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Thanks for all of your support and replies. I appreciate it. I am going to move on. I have to for my own sanity and I have to stay strong. I know what I want. He even admitted I was very secure. I am. I worked hard to be this way. I have anxiety and I struggle, but I am in a much better place than I was a year ago. I know I don't want a guy who doesn't have time to see me and doesn't see me as a priority. I was with someone once who was like this and it ruined me, and I know I never want that again. I have a lot to offer and a big heart and he had to have seen that. Its truly too bad he is choosing things to be this way. Hopefully I can keep meeting men and find someone whom I like who gives me what I am looking for.
They only had 6 dates. If she doesn't hear from him, it's over. Why is it so hard to understand if you don't hear from someone and they don't make plans with you, they aren't interested in continuing with more dates? I think a lot of time people say they want " closure" but what that really means is they want to " talk" and try to get the person back/work it out. If they had been together for a year, sure they should talk, but this was just dating, nothing more.
Believe me, this guy knows darn well she wants to see him, she has made that clear. Just let it be.
I repeat again, there is nothing to be confused about. Stop analyzing this. You are far too invested in a guy you barely know. And continually thinking about this and wondering why won't change anything.
No need for snarkiness. They didn't just have 6 simple dates. There was no 30 minutes to meet up for a cup of coffee here and there. It seems they had some pretty good quality time. So what if someone wants closure? It's about hearing the truth, not just "trying" to get the person back.
Of course he knows she wants to see him. My point was if she wants to make a date and he gives her the "I'm busy" excuse again then she should find out what his deal is and then move on if he's going to be a flake.
I'm going to try. I'm sad. I feel like I put myself out there and was willing to give myself. I literally dressed up everyday and did my hair, and made sure I looked so good, because I was excited and wanted this to work. I was excited and happy and on could nine that this guy, whom I liked, liked me. I, and everyone that knew me thought in a few months I would have a boyfriend, thats how well things were going. I loved his dog and his dog liked me and he liked that I liked his dog and treated him so nice. He told me he trusted me because he told me a lot of personal things and I didn't judge him. I'm sad because I let my guard down and was slowly trusting him. I keep thinking back to the moments we shared and how happy I was.
Not that I am not happy with my life now, and how I am. But it was just a different sort of happy, that you don't get when you are single. I'm sad and slightly depressed because my ego is bruised and my self esteem is shaky. I am working so hard to try to keep things at bay, but I can't help feeling hurt and upset.
I can't, won't, beg someone or make someone like me. Its impossible, and I'm 25, not 16. I just really felt like we had a good connection, which is rare for me. I have to move on because I can't hang on like a sad puppy. I don't want to be sad. But I also don't want to be with someone who can't make me a priority and want to give me time and effort. I deserve a little more than what this guy has been doing.
Everyone tells me I am so sweet and nice and accomplished for my age. I'm mature and smart and pretty. I try really hard when I am with someone. Someone just the other day told me, a guy at work, that he couldn't believe that I had any trouble finding a man and he literally would never think that is something I struggle with. I told him yes, I did. He said if he wasn't going through a nasty divorce he would take me out right away. Made me feel a bit better. this guy is missing out. I wanted to be apart of his life. I miss him. I miss the puppy and the fun times we all had together. Its truly too bad he can't get his stuff together.
It happens though. When I was dating it happened to me, they lost interest as did I. SOmetimes I would know a reason I lost interest ( for example, guys being too clingy), other times I just wasn't feeling it, or didn't want to get serious, whatever.
If you think about it, what could he really say to you that would make you feel better he has lost interest? There isn't anything. So stop saying you just want an explanation. That isn't what you want, you want him to contact you and want to be with you
And stop worrying you did something wrong. I do wrong things all the time, everyone does. When you are with someone solid, it doesn't matter. No one is perfect, I am certainly not and neither is my husband.
You would be wise to just block his number. And don't tell him you are doing it, just do it. No drama, no issues, just an acceptance that this didn't work out. Because I think if you do hear from him, it will just be more of the same. Seems like way too much of a smooth talker.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amkxoxo
Thanks for all of your support and replies. I appreciate it. I am going to move on. I have to for my own sanity and I have to stay strong. I know what I want. He even admitted I was very secure. I am. I worked hard to be this way. I have anxiety and I struggle, but I am in a much better place than I was a year ago. I know I don't want a guy who doesn't have time to see me and doesn't see me as a priority. I was with someone once who was like this and it ruined me, and I know I never want that again. I have a lot to offer and a big heart and he had to have seen that. Its truly too bad he is choosing things to be this way. Hopefully I can keep meeting men and find someone whom I like who gives me what I am looking for.
Did you actually ever ask him out? Hinting or saying you want to spend time together isn't the same thing.
Did you actually ever ask him out? Hinting or saying you want to spend time together isn't the same thing.
She did take the initiative a couple of times, and in fact the last real interaction was her asking him to meet her for dinner. So yes, she did.
OP, I am betting that his moving close to his mom has cooled his jets a bit on the thought of having you (or any girls) over. He sounds a little bit immature about relationships, so just relax and don't do anything rash like deleting or blocking him.
Moving is a HUGE deal and adjustment. Just let this go and move on, and if he comes back with a decent explanation, then you can decide if you want to date him again.
One other thing: Don't ever let a thing with a guy cause you to spiral into self-doubt like you did when you were giving us your resume and telling us how smart and accomplished you are. Dating involves two people, and those people always have SOMETHING going on. It doesn't always go the way we want, but your self-esteem has to be able to survive those uncertain times.
OP, it's okay to be sad. He just wasn't the one. Pamper yourself for a few days. Then, get back "out there".
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He just wasn't the one. Pamper yourself for a few days. Then, get back "out there". 
