioned how he will have to come out my way a lot more and we can go to the lake and eat at this place he loves. I told him I want to continue to go out on dates and do fun stuff together out. He said he totally agreed and he was on board. He reminded me that he likes monogamy and relationships so he wants to do all that stuff too. He joked that as long as we end up cuddled, maybe naked, after our dates maybe sometimes.
It got late, midnight again. Then it was again the struggle of if I stay or go. I was kind of tired so I kind of wanted to stay, but since it was a work night, I got the vibe he wanted me to go, so I went home.
Monday night, the day after I see him, he texts me around 8pm telling me he wants me to come over. I am hanging out with friends and tell him I am having a girls night. He says “So I am not going to see you tonight?”
I say no and tell him I am not leaving my friend to drive 45 mins to see him.
I texted him the Tuesday after asking him if he is still going to be my Tuesday guy, as a joke? He told me we have to re-schedule and he has so much to do for work Tuesday and Wednesday. I said okay and was fine with it. He told me we would figure something out. Wednesday he talked to me about his day but nothing about plans. Thursday he started texting me about what my plans were for the weekend. I tell him I am free except for Saturday, because it’s my brothers birthday.
He tells me he is officially moving on Saturday to a new place. He goes on to tell me this new condo is across the street from his mother’s house. He tells me he will most likely be coming my way a lot more to my house because he doesn’t want me to be parking down the road. He tells me that I will have to share my bed with him if he comes and we can cuddle. He says his mother is nosy and will see my car outside his house for a long time, and especially if it stays there all night. I understand he might not want to tell his mom he is seeing someone yet, since we aren’t in a relationship.
He then says he is trying to see what time he has for the weekend. And isn’t sure about us seeing each other and he might try to come my way Saturday night after the move. I remind him of my brothers birthday and he says “Oh yeah. I forgot.” Then he says he may not be able to make it down to see me until the weekend after. I was a bit shocked by this. A whole week away?
We make no plans. I make plans with my girl friend Thursday night to walk by the lake. My girl friend says she has to leave by 7:30Pm. I get a call on my phone from him. He is begging me to come over. I tell him I have plans with my friend. He tells me to cancel. I say no. He tells me to come after 7:30. I’m stuck. He tells me he should have never let me leave Sunday night. He tells me he was sitting last night thinking how he wished I was there next to him. And now he realized that he's moving and he might not be able to see me on the weekend and he really wanted to see me tonight, as it was probably going to be a little while until we can again.
I don’t want to accept last minute plans, and won’t. I didn’t Monday, but I did want to see him. He’s buttering me up and telling me how he really wants to see me and he’s sorry its last minute. He tells me he wants me to stay over. He finally convinces me so after my walk with my friend, I drive to him. I get there. He is eating his dinner late. I play with the dog. Soon after he comes over starts kissing me and pushing me towards his room since it was a bit late already. He tells me to set my alarm for 6AM, thus me staying there for sure. . It gets late around midnight and we are making out and he suddenly seems unsure about me staying there. He says how it’s a work night and how maybe we shouldn’t make this a habit and how we should reserve this for weekends only. I tell him it makes me feel weird and like I should leave. I tell him I wouldn’t have come all that way to have to turn around and drive home and now its late and it was storming out. He tells me to stay and its fine and he doesn’t care and it’s all up to what I am comfortable with. I felt bad, because I felt like I was putting guilt on him and pressuring him into letting me stay. I tell him this. He tells me he is just being anxious and nervous. I ask him about what, and he say just feeling emotionally fragile and vulnerable. He started asking me if I was on the pill. I said yes and he said good. Then he asks if my ex and I always used condoms, I said yes again, and he says “good girl.” And he says how since he and I have only been with the one person each and we are clean, that we won’t be spreading things to each other.
I commend him for being smart, and asking these things. Its responsible and important. I’m sticking to my standards of not doing it until we are more serious and he agrees and keeps looking at me with this look of awe and telling me he is so happy we are on the same page and agree.
I end up staying. It was so late. I was tired, and it was raining buckets out. We wake up super early. We part ways. He kisses me goodbye and says he will be seeing me. I got to work and he to work.
I text him later in the day telling him I had a good time with him and I hope his moving Saturday goes smoothly. He responds and says he will keep me posted.
Later in the day I am driving to my parents for the birthday party the next day. I end up in bumper to bumper traffic. I call him and ask if he wants to grab some dinner with me to get me off the road, and I was right near his area, trying to get to my parents’ house. He says he can’t because he is hanging out with his college buddy, but says how my offer is very tempting. I say okay, and how I figured I would ask just to see. He says “No no. I’d love it. Just might be weird if you and I are hanging and my buddy and I are being boys.”
I tell him to “go enjoy your dude time.”
The next day he moved, and now I am three weeks later with minimal communication and confusion to boot.
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